I got fucking bored and the world sucks so this is my little like? blog now? I guess
prepare for me to be insufferable

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@undyingbrax
I got fucking bored and the world sucks so this is my little like? blog now? I guess
prepare for me to be insufferable

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god it's a good thing none of my girls are on here
I love how last month I was thinking about my life a decade from now and how incredible it'll be and now I low-key can't wrap my head around waking up tomorrow because existence feels so unbearable
I need someone to be as gentle with me as I am with the people I love
On the topic of training and kink, I think one of the most fun kink group activities for me over the past like half year has been playing the training game. I've probably spent at least ten hours playing it with friends over five sessions or so over the past several months.
So, the training game comes from Karen Pryor's Don't Shoot the Dog. A book on animal training that I highly recommend. It's played with anywhere from three to ten people, ideally in the same room (though we've made discord calls work for international friends). All you need is an open space (it doesn't even need to be clean), and something like a clicker (whistling or snapping works, if everyone can snap).
To play, one person is designated the 'animal', and sent out of the room, where they're expected to not listen in. One person is designated the 'trainer' and given the clicker, and the trainer along with the group will then decide on some simple task. I've seen "hug a blahaj", "sit still on your bed for thirty seconds", "twirl and then curtsy", "do a push-up", "put the dirty dishes away", "kiss two plushies together", "crawl towards me on all fours", "throw a specific plush", "put your head in your hands", "take off your shirt", and "touch your nose to the bed". To name a few.
Then, the animal is summoned back into the room. No one is allowed to talk (except the animal, though the things they say might as well be barking for all they matter), and the trainer must through using only clicks guide the animal into performing the desired behavior. Standard practice is for the first few clicks to do a full reset of the room (with the animal leaving and returning) after, and occasionally to do a reset from then on. Thus, the goal of the animal is to try different behaviors and through trial and error physically discover the task. Everyone except for the animal and the trainer is to merely watch, and while they are permitted to laugh or groan non-volitionally, they are discouraged strongly from attempting to communicate directly.
The fun of the training game, in a kink sense, is severalfold. First, the animal's behavior is directly being shaped by the game. They are being forced to think with their body, and they are simultaneously the center of attention and being analyzed. The trainer meanwhile is directly getting to shape their behavior, and enjoying that power dynamic. There is something truly special about guiding a sub into what might normally be a demeaning behavior, or just forcing them to do something cute on your command.
The utility of the training game, in a training sense, is simple. It teaches you how to understand how an animal perceives the world, it teaches you how to communicate without language, and it teaches you the importance of timing in operant conditioning. Finally, it teaches proper usage of a clicker. All of this is, if you have a kink for training, immensely useful.
I really enjoy the skill expression of it. Learning how to time the clicks to keep your animal satisfied with a difficult task, learning how to time the clicks to keep your animal from going down the wrong path, learning how to read what your animal is thinking on their body language and react accordingly. ...Also I'm probably like. one of the worst in my group at being the animal. There is a certain headspace with it, it rewards thinking with your body and not your mind. And I'm not good at that! I should also note that it can end up being a pretty good exercise for the animal.
The "discord call" adaptation of the training game works less well along a few factors. You'll all want to make sure you are intimately aware of exactly how long the ping delay for sending a "click" is, and I recommend highly using the soundboard for it. I will note that while the animal will need video, and a camera that can see a wide range to move, the trainer doesn't. I found the adaptation to be somewhat less euphoric but sometimes even more rewarding with difficult prompts.
Finally, playing it. I recommend rotating through animals and trainers, so everyone gets to be in each role at least once. Ideally, with every possible permutation. Additionally, try to start with very simple objectives, like picking up a specific object or making a specific movement. Gradually increasing the difficulty over time will make the game more exciting. It can be as quick as a single round or as long as multiple hours of play. It is fairly involved, but I think keeping it low stakes is for the best.
Anyway, the training game is, as you can see, not explicitly sexual in any way. And depending on the choice of objectives, it can lean more or less erotic, though being the designate 'animal' and 'trainer' will always be erotic to the right ppl. If you have a kink group, it can work as a pre-scene activity, or even just a casual thing to play while other things are happening. If you're interested at all, I highly recommend getting a group together and trying it sometime.
holy shit. okay. saving this for.... reasons

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Cemeteries are not wastes of space. Historical cemeteries ESPECIALLY are not wastes of space. The fact developers are continuously foaming at the mouth to destroy them and put a strip mall up in their place should make you even more determined to help maintain them. In urban areas, they are a haven for wildlife. They are a green space. If you are too afraid of death to utilize them for that purpose, that is on you.
I need a sugar daddy. Or a mommy! I can be such a good little tboy I promise. I won't even ask for very much, I swear.
thank you ao3 for being an archive and not an algorithm. thank you for letting me like things without consequences, thank you for being free with no ads, thank you for having lawyers to defend our freedom of speech. thank you tag wranglers. thank you to all authors and thank you ao3
sometimes I forget how normal the kink lifestyle has become to me because I'll be talking to a friend and go
"yeah my Dom needs to talk to her Puppy and renegotiate some of their contract so I can call her an honorific I want to and we can do some other things"
and my friend will look at me horrified and go
"you have contracts about what you can call your partner?!"
like it's the most unbelievable thing in the world.
um, yeah babes. I'm asking this incredible woman to fuck me while I'm sleeping, choke me till I pass out, carve patterns in me with scalpels, treat me like her dog... you need a negotiated contract to be able to have someone do that shit to you. you need a contract to not step on other people's toes- I'm the newest one here, the new puppy, the new Boy, the baby of everything. the worst thing I (or you) could do is go out of your way to offend people.
showing you listen and care is one of the best ways to make connections.
woke up this morning and immediately threw up
:( hot people tummy issues or whatever I guess.
my Dom is coming over tonight so I can be baby, cook for her, and she can do my T shot. I'm so gone for this woman

