Twicomfy

Edward realistically had to throw up on his wedding day. what else can he do? he's up there on that bridal party table, center of attention, eating his first meal as a married man with his wife, plates are like $100000 per head so it's too suspicious to not eat, PLUS you know those wedding guests are doing some clinkety clink clink action on their glasses to get Edward & Bella to kiss like every 5 mins. never a moment's peace! it's all a constant ruse! & when all was said & done my man was probably up there in an airplane lavatory 30,000 feet in the air on his way to Rio just blowing chunks of chicken cordon bleu & wedding cake thinking it was still the best day of his life. fucking lol

Carlisle “i value life above all else” Cullen somehow also being Carlisle “yes my son who can’t control his desire for human blood goes to high school with innocent, vulnerable human children” Cullen is one of the funniest details in twilight

reading Twilight with a fully formed frontal lobe is a completely different experience

funniest thing ever was the sex scene in BD, you’re telling me a 110 year old virgin and an awkward blushing 18 year old had good sex…on their first try? edward was probably holding up 3 medical anatomy textbooks including his battered grey’s anatomy book trying to find the cl!t and dry sobbing every time he got it wrong

👀👀 not gonna name names but SOME of u are sweet and kind and deserve the world and i am rooting for u