DID system. diagnosed 2023-2024 (began process ‘23, diagnosed officially ‘24). polyfragmented & disordered. refer to me with singular pronouns and “parts”, not alters or headmates. Adult bodied.
Are your parts separate people?
Short answer: no.
Long answer: my parts may have different names, pronouns, personality traits, and memories, but fundamentally DID is fragmentation of a singular being. Logically, we are not whole different people. “We” are all the same person physically.
A certain level of separation between parts is healthy and can decrease distress and dissociation, but I still prefer to be grounded in reality and acknowledge that DID is not me literally being multiple different people, rather me being a part in a system full of other parts. My parts aren’t all me, but my parts also aren’t separate people in the truest sense of things.
Who are the parts in your system?
It’s important to note that I, Uta, am also a part. DID is more complex than “all of the parts are just the host”. Furthermore, I do not provide a full list of my parts publicly because that’s unsafe and foolish. Sometimes parts will sign off posts, sometimes not.
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I am sure that going through an extremely traumatic event and projecting and fixating heavily on The Character to cope with said event will have no negative impact on my splitting pattern at all!
People will be like "I'm anti good faith!" and then use neopronouns and xenogenders or support them. Buddy YOU ARE GOOD FAITH. Do you know what that means. "Good faith" literally is just using labels that make you most comfortable IN GOOD FAITH / WITHOUT MALICE. That's literally it. You ARE in the same boat as lesboys and bigays actually. "Oh but I'm anti contradictory labels!" A Lot of people would consider it to be contradictory to be multigender. A Lot of people would consider it to be contradictory to be aroace and date- oh? The split attraction model I hear you mention? What the fuck do you think mspec mono/"contradictory labels" base themselves on?
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Internet safety concern is dead in sysblr spaces. I've also been pursued by someone with an OEA kink who used what they knew about my programs to hurt me.
I already see the no you/r stuff in the same exact situation that it/it's pronouns where and are in
"It's dehumanizing"
"It's not right"
"It's weird"
You don't know why someone doesn't use you/r, they could for a number of reasons, literally doesn't concern, nor harm you, they could quite literally be doing it to reclaim dehumanization trauma, you don't get to say "as a victim of-" and then police how others cope, and if you say this bs about people who don't like you/r then I will assume you say the same about it/it's pronouns, as well as neopronouns, xenogenders, name only users, ect, and therefore assume you are NOT a safe person for people to be open around.
Any pronouns can be dehumanized or objectified. It's not the pronouns themselves, but the intention and delivery of the individual saying them. Or the way they are received by the person who uses those pronouns. She/her can be used to objectify or sexualize women, but it doesn't mean no one gets to use she/her. It means some she/her users might have a complex relationship with she/her pronouns, or some might choose to not use she/her anymore at all.
This includes you/your. Everyones relationship with their pronouns is unique and complex
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At first I found it hard to form a full opinion on the current discourse surrounding you/r pronouns, but one thing I’ve notice that I dislike is how people are using the exact same arguments I’ve received from transmeds regarding neopronouns & it/its pronouns.
“I’m uncomfortable with it because it’s inherently dehumanizing” is word for word what I’ve been told in regards to my pronouns.
“I wont respect it because it encourages dehumanization and dissociation” is also word for word what I’ve been told in regards to my pronouns.
“I don’t like it because it triggers MY trauma / dysphoria” once again, word for word what I’ve been told in regards to my pronouns.
So after some reflection, I had a thought process.
I support people using the pronouns that make them comfortable. If that happens to be no you/r, who am I to suddenly back track on that? I’d like to express my support now, before this blog grows any. Anyone who uses no you/r will be supported by me, because the same things being said to them have at one point been directed at me. “It’s a trend, only kids are doing it, it’s dehumanizing, etc etc” are all the same harmful transmed arguments that I’ve faced since coming out as an it/shi user.
Being a system that prefers singular & clinical language can feel a bit othering sometimes. I call my parts, well… parts. I like to use clinical terminology for myself and default to it. I’m not super fond of we/us/ours. I definitely don’t throw any shade to systems who do like less clinical language, I just find it hard to relate to the wider community most of the time as someone who views hirself through a very medical lens.
I enjoy headcanoning characters as having a CDD. Sometimes in life you just have to acknowledge that yes, CDDs are incredibly serious and oftentimes distressing disorders… and yes, you are allowed to project your experiences onto characters you relate to, even if the context isn’t 100% medically accurate.
my current favorite headcanon is that Tingyun (HSR) has OSDD1.
