UnBiAsEd ArMy ₊˚.

Hi there! 😊

Sooo, this is not BTS related content at all.. But I was writing in my notes on my “Feelings” page, and as I’m writing I’m just filled with so much emotion. I felt as though this entry NEEDED to be shared. So I really hope that whoever decides to read this can take something positive away from it. 🩷✨🦋

⊹*𓂅˚ ˳♡ ⬫ ˳ ❀ ⁺ ˚̣̣̣͙ ⊹*𓂅˚ ˳♡ ⬫ ˳ ❀ ⁺ ˚̣̣̣͙ ⊹*𓂅˚ ˳♡ ⬫ ˳ ❀ ⁺ ˚̣̣̣͙

I have been dwelling on a question lately. The question I’ve been asking myself is this; Am I truly a good, or “nice” person? So many people these days tell myself and the people around them how I am one of the sweetest (if not THE sweetest) people they have ever met, and I’ve begun to believe it.

But it only takes one little hiccup, apparently, for me to question everything about myself. I know that I like to make the people I love happy. I want to help every chance I am able to. I want to buy people things (nothing big) to show them how much I care. I want to be there for them when they may have no one else to call. But is it all for my own selfish needs? Or is it genuine kindness coming from my heart?

That’s what I have been struggling to find out these days. I make one mistake and I can’t help but to tear myself apart. I’m not good enough, I’ve never been good enough, and I’ll never be good enough. I’m fake. I’m not REALLY that nice, I’m only pretending to be that nice. But where would that get me? And if I was only pretending to be nice, then I would have to be mean at some point, right? And when I think about when I’ve been mean… Only that one mistake that I made just recently comes to mind.

And it was an accident.

And I apologized.

And I cried.

And I hated myself.

But it really, truly, was an accident. And he possibly, maybe? Has forgiven me now?

I’m not sure but when I wrote that letter to Malachi about why I bought him a Christmas present, I think it opened my eyes and my heart, showing me that I am HUMAN and I have LAYERS. I am a people pleaser, yes, but when I give someone my love, it is whole and it is genuine. So yes, I may buy you flowers when you’re sad because I selfishly want you to be happy and I want to see your smile. But I will also be there to listen to you cry when the flowers aren’t enough to heal your broken heart. So when I ask myself if I am TRULY, a good person. A good friend. I think I will tell myself yes, yes you are. ❤️

⊹*𓂅˚ ˳♡ ⬫ ˳ ❀ ⁺ ˚̣̣̣͙ ⊹*𓂅˚ ˳♡ ⬫ ˳ ❀ ⁺ ˚̣̣̣͙ ⊹*𓂅˚ ˳♡ ⬫ ˳ ❀ ⁺ ˚̣̣̣͙

Namjoon

• very tall, already very comforting

• one arm around your waist one arm around your shoulders

• one hand cradling your noggin and one hand rubbing your back

• gently swaying you both back and forth

• tells you everything is gonna be alright and that he’s there if you want to talk or if you just want to sit in silence

Jin

• wraps both arms around your shoulders

• nuzzles his head on top of yours

• asks what happened and if he needs to hurt someone

• I imagine him wearing a really soft, comfy hoodie that would make him even more snuggly? Idk why

• would make you some comfort food after hugging session

Yoongi

• grabs your hands pulling you towards him and wraps your arms around his waist

• wraps his arms around your shoulders squeezing you to his chest

• let’s you nuzzle your face in the crook of his shoulder

• gently pets your hair

• he would just hold you in silence, patiently waiting for you to tell him what’s wrong

Hobi

• seeing you sad would make him sad

• wraps his arms around your waist pulling you close

• nuzzles his face into your neck while you do the same to him

• gives you small pecks on your shoulder and neck

• would rub your back and ask if you want to snuggle and watch a silly movie to make you feel better

Jimin

• wraps his arms around your waist, his hands rubbing your sides

• whispers sweet things to you like all the reasons he loves you

• rests his noggin on top of yours

• hums prettily and you can feel his chest vibrate

• hugs you for as long as you need, not letting go until you do first

Taehyung

• wraps one arm around your waist and the other around your shoulders

• runs his fingers through your hair gently massaging your scalp

• kisses your cheek asking what’s the matter

• your head would be resting on his chest to where you could hear his heartbeat

• would offer to find yeontan and bring him to you for additional comfort

Jungkook

• wraps his arms around your waist and plops onto the couch with you in his lap

• your head would be resting in the crook of his neck

• kisses your temple

• with one hand he would play with your hair asking how he can make you feel better

• he would be rubbing your back with his other hand

♡‧₊˚✧ ˳ ♡‧₊˚✧ ˳ ♡‧₊˚✧ ˳ ♡‧₊˚✧ ˳ ♡‧₊˚✧ ˳ ♡‧₊˚✧ ˳ ♡‧₊˚✧ ˳

Hi everyone! ☺️ I was not expecting the amount of love that this piece has received and I am so grateful and so excited that there are so many people who are enjoying my work!

