Ultimate Simmers

Lance laughs, “she really is though” he says to himself.

For the first time since I moved, I decided to go for a walk. I hadn’t had a chance to enjoy the view of the water. I walk only walking the lake for a few minutes when I heard a sound following behind me, to my surprise, Lance stood behind me, I turned around slowly. “Hazel I” he said and stopped mid sentence when he looked at me. “Hazel….Oh my…Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” I took in a deep breath. “I think I’ve caused your family enough pain, don’t you?” I said irritated. “Hazel, it’s my baby isn’t it?” he asked carefully. “That’s a really stupid question Lance. Of course, he’s yours….” Lance started to tear up. “It-it’s my boy?” I tried not to smile but it was the first time I had really got to talk about the baby. And I know I shouldn’t be, but I was excited that he was excited for the baby. I smiled from ear to ear. “His name is Elli…. that’s what I’ve been calling him…” Lance whipped tears from his face. “That’s a beautiful name… Hazel how far along are you?” he asked. “Almost 23 weeks…. Lance…. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just… I didn’t know what to do or say. Or how? Do I show up at your house with your other family? Do I call your phone and hope your wife doesn’t answer?” I asked sarcastically. He took in a deep breath, “I know I put you in an impossible situation… but I can’t change it, all I can do is try to make the circumstances better. I know that I went about this all so wrong but I’m trying to make everything right.” he tried to explain. “I-I don’t know what that mean and I’m not really sure if I want to, but I guess only time will tell.” I said. “I guess so,” he agreed.

Lance, texted me a few hours later. I didn’t even know what to say. He says Allison is unstable. And maybe she is, maybe shes not but her husbands been cheating on her for months of course her rational thinking is a little clouded. And I’m trying not to blame myself for this families falling apart, but how could I not? I didn’t know about the, but when I take a step back and look I feel even more guilty for not noticing all the signs, how could I have been so stupid? How did I not ever really care about his house. Hes a doctor for crying out loud, how did I not think that was weird? But at the end of the day...none of that matters. It doesn’t matter at all. all the little signs I missed won’t fix whats broken and it won’t give me courage, or love. It won’t make his wife not exist.... It won’t change a thing...

She came storming out of the house and it took me a minute to realize she was coming right at me, right when I was about to restart my car she aggressively knocked on my window. “What the hell! You followed me? Who the hell are you?” I rolled down my window slow and only half way and took in a deep breath before I spit out the words. “You’re really Allison Mongomery?” She looked at me in disbelief. “Yeah! Who are you? Do I know you? Does my husband know you?” When she said the word husband my skin started to crawl, I hated those words… “I have kids inside! can we speed this up! Why are you here?!” she yelled in a hurry. “Okay…” I said calmly taking in another deep breath. “This is gonna sound crazy. And you’re probably not gonna believe me. I promise I’m not here to hurt anyone. I was just…curious I guess… I don’t know,” I explained and she waved her arm impatiently, gesturing for me to hurry up and finish explaining. “I’m going to get out the vehicle. Please don’t hit me.” I slowly got out and she steeped back staring at me. As soon as I shut the door and turned towards her I began to explain. “My name is Hazel. I just moved here to get away from my life there. I stumbled into that store to buy a few things because my stuff won’t be here for a few days. I didn’t know you lived in this town or I wouldn’t have moved her, I swear….” She got angry again, “that still doesn’t explain how you know me! Or how you knew me before you even moved here!” she shouted once again. “Allison, i know your husband. I knew him Hawaii and we had an affair.” I took a step back to avoid being attacked. “We were together for 6 months, until a week ago I found about you and I immediately ended it.” Allison stayed silent staring at the ground for a minute as we both stayed silent. She lifted her hand like she was about to say something but no words came out. She then lowered her hand and immediately covered her mouth and tears filled her eyes. “Please leave. Please go Hazel. Thank you for the information….” She then turned around and walked back into her home quickly. I knew there had to be more to all… She was so upset… And I’m sure she has questions for me but her mind is not wright at this point. I put my name and phone number on a paper and slipped it in her mailbox. I felt so guilty. She was distraught… What did I do…

I stayed about two cars behind and she drove and drove and drove. Almost 30 minutes away and she pulled down a dirt road. And that’s when it hit me. Crap… she knows I’m following her… she got out if her car at a very nice house. When she got out two little girls and a large dog greeted her. I watched them all go inside as I tried to get up the courage to knock on their front door.

As I went on throughout the store and shopped, I felt entirely fine until I got to the checkout about two customers in front of me stood a woman. A very tall, beautiful blonde haired woman. The word she spoke the cashier instantly made my skin crawl. “No lance Montgomery is my husband, my name is Allison. It’s my husbands card”. I was mortified. Could this really be happening? We are separated by two people in a very large store. In somewhat of a large town and his wife? His wife and I are were not only in the same town, but same store but same checkout line? This couldn’t be happening. So what did I do you ask? I did what any same person would do. I left my cart and got the hell out of there and went to my car and cried. Why, you ask? Because I was overwhelmed. I threw my head into the sitting wheel and cried. After sitting in my car for nearly 10 minutes I heard a tap on my window. I look up and. Who is it? Its her. I took a big deep breath and slowly rolled my window down....