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White systems please stop saying “black alter” “POC alter” “asian alter” “native alter” etc. I’m literally begging you to talk to systems of colour and realize how odd (and racist) it is to say those phrases.
A personal stance term that focuses primarily, if not solely, on CDD spaces and community support. Those who are CDD-centric have separated, or wish to separate themselves majorly or entirely from syscourse for whatever reason prn may have (e.g. exhaustion with hostility in syscourse spaces, personal health reasons, etc.).
Those who are CDD-centric are:
Pro-CDD-recovery, and respect individual systems' desires for final fusion or functional multiplicity
Non-traumagenic plurality critical, and believe NTGs do not belong in CDD spaces. This includes using CDD terms (note: the term "system" in regards to identity alteration was first used in medical texts to refer to pwCDDs, and is thus included) or claiming their experience is parallel to CDD systems in any way.
Syscourse-critical
Anti harassment
Anti fakeclaiming (this includes fakeclaiming NTGs for their believed experiences)
Anti "armchair diagnosis," forced syscovery, and forced trauma recognition
Suggestions for tags:
[in addition to CDD tags; yes syscourse is often placed within CDD tags, this is why we filter content]
#cdd centric, #cddcentric, #cdd centric community, (and more, we are open to suggestions).
This is a long post, there is a lot more under the cut. Help with image IDs & PT are extremely appreciated.
Behind the Flag
Colors:
The Foggy Blue represents complex dissociation & CDD systems as a whole
Green is for healing and growth. There are two shades of green as a representation that there is no "one acceptable path" to recovery. The choice of only two shades was influenced by the two primary forms of system integration: functional multiplicity and final fusion
Yellow is for community, and healthy/positive community spaces
Orange represents strength, and for those who speak out against misinformation, mistreatment, and injustice—no matter what "side" (particular to syscourse, as this is a syscourse-critical stance) it's coming from
Red is for the establishment of personal responsibility to enforce boundaries: blocking accounts instead of harassing others, filtering tags to minimize the amount of discourse one engages in, etc.
The blue-greys were color-picked from the CDD system pride flag.
The symbol on the flag is based on the system signet. This design retains the original meanings behind the symbol's design, while also being inclusive of P-DID systems (as the original signet is OSDDID specific). The meanings of the symbol are as follows:
The largest circle stands for systems as a whole
The inner circle within the largest represents complex structures within systems (such as subsystems) and internal parts that rarely or do not front
The smallest circle at the top (interrupting the largest middle circles) represents the structure of P-DID systems. [Explanation of this symbolism at the end of the bullet points]
The larger outer circles represent more overt parts (+ symptoms) in CDD systems
The smaller outer circles represent more covert parts (+ symptoms) in CDD systems
The stems that connect the circles signify each alter's connection and purpose to the system
Credits and many thanks to @the-complicity-system for their input on the revised system signet to also be inclusive of pwP-DID! I included their wording for the symbolism of the P-DID alteration, because I honestly can't explain it any better, myself—and I feel the wording coming from a P-DID system is more meaningful than it is from a system who does not have P-DID.
“I like pdid's symbol being a circle with another smaller circle interrupting the complete link bc it avoids the idea that the stuck host is the like main guy but still is a linked focus of the system.”
In coining this stance term, I need to make myself as clear as possible:
I coined this because I wanted a term to describe my individual beliefs.
This is NOT a push to abandon the anti endo community.
I'm tired of syscourse and how hostile it is—and how much worse it seems to have gotten in the span of time I've been on Tumblr (close to 2 years). While I've identified most closely with the anti endo community, there's been a growing association with animosity within our spaces (this isn't everyone, nor is it "all the time;" but it is a trend and it isn't getting better with time).
I enjoy the anti endo community as a whole, but I don't feel fully connected to a lot of the ideals that circulate through that side syscourse anymore/most recently. This is why I'm creating this term, and possibly (hopefully) separate community tags.
Additionally, I feel as though syscourse is completely unproductive. CDD systems who push to educate are rarely listened to by the (pro)endogenic community. Endos who try to express how they experience plurality are shut down just as quickly. Nobody listens to each other, and I feel it's pointless. I don't want to involve myself in syscourse anymore, so I'm creating this term to step away from it and focus on constructive, CDD-centric spaces.