With that being said I just wanted to say hello and thank everyone who has read any of my work, it means so much to me truly! 🫶🏼

So thank you all for your support, I’m really still getting my footing here on tumblr and I’m really just dabbling with whatever writing form suits the ideas that pop into my brain at that particular time lol I just hope you all continue to enjoy whatever else I may post on here!

͟͟͞͞➳❥ ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Back to the main subject at hand though . . .

Who was your favorite hugger in these scenarios? Was it your bias? 👀

A series of letters sent while your husband Hoseok is serving in the military and you’re at home thinking of him on a chilly autumn evening. 🍂

In which you and Park Jimin are falling head over heels in love with one another on a snowy night. 🌨️

❀ ✿ ❁ ✾

Namjoon has left me in a puddle of emotions as his solo album finally dropped last night. #Indigo Having felt such deep emotions, I couldn’t help the inspiration that grew from within and led to me creating my own little piece of Indigo.

But while I was in the process of painting in all of these different shades of blue, an intrusive thought crept into my mind… What if Namjoon walked into my room with a super heart warming smile on his face cause he loved my painting…

Aaaaand now we’ve got a little drabble because I couldn’t let this beautiful, comforting thought go to waste. :) I hope that you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. 💙

✿ミ★♡︎⁂𑁍☆彡❀༄✧♥︎𖧷❄︎☾彡⁂❁

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It has been longer than I would like to admit since I felt that creative pull to start a painting. So long in fact, I had actually forgotten what that spark of inspiration felt like. That is until last night.

I really wasn’t doing anything special, I was hanging out with some friends, grabbing a couple drinks when I realized that RM’s new solo album would be dropping at midnight. Once that realization dawned on me, I was so giddy and excited that I set an alarm for midnight immediately. After that, I resumed catching up with my friends as I waited for the moment that I could experience that deep color blue.

Flash forward to midnight, I am quite literally skipping with glee out onto the patio to be clear of all the noise from within the bar, waiting with baited breath for the first song to play. (Absolutely not grinning like a mad person, could never be me…) Thankfully for me, after trying to listen to the first two songs from the album, my friends had decided to call it a night, and after bidding them goodbye, I hopped right in my car and cranked the volume as Change pt. 2 began to play.

Having a wonderful jam session filled with soul, sadness, sexuality, peace, and chaos, I finally arrived home with this feeling of completion. With my endorphins flowing freely, thinking of the sheer pride I carry for the man who put out his heart and soul for the whole world to see, I decided to call it a night (but not before putting the new album on repeat of course).

⁂☆彡☾☁︎︎༄✩ミ★☁︎︎༻⁂☽☁︎︎༺✧

As my alarm goes off the next morning I bask in the morning light and the after glow of the previous night, unable to kick this need to create something. It was like an itch that needed to be scratched. And so, scratch I did.

Once I was ready for the day, I finally decided to pull out all of my art supplies, cringing inwardly at the amount of dust that had gathered on top of everything. As I get my mini easel set up on my bed, I cannot get Lonely out of my head, so I decide to que up the playlist I had already created: 🧵🐋🌏🦋🌧️

I grin to myself with excitement for what is yet to come, ready to create something with so much meaning, not just for me, but for so many people around the world. As the music plays in the background I hum along to the parts I’ve already committed to memory, and listen openly to the parts I have not as I get several different shades of blue prepped for my painting.

I decide to create something simple, since there is already so much meaning behind just the color alone, the painting itself didn’t need to be complex in order for it to make sense. At least not for me, and this is a painting I wanted to keep. I take my brush and run it through the darkest blue first, nearly black, like the color of an abyss.

With the music so loud, I didn’t even hear the front door open, or close, nor did I notice when a large man walked down the hallway to the open doorway of my bedroom, leaning there quietly. Only when I’m about to dip my brush into a lighter shade of blue do I notice his relaxed frame standing there as he watches me. Once I realize he’s there I nearly jump out of my skin, a blush immediately beginning to overtake my cheeks, flooding down my neck in a blotchy trail of pink and red.

“Oh, hi! I uhm, didn’t hear you come in.” I speak once I’ve turned down the music significantly, fiddling with my paintbrush with a sheepish grin.

There’s a smirk that quirks up the corner of his lip for just a moment, realizing the effect he has on you, before it’s replaced with eyes filled with wonderment.

