welcome to this blog where i will (hopefully) be writing and posting once again. i took a fairly long break from posting on a different blog due to the irl circumstances and writers burnout. it wasn’t a big blog whatsoever, and honesty i didn’t post that much on there.. sigh.
▸ but! i want to try getting back into writing, i miss it dearly. i’m making this post in hopes it can garner some traction and by doing that it’ll hopefully encourage me to write more if i know people will want to see it. it’s a big ask, i know, but i’d still like to give it a go. ❤︎
▸ with that being said, i’d like to quickly mention that i am a student, so my posting may not be as regular as expected or preferred, but i will try my best! i write in my free time, whenever i can, so waits should not be extensive. i will also try my best to communicate when i may not be as active (again, that may not always be possible).
▸ okay, now! i won’t make this post too long, i know i’ve been waffling but i’ll briefly introduce what i can and may write and whatnot, and the limits of my writing too!
(when i tell you i have had to write this for the fourth time thanks to tumblr glitching out on me…)
▸ let me quickly get the boring details out of the way: i am twenty one (21) years old, so don’t worry - i’m not a minor! you can call me vio or vi, i don’t mind either! i am not entirely comfortable writing nsfw pieces as of right now as i have never done it before, but i am willing to dabble in it every now and then. so overall, this blog will be a sfw blog with the occasional suggestive piece here and there – i will mark things appropriately when they are needed!
▸ right! so, i aim to be a pretty diverse blog that writes for many people, however i do have a natural bias towards girl groups and female idols. that’s doesn’t mean i won’t be writing for male idols, i will! especially if they are requested and they’re included or mentioned in my write for blog (whenever i get around to making that).
▸ though i feel like this should go without saying, i will still mention it. this blog is a safe space for everyone of all identities and preferences. any form of discriminatory mindset or treatment will not be tolerated. remember that respect literally costs nothing, you’re all loved, darlings. ❤︎
⮑ finally! i believe i have covered everything i feel like i needed to for the type of post this is. by the time this is up, i should (hopefully) already have an ask box on my blog (granted i know how to make one..) so if you have anything you’re curious about, any questions, or just want to say hi – please do!
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pairing → church admin/nurse!jisoo x tattooist!jennie 〴 au！
tags / ⚠︎ warnings → i want to preface this by saying this will be heavy angst!,, hurt/comfort,, religious guilt, self loathing,, emotional and physical harm, both to oneself and others,, toxic families,, repression of emotions and desires,, potential light smut,, childhood friends-to-lovers,, forbidden love,, right person, wrong time,, ( to be added... )
𑣲. if you believe this would be too heavy of a read for you at the moment or in general, please take care of yourself and click off. perhaps you can come back at a later time! you're deserving of all the good the world has to offer you ‹𝟹
blurb → nearly a decade ago jennie chose to walk away from a life she no longer believed served her or who she was anymore. she left with nothing but the clothes on her back, a handful of savings she managed to make when she worked alongside her mother as an ecclesiastical seamstress, and the conviction that she would rather lead a life where she was hated by those around her for who she was than loved for someone she was not and could never be.
jennie is now a tattooist. she built a life entirely herself for herself, and she has learned how to make art out of peoples' scars, which in turn helped her learn to love and care for her own - both internal and external. she is no longer ashamed. jennie hasn't visited her family, town, or re-entered the church in 7 years. she hasn't spoken to jisoo in 5.
alternatively, jisoo stayed. she became everything her family and the church expected her to be. a nurse by day, and a part-time church administrator in the evenings and during her holidays, she is selfless, reliable, and doted on by everyone around her. when Jennie left, she stayed. she saw it as a sacrifice she needed to make; confusing it for devotion. jisoo chose to stay 7 years ago, and 5 years ago, and now, she is marrying the man everyone has always said is right for her. the good, faithful man her family chose, just for her. then, much to everyone's dismay, jisoo sends jennie an invite to her wedding. everyone told her numerous times not to; they advised her against it, reminding her of jennies' disgraced status, and how unwelcome she was. however, jisoo sends it anyway, and Jennie accepts it and she goes.
now, beyond the prayers they have both heard and recited thousands of times, the beautiful white dress jisoo gracefully wore, they were both under the same church roof again. the church they grew to love and hate for all the wrong reasons. a woman who saw no future worth living within the church, and a woman who couldn't imagine a future outside of it, no matter how much suffering she had to endure by staying.
