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aw mannnnn it’s been so long since i’ve been on here but i’ve just been thinking about tumblr a lot lately and the years i spent on this platform and how much has changed and like damn dudes!!! life is crazy lol. For pretty much the entire time i had it, this platform was my space to vent and really honestly probably helped keep me sane quite a bit. It’s kind of bittersweet to look through all the sad tags on my old posts, all my vent posts etc., like i was so fucking sad for so long, just in the grips of mental illness so badly and i had no idea! That’s the sad part, i think, is how long i suffered and how much i thought i deserved it because that’s just how mental illness works. But that was the journey that got me where i am now, laying on the couch in the beautiful little apartment i share with the love of my life, our two cats, and our best friend. I never thought i would make it here- I have what i yearned for for so long. The world can be so dark and hopeless, I think the trick is finding whatever makes everything feel a little lighter and holding onto that shit with all you got. I’m not discounting how genuinely god damn lucky i got though, my girlfriend is the best person i’ve ever known. I didn’t even know it was possible to feel so loved, and I get to wake up next to her every single day? I wanted to kill myself for so long. I felt so, so alone for so long. Sometimes this life shit turns out beautiful- it’s worth sticking around and making the most of it to see.