hashbrown, no filter

In case you’ve been anxiously awaiting the news, the #Ballie wedding now has an official date. For anyone who would like to take place in the festivities or who would just like to see Kurt and I become official siblings, please mark your calendars for February 20th.  

I wrote it down, so I can remember to congratulate you on gaining a brother. Since it’s after Valentine’s day, I will totally offer to share my discounted candy with you to celebrate.

Well, it’s official. I sent in my audition tapes and application for the Juilliard pre-college summer program for this upcoming summer. I know I’m going to get in. I can feel it.

Congrats! I’m sure you will get it. How long until you know for sure?

No sign of Pancakes. I think it’s time I gave up.

Don’t give up. You could still find him. 

No news, but it’s not good news. It’s my own stupid fault for letting him out of his cage when the door was open.

It was an accident. It could have happened to anyone. I still have high hopes that someone’s going to find him and he’ll be home again soon.

Pancakes is missing.

I’m ready for another shift of looking for the little guy, unless you have some good news? I’m really hoping that you do. I’m so sorry that this happened.

At least we know that we have friends in our particular annoying levels. It makes being annoying a little less sucky. Nope, the people in the Uglies series were fearless. I mean, they all accepted the fact that they were one day going to get major reconstructive plastic surgery, so I guess that makes a little upside down cruising seem like nothing.

It definitely does help me feel a little better. For the record, I don’t think you’re annoying at all. I don’t even know what to say about that world. It sounds expensive and sort of like a nightmare. Did they rise up and overthrow the leaders to put an end to that?

I feel the same way about myself but the fact that I have, like, four friends proves that I can’t be that annoying. Scott Westerfeld is an author; he didn’t make a hoverboard, that I know of at least, but that’s how they worked in his science fiction series. They found this old abandoned roller coaster and used it as a ride on their boards. Which would be totally cool if I weren’t terrified of heights.

That’s about the same number that I have, so maybe we’re the same on the annoying scale. Wow that sounds...terrifying, to be honest. I hope they added guard rails. But I think just making it down the aisle would be enough for me.

Well, yourself is the only person who you will literally spend eternity with, so it’s pretty easy to get annoyed at yourself. How about we just follow the path set by Scott Westerfeld and make our own hoverboard specifically for your wedding? We can line the aisle with high powered magnets and line your board with magnets of the opposite polarity and you’ll be gliding right along.

You can say that again. I annoy myself all the time. I’m not sure who that is, but if he made a hoverboard, then I am all for it. I am surrounded by science geniuses. I’m lucky to have you all to make my crazy dreams come true.

I’m sure that you would do the same for any of us. You’re literally talking the dream right now. Would yours feature the Ghostbusters car?

You’re right, I would. I think it’s easier to see all the amazing things about other people and not see many in yourself, no matter how sad that sounds. I’ve never thought about it, honestly, but now that you mention it, that would be perfect. Or maybe they’ll have invented real hoverboards by then, and I can ride in one one of those. I don’t know that it’s likely for me to find a wife who shares my vision of the big day.

That’s a wise choice because I can be very determined when it comes to defending my friends, even if it’s to themselves. Do you know what would be amazing? A Shell Cottage-Harry Potter themed wedding. I think I would actually pick the beach over Harry Potter, if I had to choose one.

I love that about you, even when it has me surrendering. Harry Potter at the beach. You wouldn’t have to choose at all then. It could be like a Hogwarts field trip with extra sand castles. I like it.

There is no bribing going on here, just people embracing the world of truth. You should look at the Harry Potter weddings that people have had on Pinterest. It would be so amazing. There could be butterbeer and I would even be excited about the chocolate frogs.

I still think you’re mistaken, but I’ll wave the white flag and say thank you. I’m going to dig up my old Pinterest account just so I can take a look at all these lucky people with their good ideas. At least you’ll have a place to point Kurt when he needs to plan yours all out.

We’ll call in Cass and Kurt to join us too, don’t tempt me. The Tyson defense squad doesn’t mess around in cases like this. Yes but I think he says that just because he wouldn’t trust me to plan my own. He barely trusts me to let me dress myself. He’ll have to learn some Harry Potter facts before he even makes the attempt.

It sounds like there would be some bribing involved to grow this squad. A Harry Potter wedding sounds all kinds of awesome. I can just imagine everyone representing their house, and all coming together to celebrate you and your wedding. Just imagine the food that you could have. 

You can claim that title every single day, honestly. I would recommend not arguing the point because there’s, like, a 100% chance that I’ll ask Elise for her opinion and we’ll make it two against one. He’s always dreamed of getting to plan a wedding and I think he’s loving it. Apparently it’s practice for when he gets to plan mine but I think I’m good living the spinster life. Don’t tell Ms. Jorkins.

More like you two against the rest of the world who would disagree with that. I love you guys with your obvious bias. He doesn’t dream of planning his own? Not that I agree that you’ll be a spinster. You could definitely have the perfectly planned wedding if you ever change your mind.

No one will even assume that you’re the cute guy in my music video; they’ll just walk right by you in the movie theater and you can watch your movies in peace. She is not but that’s because Kurt has volunteered to plan the entire thing, so he’s the one stressing out.

I don’t know that I can claim the title of cute guy even with the magic of music videos behind me, but I’m glad I’ll have my movie watching privacy still in tact. Poor Kurt. I imagine he’ll do amazing at it though. Hopefully you can keep him from losing his head too much during the whole process.

We’ll get you one of those fake mustache glasses, which will totally fool people into thinking you’re someone else. Allie is pretty amazing.

Perfect. I’ll be a whole new person, and honestly, who would want to talk to a strange person wearing Groucho Marx glasses? I’m hoping hte answer is no one. She sure does seem that way. Is she stressing about wedding planning?

Every one in the world will know your face. Allie won’t have time for Ms. Jorkins. She’s scary when anyone implies bad things about me. 

It sounds more terrifying when you say it that way. I’m going to need a disguise, since I did not think this all the way through. That’s pretty awesome if you ask me.