I know what I need to do... I need to move...

H: You will. Or I’ll be forced to get a restraining order. I don’t want to see you Lance. I want you to stay the hell away from me. Today, tomorrow, next month, next year… Just stay away…

Lancce was in the shower and his phone kept going off. I ignored it the first 5 times, I didn’t want to invade his privacy. And then it kept going off a few more times and I worried it was something important. Maybe someone in his family was sick. My mind wondered about all the possibilities in emergency and urgency, that I didn’t want him to ignore or miss. Finally about the 12th buzz I walked over to his phone and looked down to see a long text. This was no ordinary text... It read, “Hey it’s your wife! Remember me? I know you’re traveling for work but the kids miss you. I miss you. You haven’t been home religiously in months and they were just wondering when their daddy will be home for good?….” from “the wife”. Instantly, my heart sank, what have I done? He has a wife and children?! Instantly, I panicked. I paced the room. I was heartbroken and angry all at the same time. I loved this man so much and he had a wife this whole time... How could he? What was his thought process? What could he possibly say to try to cover this up. “Prepare for lies” I told myself because obviously I had to confront him. Or would he be a complete psychopath and admit to it all and shrug it off like so what? For the first time in my life I wanted to be lied to. I wanted him to try to lie to me at least and then maybe get the truth behind it all. I laid in bed with this man too many times to even count I don’t want to take the harsh pill, that I laid with a psychopath. I sat down for a few minutes and tried to grasp my mind over everything I just learned and how I was going to confront him. I could hear him on top of the deck now and all I could think about was how to calmly address the situation.... But lets be real... There’s no easy way to ask a married man why he cheated on his wife with you and why he didn’t tell you... 

Later that night Lane came back from work. He immediate walked up the to the top deck and didn't say a word. He looked at me intensely and then he spoke, “I love you Hazel”. I turned toward him “What?” I asked quickly. I was in shock... I was contemplating if I was doing the right thing and if being here was real and sincere and then he comes up here talking like this and just then I tried to speak out again, to confirm that I had heard him right. “Wait, Wh-” Just then I was interrupted by a firm and intense kiss. It was passionate and it was firm and somewhat aggressive. And that’s when I let my feet fall. I was in love with this man. I was in love with every kiss, every touch, every word, every late night, every wrinkle he makes on his forehead when he laugh. It all. I’ll take it all in. I let the kiss go and he looked in my eyes staying silent. “I love you too Lance”. He let out a laugh and hugged onto me tightly and pulled out and looked at me once more before lifting me tot he bedroom.

I spend my days and nights on this boat decked with Lance. The days are amazing, but when the sun starts to set my world goes colorless. The color in my life fades quicker and quicker. The darker it gets, the more I think. I have so many reservations about Lance but in the moment, when we make love, I can’t hear anything bad, all my doubts, all my reservation vanish. I think I’m falling in love with him and that scares me too... It scares me that I’m falling under and if something bad surfaces I wont see it. I’ve barely been to my own home because I’ve been so captivated on this man... But behind all these reservations when were together laughing, all the doubts jump out the window. He gets me like no man has ever.... And that is the scariest part of it all....

But on the other hand, there was always this very small part of me that had questions. But that same part of me was afraid to know those answers. Like why does he never have a phone and does he have a home that’s on land? And if he doesn’t, why? He’s a doctor and could afford so much more. And if he does have a home, why haven’t I seen it? Why hasn’t he brought me there? And what was his long term intentions? Am I just a fling to him? What does he want with me? What are we? Am I his girlfriend? Just a friend or companion? Is he just lonely?He knows so much about me, but we never talk about him…Why? Why is he so mysterious? What is he hiding? And is it worth knowing?...

“And that’s when everything changed. The kiss on the deck. The wind blowing my hair, his breath so close I could feel each warm breath he exhaled, and our lips met.... Really met. It was captivating,intoxicating...Like a drug I couldn’t stop...”

“Well I’m honored.”

The next morning I woke up and sat up quickly. “what happened last night?” I asked myself out loud as I sat up holding my migraine. “Wait....” I looked around. “where the hell am I?” I looked down.... “Damn it!” 

After 6 or more drinks, plenty of chatting, jokes and laughs, I realized Lance was at that bar for the same reasons I was. We had so much in common. We both grew up in foster care, even in the same town. Such a small world when you live on an Island. Everyone knows everyone. But How did I not know this man? He was “tall dark and handsome”. Damn was he handsome... “Hold your ground, stay stubborn and don’t show weakness.” He was cute, I cannot deny that. His laugh... His sense of humor was driving me in, but damn If I’ll let him see it. But he was captivating and with every drink I took, I was more and more interested. We were both at the bar for the same reason. Ironic? Probably. But he told me so much about himself. He was feeling lost in this world, every relationship he has turns to fire. Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so too. I told him about my relationships... I’ve had three serious ones... They all cheated. “I’m married to my career.” I told him. He laughed. It seemed almost perfect. He was married to his. Doctor... Surgeon... Of course you are. I joked and that when our eyes mean and drink six turned to 12 and I don’t even know how I got home...