Innocently Corrupted. @twistedgem - Tumblr Blog

honestly missionaries are evil. the idea of traveling the world to tell people Who Didnt Fucking Ask that their beliefs are wrong in the hopes that theyll adopt your beliefs seems sinister

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cristalwayfinders

pr1nceshawn

The Best ATM Withdrawal Defense

alexanders-archives

I’m here for women with powerful dogs!

urocyonfox-deactivated20210104

My land lady is a 90lb 88 year old woman with 5 full grown Rottweiler boys. They sit around her when she gardens and watch her like the secret service. If you show up to pay rent they all stand up and stand between you and her.

It’s intimidating to have 5 pony size boys all staring at you until she stands up realizes it’a you and walks to you.

My favorite part is she wades through them like swamp water saying in her cute old voice ‘move’ ‘move please’ and each one she nudges to move wags his whole body at her touch and stumbles out of the way like he’s been knocked over by a truck. It gives me life paying my rent.

skammmed-deactivated20170310

fun fact: my parents got married on april fools day so when i was 7 i tried to be funny and i made them an anniversary card that said ‘your marriage is a joke’ and my mom cried

mpdqueer

me, logging onto tumblr.com: what’s the tea today

tumblr: user cummy—eyelids has purchased a child’s skeleton for 30$ at a flea market and refuses to admit how massively unethical this is

me, logging off tumblr.com:

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pumpkinsforsale

Casting director: we need the voice of pikachu to be a recognized name. It’s going to be tough to find a respectable actor wh

Ryan Reynolds: ME

Ryan Reynolds: I’LL DO IT

Ryan Reynolds: PIKA PIKA MOTHER FUCKER

catsofinstagram

ya-wn

please for the love of god turn ur sound on

robotlyra

Baby boomer goals: home ownership, 2.5 kids, dream vacations to florida/hawaii

Millenial goals: having any money left after bills, an apartment without roommates, dying quickly and painlessly in the initial nuclear exchange to avoid witnessing the collapse of humanity

ferociouslittlebrat

Accurate

dahliaborne

i want a fragrance made from roses, stardust, honey and siren tears

glitterandgrunge

Millennials and Gen Z: Trump shows signs of being a genocidal dictator, we shouldn’t vote for him

Baby boomers: OOOOO Is your Safe Space being violated by his comments snowflake??? How AWFUL IT must be to have a REAL man for president instead of OoOoBamA

Trump, after being voted into office: *leaves the UN human rights council, puts hundreds of young children into prison camps and tent cities, takes away valuable items like rosaries similar to the removal of rings during the Holocaust, puts babies and toddlers into foster homes/orphanages, literally treats ACTUAL CHILDREN like prisoners for wanting a better life elsewhere*

Baby boomers: oh….oh no….

Millennials and Gen Z: *stare into the camera like they’re on the office*

bluepsi

bold of you to assume the boomers have reached the “oh no” point

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icecreamsandwichcomics

aimless efforts

niggazinmoscow

Perfectly gay ❤️

guccixcucci

THAT CAPE IS EVERYTHING

chadgamer

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

lesbianredpanda

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

graybles

byrongraffiti

Iconic

klubbhead

*Popular post exists*

Gay pornbots:

uznxxkgrsy

Men, come here.

klubbhead

SHUT THE FUCK UP

larstenobar

i can’t believe u killed the pornbots

klubbhead

I shall be known as the pornbot slayer from now on

celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725

Thot Destroyer

klubbhead

BEGONE

BOT

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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