Two Penguins Thinking About Fanfic

This made me smile. Maybe you need a smile today too.

Easily the most annoying kind of vampire in the world are the ones where you finally corner the fuckers and when you're going in with the stake they start spouting off sociology 101 bullshit to try and weasel out of it. "Oh, no ethical consumption under capitalism," "oh, the rich are the real vampires if you think about it-" yeah, yeah, you ate like fifty homeless people, asshole. Hold still

Okay but if you aren't a vegetarian your case against vampires is actually pretty weak.

I SAID HOLD STILL

This government sucks so bad, I’m going to [remembers the Sundered Houses are trying to seize greater control and censor the people] put on the best play this world has ever seen