5:52 just got home from a house party made myself take the earliest morning bus from literally across the city to prove to myself that it’s fine and that i’m competent enough and that no one will kill me. making myself be stupidly brave

retrospectively this is so funny i became so reckless

it’s so fun when you feel like you’re living on borrowed time and when you get to the age you never thought you’d live past because all of the sudden free will exists but also you’re drowning it it

she had no idea the next year and a half would be even worse lol

that part of sleep deprivation that's like I could continue to do this for at least 3000 years easy

this is what happens when you ban normal porn

do you move to a brand new city and teach yourself how to die? have you moved to a brand new city and taught yourself how to die? will you move to a brand new city and teach yourself how to die? when will you move to a brand new city and teach yourself how to die?

this man holds me to such high standards for some reason and regards me as insanely capable and charming and whatever and also for some reason is so insecure around me and compared to the way i treat other people i’m being so gentle and sweet to him and somehow he still acts as though i’m some terrifying creature he has to appease i’m going insane

we had a talk about this a month later and i’m not sure whether it changed anything but at least we addressed it

a night out at the club can have a three act structure

and BTW im not alive

STOP SCATTERING MY ASHES IM STILL ALIVE