The Bird and the Bastard AU.
What if John Constantine became Damians' weird adopted uncle?
John Constantine was travelling through hell when he found him, a child, a boys very soul being tortured. He didn't look more than twelve, and the kid took the torture with dry eyes and clenched teeth.
It makes John sick. He is so small, baby fat still on his cheeks. This kid is here for all eternity because he thinks he deserves it. There's few other ways for someone so young to end up here. Their guilt shackles them to the torment for all of eternity.
John wants to scream until the child feels his horror.
Until the boy realises this is wrong.
But he just stares back with dead eyes.
So John Constantine does what he has done a few times before and reaches out.
He wretches the soul out of the Demons grip and kills any who try to take it. The boy only blink up at him with green eyes.
Jon gets them away from the demons now in pursuit and pulls the soul into his arms gently, chanting an old spell in hopes that it will allow the boy to leave this awful place.
"Why?" John almost misses it. The question is so quiet it amongst the din.
"Why are you helping me?" The boy has an accent but speaks with no emotion.
"Because a kid doesn't deserve damnation, trust me. I've met some pretty shitty brats, but even they never deserved this."
"You are a child. Children don't deserve to suffer, ever."
"I've killed people!" The boy shouts.
John takes a breath and grabs the boys the shoulders.
"I died at ten years old." John winces, the soul was practically a baby.
"Most ten year olds don't kill because they like it. They do it because they dont have a choice, especially one that feels guilty about it."
"Who says I feel guilty?" The boys snaps.
John laughs, a hard and bitter thing. "Most people in hell are only here because of their own guilt and shame. That or they make a deal with a demon, and most ten year olds may not be able to do that."
The boy looks away, and John sighs, he clearly doesn't believe it. "How did you die?"
The boy hesitates. "Mother sent someone to kill me. I died protecting my brother and father."
"Shit, that's fucked up Mate, But it proves you don’t deserve to be here. People aren't just good or evil. There are some right old dickheads out there that deserve hell but not a child, never a child who should have been given the chance to change, especially not someone who died to protect their family. As a Dickhead myself I can tell you, you are too good for any of this."
The boy let's a few tears finally fall, but they are quickly wiped away. John doesn't hug him, can't really even if he wanted to.
He finishes the spell and releases the poor soul hoping he'll find some peace.
"You deserve more, I just know it." John says before wandering off.
Damian didn't expect to come back from the dead. Never dreamed his family would fight to bring him back. He was deemed a failure, nothing worth saving.
Knowing Father, Grandfather, his brothers, and sisters all tried to revive him feels surreal. He never would have predicted they would want him.
He still has nightmares, though. Where visions of flames and phantom torture keep him from truly resting.
But at the end of every bad dream, Damian is engulfed in soothing warmth and pulled from the pain. A rough voice with an English accent telling him he's good.
At first, he thought maybe he was hearing Pennyworth, but the accent and language were far different from what the butler uses.
Damian couldn't place the voice, so it made sense that it was just his imagination. The illusion was still comforting, so maybe he could allow himself this one childish flight of fancy.
He dare not mention it to his family. They don't even know he went to Hell.
So Damian goes about his days with memories of comfort he isn't sure are real. Until one day he goes to the Watchtower for a world ending crisis.
With every possible hero called in for the crisis, there are bound to be several personal dramas taking place at all times. Damian arrives to find some heroes who have taken exception to the suicide squad being here.
He watches in contempt at the hypocrites until they start hurling insults that he can't ignore anymore.
"They don't deserve redemption! They're monsters!"
Damian steps up before his brothers can hold him back. "I do not care what your personal beliefs are, but if someone wants to help. Let them help. No one here has the power to decide who is beyond redemption. Far be it for imbeciles such as yourself, to turn down what may save all of us."
And just as the heroes are about to scream at Robin or possibly physically attack him, a portal opens in the middle of the meeting room.
"Well said mate, Bats, you made a half decent kid, there."
Damian starts at the dishevelled man with a cigarette hanging from his mouth.
The man stops and raises a brow. "Me? Look, I dont know what you've heard, but I can-"
"You're real!" Damian is now having a minor crisis. His imaginary friend is a real-life man who needs a shower.
"Yes? You alright there, mate?" Batman is now staring while the other leaguers look on mystified.
Damian reaches out and hesitantly pokes the trench coat. "You got me out of hell."
John drops his cigarette. "Shite"
Damian hears his family gasp and question when exactly he was in hell, but he ignores it.
Damian tries to clear the lump that rises in his throat. "Thank you for saving me."
Constantine takes a breath as the other gawk at him. "No problem, Mate, but I am wondering how you came back to life."
Damian shrugs, "My family rescued me."
The warlock looks up at the gathered bats and nods like that explains everything.
Damian interrupts before John asks more questions. "I shall repay you one day."
