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Hazel hear a knock at her front door and walks outside to see Lance with a bag on his shoulder.
āShe kicked me outā¦.I told her about the baby.ā Lance explained.Ā
Hazel opened her door wide and stepped back to let Lance come in and follows him back in.
āI donāt know what to say Hazelā¦.ā he said.Ā
āI do. Bathrooms on the left and the the couch pulls out to a bed but isnāt very comfortable. Thereās an air mattress in the closet, behind the front door. The fridge is all free game.ā
Hazel gets halfway up the stairs and shouts, āExcept the ice cream and pickles! Those are not! And lock the front door, your ex is crazy!ā
Lance laughs, āshe really is thoughā he says to himself.
Weeks passed and Lance tried and tried to get a hold of me. He sent me texts after text and calls after calls, but I kept ignoring the calls and texts. This went on for about 8 weeks until they completely stopped for about another 4 weeks. At this point I hadnāt seen Lance since Hawaii and that was almost 4 months ago. I did a whole lot of online shopping. I barely left the house. I couldnāt face the world. I couldnāt handle that the best 6 months of my life, were the worst for others. That my actions caused so much heart-ache. Iāll admit when I Ā didnāt hear from Lance, I was really happy. I figured that meant he worked things out with his wife. And at the same time, that made me really sad. i didnāt want to be with him. I didnāt trust him in the slightest but I couldnāt help but be jealous and I know I have no right, but Iām only human.
For the first time since I moved, I decided to go for a walk. I hadnāt had a chance to enjoy the view of the water. I walk only walking the lake for a few minutes when I heard a sound following behind me, to my surprise, Lance stood behind me, I turned around slowly. āHazel Iā he said and stopped mid sentence when he looked at me. āHazelā¦.Oh myā¦Why? Why didnāt you tell me?ā I took in a deep breath. āI think Iāve caused your family enough pain, donāt you?ā I said irritated. āHazel, itās my baby isnāt it?ā he asked carefully. āThatās a really stupid question Lance. Of course, heās yoursā¦.ā Lance started to tear up. āIt-itās my boy?ā I tried not to smile but it was the first time I had really got to talk about the baby. And I know I shouldnāt be, but I was excited that he was excited for the baby. I smiled from ear to ear. āHis name is Elliā¦. thatās what Iāve been calling himā¦ā Lance whipped tears from his face. āThatās a beautiful name⦠Hazel how far along are you?ā he asked. āAlmost 23 weeksā¦. Lanceā¦. Iām sorry I didnāt tell you sooner. I just⦠I didnāt know what to do or say. Or how? Do I show up at your house with your other family? Do I call your phone and hope your wife doesnāt answer?ā I asked sarcastically. He took in a deep breath, āI know I put you in an impossible situation⦠but I canāt change it, all I can do is try to make the circumstances better. I know that I went about this all so wrong but Iām trying to make everything right.ā he tried to explain. āI-I donāt know what that mean and Iām not really sure if I want to, but I guess only time will tell.ā I said. āI guess so,ā he agreed.
Lance, texted me a few hours later. I didnāt even know what to say. He says Allison is unstable. And maybe she is, maybe shes not but her husbands been cheating on her for months of course her rational thinking is a little clouded. And Iām trying not to blame myself for this families falling apart, but how could I not? I didnāt know about the, but when I take a step back and look I feel even more guilty for not noticing all the signs, how could I have been so stupid? How did I not ever really care about his house. Hes a doctor for crying out loud, how did I not think that was weird? But at the end of the day...none of that matters. It doesnāt matter at all. all the little signs I missed wonāt fix whats broken and it wonāt give me courage, or love. It wonāt make his wife not exist.... It wonāt change a thing...