sooo... who wants it? : ] ... (i really want to continue writing what I have going of this, please </3)
the current atmosphere and vibe i’m actively envisioning for the fic. i’m using a pinterest board to help keep everything together. the more i work on it the more excited i get to continue writing it, eee
pairing → church admin/nurse!jisoo x tattooist!jennie 〴 au！
tags / ⚠︎ warnings → i want to preface this by saying this will be heavy angst!,, hurt/comfort,, religious guilt, self loathing,, emotional and physical harm, both to oneself and others,, toxic families,, repression of emotions and desires,, potential light smut,, childhood friends-to-lovers,, forbidden love,, right person, wrong time,, ( to be added... )
𑣲. if you believe this would be too heavy of a read for you at the moment or in general, please take care of yourself and click off. perhaps you can come back at a later time! you're deserving of all the good the world has to offer you ‹𝟹
blurb → nearly a decade ago jennie chose to walk away from a life she no longer believed served her or who she was anymore. she left with nothing but the clothes on her back, a handful of savings she managed to make when she worked alongside her mother as an ecclesiastical seamstress, and the conviction that she would rather lead a life where she was hated by those around her for who she was than loved for someone she was not and could never be.
jennie is now a tattooist. she built a life entirely herself for herself, and she has learned how to make art out of peoples' scars, which in turn helped her learn to love and care for her own - both internal and external. she is no longer ashamed. jennie hasn't visited her family, town, or re-entered the church in 7 years. she hasn't spoken to jisoo in 5.
alternatively, jisoo stayed. she became everything her family and the church expected her to be. a nurse by day, and a part-time church administrator in the evenings and during her holidays, she is selfless, reliable, and doted on by everyone around her. when Jennie left, she stayed. she saw it as a sacrifice she needed to make; confusing it for devotion. jisoo chose to stay 7 years ago, and 5 years ago, and now, she is marrying the man everyone has always said is right for her. the good, faithful man her family chose, just for her. then, much to everyone's dismay, jisoo sends jennie an invite to her wedding. everyone told her numerous times not to; they advised her against it, reminding her of jennies' disgraced status, and how unwelcome she was. however, jisoo sends it anyway, and Jennie accepts it and she goes.
now, beyond the prayers they have both heard and recited thousands of times, the beautiful white dress jisoo gracefully wore, they were both under the same church roof again. the church they grew to love and hate for all the wrong reasons. a woman who saw no future worth living within the church, and a woman who couldn't imagine a future outside of it, no matter how much suffering she had to endure by staying.
sooo... who wants it? : ] ... (i really want to continue writing what I have going of this, please </3)
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warning(s) → hurt/comfort & angst! .. mentions of work stress, passing mention of meal skipping, low self esteem, self sabotage and self doubt, especially in relation to the relationship. read with caution, and please take care. ♡
authors note → this is pretty angsty, i wanted to try something new again and i’ve been so hooked on ‘will you cry?’ by gracie so i couldn’t not (sorry in advance, maybe?). i hope you enjoy reading nonetheless. <3
you never meant to shut him out. you can’t even pinpoint where you let things get this bad; it was completely unintentional. you only began picking up on it when your apartment began to fall quiet and your mind quietened down enough for you to notice. seungmin stopped asking if you were okay, because every time he did you were insistent on giving him the same answer every time: “i’m fine.” – bluntly, plainly, and disingenuously. in all honesty, it was a bunch of crap. you weren’t fine, not even close to being it.
stress was creeping up on you and eating away at the last bit of sanity you had, and that was being generous. work deadlines, self doubt, and the overbearing, creeping fear that you weren’t good enough for anything, let alone somebody like him. so naturally, you withdrew. you talked less, your smile became automatic and dishonest, and you were hellbent on putting it all down to “exhaustion”.
though, tonight seems to have been your final breaking point. the act finally crumbles.
you’re stood in the kitchen, near one of the counters where your hands gripped the edge and your shoulders slumped forward, breathing too quick. you’re trying to calm yourself down before he notices, because that was the last thing you wanted, but of course he noticed. seungmin always notices. you didn’t notice it at first, but he appeared in the doorway, voice gentle but careful. “hey.. are you feeling alright?”
you subconsciously flinch at the question, and not because of him, but because you were tired of lying and pretending, and tired of feeling like you’re constantly disappointing someone who has only ever wanted to and gives you everything. “yeah, i’m fine.” you responded quickly without looking over at him, sight fixated on the counter in front of you. to that he exhaled slowly. he was frustrated, but not angry. he was just hurt, mostly.
“you always say that.. you’ve been saying it for weeks now,” he started off in a soft whisper, partially unsure of whether he should be continuing to try getting through to you. your chest tightened at the comment; your grip on the counter hardened as you attempted to sniff casually. “that’s because it’s true.”
