Idk

I wasn't the one who sought to dance in the rain. I never shut my eyes to feel the fall brush my skin. Perhaps the impression of companionship it reflected was stronger than what the romantic movies and novels were telling me to do. Perhaps it echoed the secrets I wasn't ready to share or accept. Perhaps it was everything at once but nothing at the same time.

Standing alone in the dead of night could scare you. But it feels like home to my heart. And in case the drops come out of my eyes, I let them stroll with the downpour. Though the malady in my heart may never leave, when it rains somehow a sapling rises from the wasteland.

And with that,

My isolation is curbed.

And the vacancy is filled.

And I feel less lonely.

It's like a drug you never knew you needed. Somehow propelling you to feel a little less heavy.

The rain was never my lover but a friend.

When my first love came, he named me after his revered flower, daisy.

Hold tight, he always said. For I was the gemstone, in his grassland full of ivy.

But he unbound the grip, in the arrival of the storm; and he watched me get plucked by the hands of spring.

So now,

With every fall , each petal of mine becomes the fallout of a catastrophe.

And with every hard frost, there thrives a fresh bud. But in my place, there grow, only tulips

---------------------

For its been ages,

Since my skin collapsed,

And clung to your warmth.

But my heart still whispers,

The stories of you and I,

Reminiscing the grey songs,

That your heartbeat sang

I love coffee but I’m having a mango smoothie at the moment. I like to read poetry but I’m also a fan of marvel comics. I hate numbers but I’m studying maths, physics and chemistry. Maybe I’ll teach. Maybe I’ll be a lawyer. Maybe I’ll end up doing something entirely different. I don’t know.

What I do know is this: it pisses me off that society pushes us to pick a role, slap it on like a mask, and stick with it for life. It’s like they want you to stay in one lane forever, and I can’t stand it.

I’ve got no love for society, but I like my life, even with all its twisted turns. I’ve made peace with what I can’t fix, who I’ll never be, and the stuff I’ll never outrun. Part of me will always wear a mask, and that’s just how it is—I’ve got to survive. But beneath all the layers of bullshit, my life can still be something good, if I decide to make it that way.

Because they carry the same pain that we do. They fight the same battles that we do. And they’ve the same scar as us.

So love them, whenever they share their scars. For it is to remind us, that we aren't the only one who's falling apart.

Whoever here is in pain, I love you. I know it's not easy but let's not be terrified of our ghosts anymore.

It’s raining here..

And I can’t help but wonder,

Why..at times,

I loves it so endlessly

Unlike others.

Is it because,

Of the storm it inflicts

On my barren skin?

To ease the scarred,

To calm the mourning heart?

Or is it because,

It lends fresh tears

To the weary eyes;

And sits with us in the dark

To withstand the night?

Perhaps I would never know,

But I love the rain.

For it looks past my “I’m fine”

And make me feel..

Like I’m not the only ones,

“ is this real? Do I deserve this? uhm no, probably not”

I just want to believe that I deserve good things; that maybe, I can have nice things in life too. Be it a good cup of coffee I want to feel like “yeah it's been a long day I deserve this fucking coffee”