She came storming out of the house and it took me a minute to realize she was coming right at me, right when I was about to restart my car she aggressively knocked on my window. āWhat the hell! You followed me? Who the hell are you?ā I rolled down my window slow and only half way and took in a deep breath before I spit out the words. āYouāre really Allison Mongomery?ā She looked at me in disbelief. āYeah! Who are you? Do I know you? Does my husband know you?ā When she said the word husband my skin started to crawl, I hated those words⦠āI have kids inside! can we speed this up! Why are you here?!ā she yelled in a hurry. āOkayā¦ā I said calmly taking in another deep breath. āThis is gonna sound crazy. And youāre probably not gonna believe me. I promise Iām not here to hurt anyone. I was justā¦curious I guess⦠I donāt know,ā I explained and she waved her arm impatiently, gesturing for me to hurry up and finish explaining. āIām going to get out the vehicle. Please donāt hit me.ā I slowly got out and she steeped back staring at me. As soon as I shut the door and turned towards her I began to explain. āMy name is Hazel. I just moved here to get away from my life there. I stumbled into that store to buy a few things because my stuff wonāt be here for a few days. I didnāt know you lived in this town or I wouldnāt have moved her, I swearā¦.ā She got angry again, āthat still doesnāt explain how you know me! Or how you knew me before you even moved here!ā she shouted once again. āAllison, i know your husband. I knew him Hawaii and we had an affair.ā I took a step back to avoid being attacked. āWe were together for 6 months, until a week ago I found about you and I immediately ended it.ā Allison stayed silent staring at the ground for a minute as we both stayed silent. She lifted her hand like she was about to say something but no words came out. She then lowered her hand and immediately covered her mouth and tears filled her eyes. āPlease leave. Please go Hazel. Thank you for the informationā¦.ā She then turned around and walked back into her home quickly. I knew there had to be more to all⦠She was so upset⦠And Iām sure she has questions for me but her mind is not wright at this point. I put my name and phone number on a paper and slipped it in her mailbox. I felt so guilty. She was distraught⦠What did I doā¦

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A: Hello. Miam? Are you alright?
(I was shook, i didnāt know what to do but I knew I couldnāt look her in the eyes and I didnāt know if she knew me or who I was, did she think I followed her?)
H: Yeah⦠Iām fine.
A: Did someone hurt you or threaten you? I seen you leave your cart. So I bought your stuff and brought them for you out here.
(Great⦠and shes niceā¦)
H: Oh no.. you didnāt have to do that. (I reached in my purse and handed her some money, I handed her way more than I knew my bill would be because after all I did sleep with her husband)
I popped my trunk and she put the bags in. I was mortified. I didnāt know what to do. What do you do in this situation. Do you shout out the truth, do you lie or do what I did and act like a total stranger. At this point my conscience was weighing heavy. I wanted to tell her, I wanted to so badly, but what was I supposed to say, āthanks for your concern but i actually ran because Iām the other woman,ā or āthanks for buying my stuff and by the way I slept with your husband for over 6 monthsā¦ā No words seemed appropriate. But no the less, eventually she deserved to know. I contemplated what to do so I decided to let her go to her car and watch which direction she wentā¦. and I followed her.
I stayed about two cars behind and she drove and drove and drove. Almost 30 minutes away and she pulled down a dirt road. And thatās when it hit me. Crap⦠she knows Iām following her⦠she got out if her car at a very nice house. When she got out two little girls and a large dog greeted her. I watched them all go inside as I tried to get up the courage to knock on their front door.
1 week time jump
A week had passed and all of my moving was complete and I had purchased a small home about three hours away from my old town to insure I wouldnāt run into lance at all. His memory would be far. I had hired a moving company so I could leave as soon as it was all packed but that meant my stuff wouldnāt arrive for a few days so I decided to run to the store and grab a few things. Like an air mattress and a few other things.
As I went on throughout the store and shopped, I felt entirely fine until I got to the checkout about two customers in front of me stood a woman. A very tall, beautiful blonde haired woman. The word she spoke the cashier instantly made my skin crawl. āNo lance Montgomery is my husband, my name is Allison. Itās my husbands cardā. I was mortified. Could this really be happening? We are separated by two people in a very large store. In somewhat of a large town and his wife? His wife and I are were not only in the same town, but same store but same checkout line? This couldnāt be happening. So what did I do you ask? I did what any same person would do. I left my cart and got the hell out of there and went to my car and cried. Why, you ask? Because I was overwhelmed. I threw my head into the sitting wheel and cried. After sitting in my car for nearly 10 minutes I heard a tap on my window. I look up and. Who is it? Its her. I took a big deep breath and slowly rolled my window down....
When I got home I slammed my front door and fell to the floor sobbing. āWHY!ā I screamed. āHow could this happen?! Why? Why would you send someone like that to me?! What did I do wrong?!ā I felt so disguised with myself. Hes someones father, someones husband! How could I be so stupid? why did I not go with my gut? How did I get fooled so badly?! How could I? How did I not know? Its all so obvious now but why and how? What if I torn apart a familyā¦. Without even knowing⦠I didnāt even know⦠What about his kids? His poor children may end up suffering from their fathers decisions⦠The worst part is I still love him⦠And I donāt want toā¦. I want so badly to hate him...Ā
I know what I need to do... I need to move...
H: You have a wife!!!
