These are hilarious. The last one especially.

If this offends you 😊 unfollow me 😊

And a note to confederates: these monuments weren’t kept because this was “history”. These monuments celebrated horrible things and we BLEW THEM UP.

dnfjfidlshfkssnsn

sorry if this is too kinky but can you hold my hand and tell me i mean a lot to you

*gives someone so much space that i never speak to them again*

My life is just a constant journey to seek warmth. No metaphor. I mean like coats and jackets. Getting under the sheets and standing under heat lamps. Soup.

All that Activia and Jamie Lee Curtis still don’t give a shit about your feelings.

Real growth starts when you’re tired of your own shit

and then god was like let’s not give this bitch a break

me: i don’t mind being alone also me: *feels abandoned for no reason at all, needs constant reassurance that my presence is wanted, cannot see how anyone would want to be friends with me, is not able to focus on anything because of the intense feeling of imaginary rejection*

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs