characters who are undead. characters who die in the end and so they've been dead from the start. characters who are chased by death. characters that chase death. characters who died and came back to life. characters that die again and again and again. characters who consider their past self dead. characters who were born in someone else's corpse. characters that claw their way out of the grave. characters whose deaths leave such a gaping wound that even their absence is still a presence. characters who are emissaries of death. characters who are alive but consider themselves dead. characters whose deaths are ambiguous. characters whose existences are defined by death.

can’t sleep, I’m thinking about my WIP and my specific affinity for stories in which the world is not or cannot be saved, and in which shouldering the duty to save the world can itself become the very force that assures its destruction.

at what point may the hero say that he has succeeded at “saving the world”? at what point is he free to lay that burden down and relinquish responsibility for its salvation? what does he do when it cannot be saved forever, or perfectly? has he saved the world when an existential threat has been vanquished, or when injustice has been corrected, or when utopia has been established? how much power may he attain before his efforts to save the world cease to be heroic and become tyrannical?

say that the hero takes up the sword of justice and sets out to vanquish evil, only to find that new evils generate themselves at every turn, forever. when is he permitted to give up—before or after his capacity to correct them is exhausted? is the hero who sheathes his sword and permits evil and injustice to flourish more or less flawed than the hero who never puts his sword away?

I like enemies to lovers in theory but I could never. I would wake up in the middle of the night with them sleeping peacefully next to me and then bonk them on the head like “fuck you again for what you did to me on April 17th of 2017.”

How many times can the same thing break your heart?

As long as you love it.

“as long as you love it” this really hit me

i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good

i love characters who are always like fear not, i shall take care of this problem for you….. by sacrificing myself!! and everyone else is like i swear to god if you pull this shit again i’ll kill you

obsessed with the concept of being haunted by yourself

maybe you were someone you hate now, and that person remains a cold hand on your shoulder that says you do not deserve this. perhaps you had to destroy yourself and become someone else to escape something worse - but now they hang over you like a shroud. you abandoned me. everyone did, but you - you were all i had. and you left me to rot. maybe the life you could have had was taken from you - and isn't that a death of sorts? - and now it shadows your every step. you keep moving further away, but it follows. there's a ghost after you, and it wears a frighteningly familiar face.

You've been here before, haven't you? Not this specific here, no, nor this specific you. That soul of yours is old, little Star, weathered and scarred but strong as ever. Your place in the cycle is inevitable, as always.

in the end, of course I forgave him. how could I do anything else? he is the other half of my soul, the very breath in my lungs, the gentle spirals in my fingertips, the pulse of blood in my chest.