It's John's turn to look surprised. "As much as I appreciate that, I don't accept favours from minors, repayment is a serious thing."
Robin glares. "I am not naive enough to not be held to my word."
John looks at the stubborn set of his shoulders. "No., can't have you involved with the likes of me, kid."
Robin looks like he is holding back a pout and stamping his foot. "I do not like to be in debt."
John sighs, "There is no debt, mate"
Robin does not look convinced, but Batman corrals his son before Constantine has to deal with him any further.
The crisis is averted, and the world is saved, yet it is only the beginning of John's Problems.
Robin pops up everywhere, demanding he be allowed to repay him. The little gremlin child has even convinced the house of mysteries to let him in. John doesn't even know how he did that.
And now the damn house prefers the kid to its owner!
Robin shows up during jobs, in the pub, John even finds him in the kitchen making waffles one day. (They were delicious, but John refused to give him the satisfaction.)
Robin just appears whenever John is in danger with a katanna and protects him like the worlds strangest dog.
After months of this and John literally running out of places to hide. (He suspects Zantanna is helping the little shit.) The hellblazer starts to begrudgingly accept the brats' presence.
He starts giving him talismans and protection sigil because if he insists on following, John is not explaining to Batman how he let his son die again.
Robin, who insists on sharing his real name which happens to be Damian Wayne is a good student, and John takes to throwing spell books at him once he catches him in the library a few too many times. God knows what he could find in there.
The brat becomes an adept magic user worringly fast.
Swamp thing now only talks to Damian and ignores John completely! The damn Green even builds Damian a conservatory in the house of mysteries, and John doesn't even know how they managed that!
Damian even starts replacing his cigarettes! And the house helps him! Every time John goes to light one, it turns into a stick of celery!
When angrily confronted, the boy shrugs and says his vow to repay his debt is only good if John is alive to see it.
Damian then shows him a slideshow on a healthy diet and lifestyle choices. The damn house doesn't even let him portal away!
The bats don't necessarily approve of their new friendship, John learns. He is threatened by the Nightwing of all people. John deescalated the situation when Damian came to his defence. He distracts the gremlin with a talking fish and portals a confused Nightwing away before Robin follows them.
They predictably end up in a pub, and after they get drunk together, John accidentally explains why Damian is so set on repaying him and he somehow has to deal with two bats pledging their loyalty to him now.
(Dick cries and doesn't let go of his baby for hours the next morning, whispering reassurance, love, and praise while Damian glares at a hungover John.)
At least Dick is a good drinking partner even if he joins Damian in breaking into his multidimensional house. They have their own rooms now!
Zantanna admits to helping them when she kidnaps Damian for a quick adventure in Dream right in front of John.
John starts training Damian seriously after a few Demons show up in Gotham. The bat twitches everytime Damian gets referred to as the apprentice by the Justice League Dark but Damian solves all of Gothams magic issues now so he doesn't complain that Constantine basically stole his son.
John tries to explain that it was very much the opposite, but no one will listen to him. But John, despite his best efforts, finds himself growing fond of the boy that has life in his eyes now, so different from when he first met him in hell.
For his birthday, Constantine even gets him a demon slaying sword with Jason Blood. The boy smiles as he unwraps it, and John feels almost glad.
It's hard not to feel close to someone when you have held their literal soul in your hands, no matter how many magic creatures the brat brings to the house of mysteries.
The boy decides to become a doctor and when old Batsy disapproves he moves in with John.
(John found out about his roommate a week after it happened. The house is ridiculously smug.)
Damian comes out to him unnecessarily at 16, and when he asks about John's own romantic history, it's a very awkward conversation.
Dick drags them to pride where all three wear the bi flags and paint on their faces.
He gets Damian his first piercing, his first drink, and introduces him to good grunge music.
So much to the suprise of John more than anyone else, he finds himself quite protective of his little hellion over the years.
And when the tiny super starts flirting with his almost, sort of nephew, John Constantine decides they need to have a chat.
It becomes more apparent when Damian saves his best friends life from a pissed off witch and they make out over it.
John could have lived a long life without seeing his apprentice playing tonsil tennis.
Jonathan Kent is a good lad, and John has no room to judge anybody romantic endeavours, but despite his best efforts, he cares about the boy that came back from hell and decided he could be redeemed.
The shovel talk is severely undercut when he goes to light a cigarette, and it turns into a carrot.
Luckily, the house is much more intimidating. Whenever Jon Kent comes to pick Damian up for a date, it leads him on a worldwide scavenger hunt.
It is funny to watch the bugger panic about being late, only to be thirty minutes early.
The first time Constantine finds Superman's spawn in his kitchen without a shirt he lights him on fire.
Damian's pissed but his boyfriend is fine, mostly.
The house finds it funny and lets him have a cigarette.
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