“it’s not true though.” he says almost instantly, stepping closer to you now. his voice remained quiet, but there was a slight tremble in it now, “y/n, you’re not sleeping. i don’t remember the last time you actually sat and had a meal, and you’ve barely eaten any of the food i’ve prepared for you…” he paused contemplatively as he took a breath, “… and you won’t even look at me anymore unless i ask you to.”
you swallow hard as he voices his concern, slightly taken aback by how much he noticed. you knew he was observant, but you never thought he’d notice so much when you told him everything was okay so many times. “i don’t want to bother you, you have enough going on as it is.” you finally respond after a beat; trying to keep a steady demeanour.
seungmin just stared at you in a confound manner for what felt like an incredibly long moment, your words clearly breaking him ever so slightly. “is that what you really think, that you’re a bother to me?” he questioned, his voice cracking before he could stop it. all you could do was open your mouth, but nothing comes out. your eyes sting, and your throat burns as everything inside you threatened to spill. seungmin reaches for you in that moment, but stopped himself halfway – his hand frozen in the air.
“tell me,” he muttered, mindfully, much softer now. “please. tell me why you’re pushing me away.” you glance at him briefly. his eyes were so sincere, and so full of hurt. it pained you to see him like this, and something inside you instantly snapped.
“because i don’t want you to regret being with me, seungmin!” your voice is quiet but sharp, and your words echo off the walls. his eyes widen, but not in surprise or anger – in something far more painful. all you can do in the moment is turn away as you grip the counter with everything in you. it felt like it was the only thing holding you up. “i’m messing everything up..” you whisper, your voice strained from still attempting to hold yourself together. “you don’t deserve someone who falls apart this easily—”
“stop.” his voice cut through sharply, enough to make you still, and that’s when you finally look at him again. his breathe is unsteady, his eyes are glassy, and he’s shaking his head like he can’t believe the words leaving your mouth. “don’t ever say things like that about yourself.”
your shoulders subconsciously slump as you swallow, tears finally spilling. “seungmin—”
“no.” he cuts in sharply, but gently. “you think you’re protecting me by shutting me out,” he pauses, taking a moment to process his own thoughts. “but you’re hurting us both.” oh, how you wanted to argue, to apologise, to run – anything, but your legs feel heavy, and your soul is far too weary.
seungmin steps closer slowly, cautiously, like he’s afraid you’ll break if he makes any sudden moves. when his hands finally reach you, they’re surprisingly firm; one resting over yours on the counter, and the other hovering near your cheek briefly. you let him touch you.
his thumb softly wiped a tear you didn’t even feel fall. “i don’t want perfection,” he whispered as he looked at you – like really looked at you. “i want you. even when you’re overwhelmed; even when you’re scared,.. and even when you think it’s messy.” just as he saw your eyes threaten to look away he swiftly lowered his gaze to recapture them again, a corner of his mouth curling upwards ever so slightly. “i want you, y/n.”
your lips tremble as well as your voice. “i don’t know how to stop ruining things.” and with that, seungmin gently guides your head to his chest. your breath hitches at the sudden but familiar closeness, and at the way his heart seemingly stutters as if he has been holding his own anxieties back.
his chin now rests on top of your hair, and his arms tightened around you. “you’re not ruining anything. you never were,” he murmured reassuringly into the top of your head. “but shutting me out? darling, that hurt.” he inhaled shakily, the last thing he wanted was for you to feel bad for the things you couldn’t and can’t control. “let me stay. even when you think i shouldn’t— please.”
you were still entirely guilt ridden, but his words provided a vaguely familiar sense of comfort. you always knew seungmin was understanding, but you still couldn’t stop yourself from trying to distance yourself from him, and you never for one second thought that would lead to him hurting. you never wanted that. your fingers instinctively clutch his jumper like it’s your finally lifeline, and you’d drown if you even dared to let go. “i missed you so much,” you choke out. “even when you were right here, i missed you.”
seungmin exhales, long, and oh, so heartbreakingly soft. “then stay with me, and let me stay with you. okay?” he hums as he pulls away from the embrace, his hands almost immediately finding their way to cup your face. you look at him with tear stained cheeks and eyes that told far more than you’d ever intended to share before nodding. you stare at each other for a long moment before you inadvertently began sobbing quietly.
“oh, baby,” he coos softly as he pulls you back into his arms, firmly this time. in no way was he trying to change you, or fix you. he simply just wants to hold you. that’s all you needed, and it was all you were afraid to ask for.
“i was scared of disappointing you.” you confess quietly into his chest, your arms tightly wrapped around his torso as you let out a broken sound. you hear seungmin let out a slow exhale as he shifts his chin and plants a gentle kiss on your hair; one of his hands caressing the back of your head softly.
“you could never disappoint me,” he began soothingly, “i love you, … and not the version you’ve seemed to think i’ve built in my head. i love the real you, the you that’s in my arms, soaking my jumper now.” he quips sincerely as you let out a scoffed laugh and give him what can only be described as a pathetic slap on his back.
for the first time in a long time, things felt a little lighter. of course, the weight is still there, but you have hope that you can make things easier for both you and seungmin. because the last thing you want is to drive one of the most important people in your life away. you want things to work; you want to let him in unapologetically.
aaa i have something cooking, fingers crossed i’ll get it posted by tomorrow night at the latest! i’m still so flabbergasted by how many notes my chan drabble has?! i didn’t think anything i wrote would ever get anywhere near that many interactions :’’
aaa i have something cooking, fingers crossed i’ll get it posted by tomorrow night at the latest! i’m still so flabbergasted by how many notes my chan drabble has?! i didn’t think anything i wrote would ever get anywhere near that many interactions :’’
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it’s always extra special when someone leaves a kudos or comment on one of your older fics. like you’re telling me you scrolled all the way down/filtered through all the works in the fandom and clicked on my fic, even though it was posted months and months ago? and you LIKED IT? you showed it some love even though it’s been collecting dust for months?
and this, everyone, is how you make a writer‘s entire week.
warning(s) → other than being the slightest bit suggestive, none.
authors note → aah, hi again! this is another one from me, again, heh. i’ve been wanting to write for ryujin for a while now and for some reason this specific scenario felt so fitting for her, so i really hope you enjoy it! please feel free to request if you have anything you’d like me to write, and share what you think! any feedback would be appreciated (mwah x).
it’s 23:34 on a tuesday evening and you’re laying on the sofa, scrolling through your phone when ryujin walks in with a towel draped over her head. her hair is a damp, tangled mess, and she’s rubbing at it, or at least making an attempt to, because she’s clearly doing a horrible job. you look over at her with a natural grin as you instinctively switch your phone off and place it to the side. “you’re gonna catch a cold like that,” you tell her, reaching for the towel as she scuttled closer.
“oh, please, i’ll survive.” she retorts coolly with an evident smirk, still sitting down in front of you. she eases into her seat as you began gently drying her hair, fingers carefully brushing through soft strands. closing her eyes, ryujin hums a soft tune, and the sound, low and content, makes your stomach flutter ever so slightly. “this feels so nice,” she murmurs while tilting her head back slightly, instinctively leaning into your touch. “you’re like a cat when i do this.” you giggled in response to her mannerisms and tone. “then you should totally keep doing it.” she instructs almost instantly.
you can feel the warmth of her neck beneath the tips of your fingers as she leaned her head back further, opening one eye with a teasing half grin. “i can tell you’re staring,” she starts, her elevated ego evident in her smug tone.
“i’m not.”
“you are.” in response to her having the final word you simply roll your eyes, and she laughs which breaks the moment – only a little though. her hair was pretty much almost dry now, fluffy with a few strands sticking out in different directions. “all done,” you announce, naturally, you begin smoothing it down, fingertips softly grazing the back on her neck as you placed the towel down beside you. she leaned forward as she thanks you and grabs something off the coffee table, her lip balm. you watch as she twists the lid off and applies a thin layer, which ultimately leads to her catching you watching.
“want some?” she asks liltingly, instinctively tilting her head when you shook yours quickly, “i’m fine,” you respond quickly, straightening your back in hopes it made you look more ‘sure’ – however that’s supposed to work. “are you sure? sharing is caring.” her teasing tone and body leaning closer didn’t help your reddening face as you stared at her intently.
her lips were slightly glossed, eyes glistening, and for a moment you’re sure you forgot how to breathe. the air between you was charged, but softly; it was playful, intimate, with a touch of electric threatening to take over. her gaze flickers between your eyes and your lips, and her teasing grin briefly faltered into something else. “i don’t think i’ll ever get enough of you,” she whispers, and you can hear the affection in her voice. you shift your hand slightly and it brushes hers, just a graze, but it was enough to make both of you still momentarily.
before you knew it, the distance between you has dispersed and both of your eyes closed as she captured your lips with hers. the kiss is slow, unhurried, slightly tentative – it’s mindful. none of you were in a rush; it was mostly a soft moment for both of you, you were sharing lip balm after all. as if naturally, your fingers interlock as you leaned into the kiss slightly, feeling her smile against your lips.
only a moment passed before she pulls away and laughs softly, pressing her lips into a straight smile and glancing at yours playfully, “you’re so cute when you’re nervous.” she comments, and despite the heat in your face already betraying you, you throw the towel at her in mock offence, causing her to grin – she absolutely didn’t care. she let go of your hand and cups your face, giving it a gentle squeeze as she plants a peck on your lips. “thank you for drying my hair,” she murmurs affectionately.
you smile as best as you can, feeling your face distort under her touch, “anytime.”
“good. ‘cause i might ‘forget’ to do it myself next time (again).” she warns proudly, a playful yet knowing grin visible on her face.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hi angels, i’m currently working on a jeongin piece and a ryujin piece, but please feel free to request things if you’d like to! i’ll start working on a guideline’s post as soon as i can <3
