Supermarket employee simulator:
You wake up a crisp twenty minutes before you have to get to work, throw on your unwashed uniform, and run out of the door. You’ve forgotten your badge and it’s raining. You get the bus, which is of course, like riding in a mobile sauna, so you take off a layer and settle in for the ride, your headphones are sitting on your desk at home, so absolutely no music.
Arrive to work fifteen minutes late, manager is staring you down like a tiger, they don’t say anything to you but whisper accusingly to your line manager who gives a dirty glare.
Start working, four different customers come up to you for items that can be found if they turned exactly 180° and actually looked with their goddamn eyes. One customer decides they don’t like your nonexistent tone, and complain.
The store manages to be somehow colder than the ice planet Hoth on one end, and hotter than Tatooine on the other, so regardless of your uniform you are simultaneously hot and cold. A customer asks you to check the back for an item, and you’re immediately told off for slacking on the job. You’re two hours in.
Run around like a madman until its breaktime, its a seven hour forty five minute shift, so you’re only allotted a fifteen minute break. This is just enough time to chug back an off brand energy drink (its a few days before payday so only the finest and cheapest will do) before a line manager storms in to get you to do something else - there will be no time to finish your break.
The unholy trinity of workplace spills all manage to happen in one aisle, and its your job to clean it up. Wine, honey and a giant tub of peanut butter is ever so lovingly smeared across the floor, culprit nowhere in sight. It takes thirty minutes to clean and your hands are slightly sticky for the rest of the shift. Someone cracks a jar of pasta sauce in aisle three, you scream into your hands.
You finish off the shift stacking a few shelves, managing to cut yourself on some particularly vengeful corrugated cardboard, dropping at least four items and booting a customer in the face while standing on a stool. You trip getting off the stool and eat shit in the busiest aisle in the store, everyone stops and stares.
You clock out and go home, relieved to have finished such a gruelling day, thank god tomorrow is your day off. You’ve forgotten to get the groceries you needed at the end of the shift, but whatever, it’s a tomorrow problem.
You come home, excited for a long hot shower, but today of all days, the water heater dies on you. Oh well, at least you can watch your favourite show.
It’s been removed from your streaming service and been put on the only one you don’t have, but it’s available to rent for 16.99 plus a virgin soul. You don’t got that kinda money.
May as well head to bed early, things will be better tomorrow. You close your eyes and start to drift off. Ding!- your eyes pop open. Its your manager texting you to pick up a shift for 6am the next day.
You say yes, because you don’t want them to schedule you the horrible shifts nexts week. Your room has turned into an anti-sleep chamber, and you spend the rest of the night tossing and turning in bed, half cold and half sweaty. Your phone chimes again, first thing in the morning and it’s a subscription you forgot to cancel stealing your last fifty bucks.
It is a Wednesday morning.
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