I swear I'm not a porn bot

they wont take me to the beach or river anymore because i keep organizing all the shells and rocks by species and type

"why do you want to gossip with the girls?" why do i want to learn from the poets, the writers, the thinkers, the scientists, the mathematicians, the intuitive, and the philosophers? is that what you're asking me?

I think it would be really wonderful if seagulls were constructed more like bottles with a mystery inside. What I'm imagining is that were you to catch one, you could then unscrew its face and there would be a glowing gem nestled in some sort of socket. The Core of the Gull so to speak. Then you could swap that around with other seagulls, and after screwing the faces back on they would fly off as if nothing happened. Hm... Is this too esoteric, or do some of you see what I am getting at?

Im weighing in on the discourse. We need to start putting sea monsters on maps again.

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

when it wasn't meant to be 🤣🤣 but the potential of possibility still plagues you 🤔

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

Yahhh I have to build Rome. Yup it’s due tomorrow.. noo I haven’t started yet haha is that bad?

today i rang up a customer at work for $13.36 and i said with such genuine cheer "uh-oh! two years before the plague hit England, if anyone cares!" and i watched the customer's eyes as they were clearly taken aback and then tried to pretend to be interested at all. they made such a valiant effort. they were like I don't wanna damper this guy's plague enthusiasm. They said, very awkwardly, "haha, uh-oh!"

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

the sexual tension between me and the bug crawling on the ceiling above me

ohh i get it now (doesn’t)