L: Wh-what?
H: I know Lance! Donāt lie!
L: Okay.. yes but li-
H: No! Im leaving!
L: Wait!
H: No, what could you possibly say at this point?
L: Im not a bad guy.
H: Yeahā¦Youāve said that beforeā¦
L: Listen to me. Yes I have a wife. But we barely speak. She and I havenāt physically and emotionally been together in a very long time.
H: I donāt know how I couldāve been so stupidā¦
L: Hazel⦠Youāre not. Please⦠Youāre all I gotā¦
H: No! Donāt do that! You donāt get to do that! I loved you! I trusted you!
L: It doesnāt have to be!
H: Yes! You have children!⦠How many Lance?
L: Please Hazelā¦
H: HOW MANY LANCE?
L: I have two⦠Two girlsā¦
H: Go back to your family Lance. Get a divorce or go live happily ever after with your wife, but leave me alone. Stay out of my life.
L: I canāt do thatā¦
H: You will. Or Iāll be forced to get a restraining order. I donāt want to see you Lance. I want you to stay the hell away from me. Today, tomorrow, next month, next year⦠Just stay awayā¦
Lancce was in the shower and his phone kept going off. I ignored it the first 5 times, I didnāt want to invade his privacy. And then it kept going off a few more times and I worried it was something important. Maybe someone in his family was sick. My mind wondered about all the possibilities in emergency and urgency, that I didnāt want him to ignore or miss. Finally about the 12th buzz I walked over to his phone and looked down to see a long text. This was no ordinary text... It read, āHey itās your wife! Remember me? I know youāre traveling for work but the kids miss you. I miss you. You havenāt been home religiously in months and they were just wondering when their daddy will be home for good?ā¦.ā fromĀ āthe wifeā. Instantly, my heart sank, what have I done? He has a wife and children?! Instantly, I panicked. I paced the room. I was heartbroken and angry all at the same time. I loved this man so much and he had a wife this whole time... How could he? What was his thought process? What could he possibly say to try to cover this up.Ā āPrepare for liesā I told myself because obviously I had to confront him. Or would he be a complete psychopath and admit to it all and shrug it off like so what? For the first time in my life I wanted to be lied to. I wanted him to try to lie to me at least and then maybe get the truth behind it all. I laid in bed with this man too many times to even count I donāt want to take the harsh pill, that I laid with a psychopath. I sat down for a few minutes and tried to grasp my mind over everything I just learned and how I was going to confront him. I could hear him on top of the deck now and all I could think about was how to calmly address the situation.... But lets be real... Thereās no easy way to ask a married man why he cheated on his wife with you and why he didnāt tell you...Ā

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Later that night Lane came back from work. He immediate walked up the to the top deck and didn't say a word. He looked at me intensely and then he spoke, āI love you Hazelā. I turned toward him āWhat?ā I asked quickly. I was in shock... I was contemplating if I was doing the right thing and if being here was real and sincere and then he comes up here talking like this and just then I tried to speak out again, to confirm that I had heard him right. āWait, Wh-ā Just then I was interrupted by a firm and intense kiss. It was passionate and it was firm and somewhat aggressive. And thatās when I let my feet fall. I was in love with this man. I was in love with every kiss, every touch, every word, every late night, every wrinkle he makes on his forehead when he laugh. It all. Iāll take it all in. I let the kiss go and he looked in my eyes staying silent. āI love you too Lanceā. He let out a laugh and hugged onto me tightly and pulled out and looked at me once more before lifting me tot he bedroom.
I spend my days and nights on this boat decked with Lance. The days are amazing, but when the sun starts to set my world goes colorless. The color in my life fades quicker and quicker. The darker it gets, the more I think. I have so many reservations about Lance but in the moment, when we make love, I canāt hear anything bad, all my doubts, all my reservation vanish. I think Iām falling in love with him and that scares me too... It scares me that Iām falling under and if something bad surfaces I wont see it. Iāve barely been to my own home because Iāve been so captivated on this man... But behind all these reservations when were together laughing, all the doubts jump out the window. He gets me like no man has ever.... And that is the scariest part of it all....
Six months passed and I felt like my life could not get any better. We spent hours and days on that boat together. I felt like I was floating on a dream cloud. When I was with him, I felt⦠different. Growing up I was in foster care, I was 12 before I was actually adopted. I was taken away from a toxic family that were addicted to drugs but I got stuck in the system, the system you never want to be stuck inā¦foster care. And though in foster care, I was not some horror story. I wasnāt abused or mistreated, I just⦠I never felt like I belonged. I was just another pay check and mouth to feed for most of the homes I was in until I was adopted but this man⦠This man gave all those depressive years meaning. He made me feel like I went through all the sadness and depression of not being loved for this moment⦠The moment that I wake up in this mans arms.
