Pls Help

*cuddles up close to you* *puts my mouth by your ear* I NEED CONSTANT REASSURANCE THAT YOU STILL ENJOY ME AND FIND OUR RELATIONSHIP APPEALING

I ate 5 bananas today my potassium is logged the fuck in

U might die if u do that evry day

The bigger your shoes are, the bigger your dick is, the bigger your car is, the smaller your dick is. No wonder people are so afraid of clowns.

Taking your white shirt off before eating spaghetti is a power move

Putting a white shirt on over whatever you’re wearing just to eat the spaghetti is a bigger power move

i tie the ends of the sleeves shut and fill them with rocks  if anyone tries to stop me i start swinging

it would funny if it didn’t hurt inside

its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies

at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes

^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent

WHAT Thank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!

I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.

I love this post so much it’s filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one

thank you

Legend says that he’s still spinning in that kitchen