Stolta ankungar – Whatever floats your segelbåt

I was taught to do my makeup by queens in gay bars in New York City. I made my Broadway debut at 14 years old and did 8 shows a week but there was never a night I was too tired to run to a gay bar and do a quick Whitney cover before bed. My music being embraced and celebrated by the LGBTQ community is all I ever truly cared about when I thought about my career goals early on. There’s no award I could win or accolade I could receive that would fulfill me more than seeing a 6-foot queen with a 4-foot ponytail walk into my meet n greet and say “hey girl” or meeting a young queer person at Starbucks and them letting me know that my music has helped them become who they are. Literally nothing. Love is like music. It knows no boundaries and isn’t exclusive to any one gender, sexuality, race, religion, age or creed. It’s a freedom and a delicious luxury that all people should be able to sink into and enjoy every moment of. I am eternally indebted to and inspired by the LGBTQ community. I hope to create anthems for you that wrap you up with comfort and make you get your best life for as long as I live. Thank you for celebrating me the way I celebrate you.

I love you forever.

Bisexual people in relationships with folks of the other gender are not only themselves still bisexual (I’m really ashamed of a bunch of all that this shit even needs to be said, like c’mon), but their relationships are queer.

Yes, I just said that straight people can be involved in queer relationships without they themselves being queer.

The reason for this is simple: folks who are in relationships with queer people will always have to deal with their partner’s marginalization impacting their relationship. Always. Even if their bisexual partner chooses to be entirely stealth about their queerness (and that’s their right, by gods, fight me about it), their relationship is still impacted by that very choice existing. It’s a facet heterosexual relationships never have to negotiate.

Frankly, bisexual folks have to deal with active marginalization from multiple angles: heterocentrist and homocentrist. And in case I actually have to say this aloud? We should not be fucking marginalizing our own, y’all. That makes you a bad person, and you should feel bad.

heart eye kittens for your pride month needs!

T W E N T Y G A Y T E E N

🌈 (JUNE) 🌈

Laugh From Around The World In Messages.

there is an exact copy of this masterlist under the “resources” tab on my blog!

finding out your romantic orientation can be a struggle. it’s laborious, intense, and often unrewarding. there’s a dearth of information available to aro and aro spec people, and that’s a shame.

i’ve compiled a list of the links and resources that helped me the most: from the blogs that helped explain what aromanticism was to the positivity blogs that helped me not feel so alone. hopefully this helps someone out, because no one deserves to feel like they’re groping in the dark when it comes to something as vital as your identity.

(if there’s something that helped you out, message me, and i’ll add it to the list!)

definitions: what is aromanticism? (and all the other words associated with it)

AVEN Wiki — fairly basic. kind of clinical, really only for people with zero understanding of aromanticism. good as a tool to help explain to cishets.

About Asexuality and the Ace/Aro Spectrum — goes into the types of attraction that different people can experience. explains the difference between sexual and romantic orientation a little better.

That’s So Aromantic — a psychology today article that is a bit like the last source, but with more attached resources and extra definitions for words like queerplatonic and amatonormativity. 

Turtle Analogy — a cute sketchy comic that explains aspec orientations in the easiest possible way.

AACE Club Resources — some definitions about aro spec identities and more resources.

5 Myths About Aromanticism — a buzzfeed article. pretty self-explanatory, but something i had to come to grips with was all the stereotypes about aro people—that we’re cold, unloving, etc. this definitely helped with that.

Meet the Aromantics — stories from actual aros on their experiences with being aro, and what that meant for them. this helped a lot in validating my own feelings and experiences.

Aromantics Just Wanna Be Your Friend — a vice article. combines definition and testimony into one well-written package.

Amatonormativity — a definition, written by the person who coined the word. also includes its own resources that you may find helpful.

am i aromantic?

if you’re here, you’re probably already questioning your romantic orientation, or maybe you’re just trying to learn more about the subject. either way, this list, compiled by anagori, is things they’ve seen in themself and other people. they also have a really good linkspam.

so you’ve realized you’re aromantic. now what?

chances are you’re probably gonna want to read up some more on the subject, whether on aromanticism in general, or queerplatonic relationships, or alterous attraction. here’s a few things to help you do that.

Commitment in Relationships for Celibate Asexuals and Aromantics — this article just resonated with me in a way that i can’t fully explain. in it, the author (of whose pronouns i am unsure of) discusses levels of commitment, and how to attain them in an increasingly amatonormative world.

Experiences of Loving — an analysis on the different types of love and how powerful non-romantic love can be. 

related blogs to send asks to/follow any inactive blogs on this list are here purely for the archives.

Aro-Ace Place

Ace and Aro Positivity

Arospec Awareness Week — this links straight to their resources page, which was incredibly helpful. the blog itself is inactive.