“Yeah, that music was pretty loud, huh? Must be pretty good whatever it is..” He trails off with a cheeky grin, putting his fingers to his chin as if to contemplate whose music you were listening to.

I couldn’t even scold him for being so witty when my mind was filled with all of the praises that were nearly falling off of my tongue.

“Namjoon.. The album is.. Beautiful. And that in itself is such an understatement, you really, truly, put your heart and soul into it and it’s so evident in your lyrics, your flow, just everything. It’s perfect. I’m so proud of you.”

A shy smile begins to form over his lips as he walks over to you, still sat on the bed, taking a seat next to you. His eyes scan your painting and it’s hard to decipher what he’s thinking. Until he tells you of course.

“This, is beautiful y/n. These colors are so vibrant. And it looks like you really captured that feeling of drowning in the abyss but swimming towards the light. When did you make this?”

I feel my heart swell and my eyes begin to water at the unexpected praise, making me bite my lips to try to keep my composure.

“I started it this morning, I just couldn’t shake this feeling of inspiration and creativity after listening to your album last night. You made me feel so many feelings. And I guess I wanted to do the same, even if this particular piece of art will be kept within these walls.” I finish speaking with a smile as I recall all of the different emotions Indigo has made me feel.

Taking a glance at you before he focuses back on the painting he just sits there, like he’s admiring a work of Van Gogh. There’s a comfortable silence that settles before he turns to you fully, gently placing one hand on your cheek and one on your waist.

“This is one of the most beautiful pieces of art I have ever laid eyes on. It’s been so long since you’ve painted and I am honored to be your muse. I want to get a frame for it as soon as it’s finished, I wanna take a picture of it for the whole world to see.” He punctuates his deep feelings by pulling you closer, nudging his nose against yours, looking deep into your eyes with his own dragon like ones.

As I look into his eyes which are like two unending pools of emotion, my cheeks feel warm once again. I shyly wrap my arms around his neck, snuggling closer to him.

“What could I have done in my past life to deserve such an amazing man like you, Junie?” I whisper, feeling like if I speak too loudly he’ll be blown away, like a dream fading away far too quickly.

At this he leans closer, barely pressing his lips against mine, but just close enough that I can feel them curve into the shape of a beautiful smile, one that is sure to make his cheeks dimple.

“You know, I was going to ask you the same exact thing..” He speaks quietly before slowly pulling back to move the paint supplies and painting off of the bed.

Once the bed is cleared off Namjoon kicks off his shoes and gently lays me down with him, side by side, my head resting on his chest as he slips his legs between mine. We both release a deep sigh in sync with each other, resulting in us both breaking out in a fit of giggles. The kind that makes your cheeks hurt. But once the laughter dies down I gaze up at him, feeling nothing but peace.

As he peers back down at me he runs his fingers through my hair, making me all the more relaxed, causing a lopsided smile to appear on my face as I’m transfixed on his beautiful features.

“Namjoon-ie, you’re so beautiful..”

Hearing this compliment, he can’t resist the smile that invades his features. He shakes his head ever so slightly before speaking.

“No baby, that’s you. My beautiful y/n.” His voice sounds more husky as sleep threatens to take over, but he fights it off by planting a gentle kiss to your lips.

I smile against his soft, full lips, unable to contain my happiness as butterflies invade my stomach. Our lips move together very slowly, like we have all the time in the world. Yet like there’s no tomorrow. Finally pulling back from a kiss that I can only imagine feels like heaven, I bury my face in his chest with a small grin.

This makes him chuckle as he continues to play with your hair. He then places another kiss to the top of your head, pulling your body closer to his.

“I think that your painting is so cool babe, I seriously can’t wait to frame it and post it on Insta.”

I can’t help but giggle as he continues to gush over my painting. I decide to take a peak up at him with a questioning brow.

“You really think it’s that good..?” I ask hesitantly.

His mystical eyes meet mine before he speaks with the most genuine smile.

“I know it’s that good, love. I think ARMYs will absolutely love it. But we have to keep it here, I wanna keep it.” He finishes with a small pout.

I lean up and kiss his pouted lips before reassuring him.

“No worries, I actually painted that for myself. To remind myself that when I’m in those dark times, that there will always be light at the end, and that I just have to keep swimming towards that light.”

He seems satisfied with that answer as he simply rests his head on top of yours with a small nod, snuggling closer to you. He then places one final kiss on your forehead, bidding you goodnight and wishing you the sweetest dreams.

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Okayyyyyyy! I just want everyone who reads this to know that this is my first ever drabble! I have tried to write novels in the past, but I’ve never done like a one scenario kind of situation so I really hope that if you read it, you enjoyed it! But if you didn’t I am 100% open to any constructive advice you all have for me!