But on the other hand, there was always this very small part of me that had questions. But that same part of me was afraid to know those answers. Like why does he never have a phone and does he have a home thatās on land? And if he doesnāt, why? Heās a doctor and could afford so much more. And if he does have a home, why havenāt I seen it? Why hasnāt he brought me there? And what was his long term intentions? Am I just a fling to him? What does he want with me? What are we? Am I his girlfriend? Just a friend or companion? Is he just lonely?He knows so much about me, but we never talk about himā¦Why? Why is he so mysterious? What is he hiding? And is it worth knowing?...
Iām not a monster Hazel
I-I know
Let me show you the man I am
Oh-kay
āAnd thatās when everything changed. The kiss on the deck. The wind blowing my hair, his breath so close I could feel each warm breath he exhaled, and our lips met.... Really met. It was captivating,intoxicating...Like a drug I couldnāt stop...ā
Hazels storms upstairs to realize shes on a decked boat.
āLance!ā
āYouāre awake! Good. Drink something youāre gonna feel it today.ā
Lance hands Hazel a water bottle and Hazel slaps it out of his hands to the floor
āWhoa! What the problem Hazel?!ā
āAre you kidding me?! You slept with a drunk girl?ā
āIt wasnāt like thatā
āOh okay, how was it then Lance? You took advantage of a drunk vulnerable girl! You are really a doctor right?
āYes of course!ā
āWhat if I had a medical condition? Something that would cause severe damage if I had sex?ā
āthen you shouldnāt have been drinking eitherā¦.ā
āOH! SO ITS MY FAULT FOR DRINKING? SINCE WHEN DOES THAT SCREAM TAKE ME TO YOUR BOAT WHEN OBLITERATED?!ā
āAbsolutely not! Hazel⦠Please let me talk. Okay?ā
āFineā
Hazel falls to her knees crying. Lance bends down to her so they are face to face and takes in a deep breath.
āDo you have a medical condition Hazel?ā
āNo.ā
Hazel answers Lances question avoiding eye contact, tears streaming down her face and wiping away tears.
āHazel, I did not go into that bar to get laid. I did not take advantage of a situation. Iām not that kind of man. I was drunk too. Iām not a bad man. I save lives on a daily basis. I help woman who get rapped. Iām not that person⦠Iām pretty sure we slept together, but I canāt say that for sure. You asked if you could come with me because you were too drunk to drive. We came to my boat and we both kept drinking. Things happened⦠Things that Iām not proud of. But no one took advantage of anywhere on this boat. I just wanted to keep you safe. I didnāt even sleep on the bed. I woke up, up here. Hazelā¦ā
āIām-Iām sorry. I just freaked out.ā
I get it. Can we start over?
Hazel stands up and nods with a slight smile, out reaching her hand to Lances
āHello, my name is Hazel Everson and I donāt usually meet men in my pantiesā
Both laugh
āIām Lance Montgomery. Iām a doctor and this is my boat. And I never bring woman here on our first date.
āWell Iām honored.ā

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The next morning I woke up and sat up quickly.Ā āwhat happened last night?ā I asked myself out loud as I sat up holding my migraine.Ā āWait....ā I looked around.Ā āwhere the hell am I?ā I looked down....Ā āDamn it!āĀ
Meanwhile still at the bar...
After 6 or more drinks, plenty of chatting, jokes and laughs, I realized Lance was at that bar for the same reasons I was. We had so much in common. We both grew up in foster care, even in the same town. Such a small world when you live on an Island. Everyone knows everyone. But How did I not know this man? He wasĀ ātall dark and handsomeā. Damn was he handsome... āHold your ground, stay stubborn and donāt show weakness.ā He was cute, I cannot deny that. His laugh... His sense of humor was driving me in, but damn If Iāll let him see it. But he was captivating and with every drink I took, I was more and more interested. We were both at the bar for the same reason. Ironic? Probably. But he told me so much about himself. He was feeling lost in this world, every relationship he has turns to fire. Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so too. I told him about my relationships... Iāve had three serious ones... They all cheated.Ā āIām married to my career.ā I told him. He laughed. It seemed almost perfect. He was married to his. Doctor... Surgeon... Of course you are. I joked and that when our eyes mean and drink six turned to 12 and I donāt even know how I got home...