Hugs and Squishes — a blog that showcases queerplatonic feelings and relationships, as well as intense platonic feelings. no romance involved.

Queerplatonic and Aromantic Advice — somewhat inactive, but the archive is useful.

Aro Ace Nesting Place

Aro Support — also inactive.

Asexual and Aromantic Support Group

A-Spec People Are Beautiful

Positivity and Reassurance Blog for A-Spec People

Lee says:

Those are the only two types as far as I’m aware, it isn’t a whole list. 

Our Dysphoria page has info on what dysphoria is:

What is dysphoria?

What Is Gender Dysphoria?

Physical vs social dysphoria

What does dysphoria feel like?

How the mods have experienced dysphoria

8 indirect symptoms of dysphoria (follow-up post)

Myths about dysphoria

Is my dysphoria normal?

Is dysphoria a diagnosis? / Gender dysphoria diagnosis

The WPATH-SOC on dysphoria

Dysphoria only after coming out

Dysphoria and dissociation

Dysphoria vs dysmorphia

Why not body acceptance?

Dysphoria chart

Non-binary people can experience dysphoria

Does experiencing dysphoria automatically make you trans?

Being trans without dysphoria

Being trans is not a new, trendy thing. Trans people have always existed.

“Hart wrote later, in 1911, of his happiness during this time, when he was free to present as male, playing with boys’ toys made for him by his grandfather. His parents and grandparents largely accepted and supported his gender expression, though his mother described his “desire to be a boy” as “foolish.” His grandparents’ obituaries, from 1921 and 1924, both list Hart as a grandson.”

Even growing up, Hart rarely faced resistence for his transition. Even while attending college, he had professors who indexed his medical degree under his chosen name despite needing to issue it under his legal name (which was Lucille at the time).

Most people simply did not know Hart was trans unless he told them. He was sadly outed as trans in Oregon in a local paper by a former classmate. This motivated him to get marry his first wife and move back home so all his friends knew he was ashamed of nothing and quite happy.

Unfortunately, the strain of financial insecurity weighed on his marriage and his first wife left him. He married his second wife (who he was with until he passed) the same year he divorced his first.

Hart found his way into tuberculosis research regarding radiology. Without his techniques, tuberculosis would have continued to be a devastating disease. Hart saved the lives of thousands of people, most of whom could previously not afford to be screened and advanced radiology as viable and cheap.

He also stopped the stigma sorrounding the disease in its tracks. Tuberculosis was once akin to a veneral disease, but Hart insisted his clinics and treatments be referred to as “chest clinics” and “chest treatments” so his patients would not face ostrasization for seeking help.

It would be remiss to not acknowledge that Hart was an important figure in medical history who truly cared about people.

Even today, Hart is still helping people! After his death, Hart’s wife Edna did what he wished and established their estate to gain interest. That interest is given to leukemia research every year (Hart’s mother died of leukemia).

He said in a speech to a class of graduating medical students:

Being trans is not a new, trendy thing. Trans people have always existed.

“Hart wrote later, in 1911, of his happiness during this time, when he was free to present as male, playing with boys’ toys made for him by his grandfather. His parents and grandparents largely accepted and supported his gender expression, though his mother described his “desire to be a boy” as “foolish.” His grandparents’ obituaries, from 1921 and 1924, both list Hart as a grandson.”

Even growing up, Hart rarely faced resistence for his transition. Even while attending college, he had professors who indexed his medical degree under his chosen name despite needing to issue it under his legal name (which was Lucille at the time).

Most people simply did not know Hart was trans unless he told them. He was sadly outed as trans in Oregon in a local paper by a former classmate. This motivated him to get marry his first wife and move back home so all his friends knew he was ashamed of nothing and quite happy.

Unfortunately, the strain of financial insecurity weighed on his marriage and his first wife left him. He married his second wife (who he was with until he passed) the same year he divorced his first.

Hart found his way into tuberculosis research regarding radiology. Without his techniques, tuberculosis would have continued to be a devastating disease. Hart saved the lives of thousands of people, most of whom could previously not afford to be screened and advanced radiology as viable and cheap.

He also stopped the stigma sorrounding the disease in its tracks. Tuberculosis was once akin to a veneral disease, but Hart insisted his clinics and treatments be referred to as “chest clinics” and “chest treatments” so his patients would not face ostrasization for seeking help.

It would be remiss to not acknowledge that Hart was an important figure in medical history who truly cared about people.

Even today, Hart is still helping people! After his death, Hart’s wife Edna did what he wished and established their estate to gain interest. That interest is given to leukemia research every year (Hart’s mother died of leukemia).

He said in a speech to a class of graduating medical students: