bungee jump dracula

The concept of orchestras holding cheaper tickets for "under 35s" is so funny to me. In the eyes of fine art we are but drooling babes.

I’m really enamored with the dynamic of two characters who work perfectly in tandem, like pacific rim drift compatible level, but they don’t like each other. It’s not even as strong an emotion as hate it’s just a very neutral-negative dislike, but they still act in perfect concert and their individual abilities are fully complementary

ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

sometimes on the tumblr app you click on an image to see it fullscreen and it will give you a completely different image it has sourced from the fucking aether. i hope they never fix this because i got flashbanged with an image of scooby doo calling me a ‘raggot’

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

i cant watch the x files without being enraptured by david duchovnys face and when it isnt his its gillian andersons and her hair . how am i supposed to focus on this alien murderer.

my beautiful baby who i'm naming untitled document

i can't seem to find my baby

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

How To Love Your New Friend Without Being Overbearing

I'm Gonna Eat Her I Think