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had a super cute lil thing happen yesterday where my boyfriend and I found this lost dog, he was super sweet and playful, we got a leash on him and returned him, perfect happy ending blah blah blah
I am so covered in hives. I have not had a physical reaction this bad since I was eight years old and at a fucking school social event with my mom
In my doms house, cooking her dinner and breakfast, making her coffee, washing her hair... I could be a house puppy. I could be Her house puppy.
the world is running out of glassblowers and yet you want to become a fucking doctor
Support your local tradespeople and artisans!
used a medical marijuana Thingy for the first time and boy howdy do it work
my legs are tingling
my lower body is lingling
my face? is tingling?
I might be floating
I think my edible just kicked in😅
updates might follow if I don't end up in space
I'm. blinking out of sync. heartbeat is in the side of my ribcage. this thing is 10/10
I humbly suggest that true crime freaks should get into learning about scammers instead of serial killers. I LOVE reading about fraud and grifts and pyramid schemes. true crime ppl have all this paranoid energy about murder, which is rare in the grand scheme of things.....maybe instead that could be channeled into some productive rage toward capitalism.
And u know a side effect of learning about scam artists is that you start to understand certain things about economics, and just how STUPID these systems are and how easily they are taken advantage of....and I'd much rather people gained a passing familiarity with economics than whatever armchair psychologist shit these true crimers get on. We need fewer people who think they're experts on "sociopaths" and more people who understand how people like Elizabeth Holmes and the WeWork guy were able to do what they did
Here are some of my favorite books about financial scams:
The Wizard of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust by Diana B. Henriques.
The Big Short: Inside the Doomsday Machine by Michael Lewis (about the 2008 stock market collapse).
The Caesar's Palace Coup: How a Billionaire Brawl Over the Famous Casino Exposed the Corruption of the Private Equity Industry by Max Frumes and Sujeet Indap. (I admit I've never finished this one; the writing is hard to read.)
The Great Beanie Baby Bubble: Mass Delusion and the Dark Side of Cute, by Zac Bissonette. I bought this book because of the subtitle and I have never regretted it. You must read it.
Catch Me If You Can by Frank Abagnale. They turned this one into a movie! The book was very different and is worth reading.
The Cult of We: WeWork, Adam Neumann, and the Great Startup Delusion, by Elliot Brown and Maureen Farrell. I haven't read this one yet, but it's on my tbr pile!
Opus: The Cult of Dark Money, Human Trafficking, and Right-Wing Conspiracy Inside the Catholic Church, by Gareth Gore. I'm reading this one right now. The author is a financial journalist who stumbled onto this story by unraveling a bank failure in Spain.
And here's a list of more non-fiction books about fraud and financial scams. The first book on this list is about Theranos and Elizabeth Holmes, which I also haven't read yet.
Enjoy!
If you are a podcast fan, I recommend Scam Goddess, which is run by Laci Moseley who is fucking hilarious and frequently approaches the trade from a pro-scam perspective. She is also having a Moment: she's published a memoir and recently got a television show of her own with a limited run on Max. The episode on Dixon, IL is my favorite: that small town was scammed out of $53 million by Rita Crundwell, who pissed the money away into her small empire of western pleasure quarter horses. Laci is very much an indoor cat and goes in for a fairly hyperfemme fashion style, complete with long fake nails, and she is hilariously visibly bewildered about why anyone would pay money to ride horses. And skeptical of the entire concept of horses, for that matter. As someone who quite likes horses, it was incredibly funny to watch--and the scam itself is one hell of a humdinger, too.
Stolen World by Jennie Erin Smith is a slight change of pace: it's about the early acquisition of herps (reptile and amphibian species) by zoos and museums, which was cartoonishly corrupt and involved a lot of animal smuggling. It was truly fascinating.
I would also love it if more people got into medical scammers and grifters, because boy howdy, if you want to look at a death count, those folks often beat the serial killers all hollow. In that vein...
Charlatan by Pope Brock is all about the goat balls-themed radio empire of Charles R. Brinkley, who made himself cartoonishly wealthy by selling surgeries in which he would cure whatever ailed you by tucking freshly-removed goat testicles alongside your own testicles, nestled nicely in your sac. (If you did not come with your own ready-made testicles, he did not have a lot of thoughts unless your problem was infertility. In this case, he would tuck some goat balls or some goat ovaries--your choice depending on what sex of kid you wanted to have--right alongside your own ovaries instead.) Brinkley was so successful he inadvertently spurred the creation of the American Medical Association, which lead to getting knocked off the airwaves and spurred him to run for Kansas governor as a write-in candidate on the platform of "give me my medical license and also my radio show back", and he nearly won.
I’m currently reading The Woman Who Fooled The World (the basis for the Netflix series Apple Cider Vinegar), which is about an Australian influencer who pretended to have cancer, but also about the dangers of relying on the pseudoscience of the “wellness” industry.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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used a medical marijuana Thingy for the first time and boy howdy do it work
my legs are tingling
my lower body is lingling
my face? is tingling?
I might be floating
I think my edible just kicked in😅
updates might follow if I don't end up in space
really struggling mentally the last couple days. this is the first time I'm saying this on any kind of truly public platform, my ex gave me hsv. I'm in a shit ton of pain rn and it's impeding plans that I paid a bit insignificant amount of money for. I feel really powerless and frustrated.