aini

This tumblr page is mostly private to myself but sometimes I get notifications of random pages leaving a like on my older posts from 2023-2024?? And then removing them immediately.. Who is lurking. Hello?

The ability to see yourself in another person, regardless of shared lived experience, is the highest form of connection between yourself and another. Everybody I’ve ever held close to my heart is a portrait of myself, a reflection of how I shaped them, and how they changed me. A connection like this has always felt like lightning in a bottle, I used to tear myself apart whenever I’d be left alone again, but I’ve learnt that these things are so unexpectedly fleeting. I’ve learnt to appreciate everything I have, while I still have it in the palm of my hand. One day it will slip through my fingers, when I least expect it.

this time i will be smarter, thank you for my pain

The concept of going clubbing sounds so ridiculously boring and uncomfortable to me. First you’re with company that you don’t even like, while they’re playing music that you don’t even listen to, in an outfit made of 300% polyester and you’re just there to get molested by any man in your vicinity. You drive a hard bargain but unfortunately I’d have to pass

thank you, i love you

specific kind of melancholy that emerges from dwelling on what once was. it's funny how pathways can connect and intersect but ultimately, they all take you somewhere different. don't dwell on it anymore.

shutting up about an emotion I harbor doesn't equate to formidable emotional regulation

the way I connect with people is abnormal, so why should the way I disconnect with people be normal?

Still in search of the sensitive and tender again

Everything twists the knife. Life is a disease

One of my good friends was a person that I was so in love with but I never felt brave enough to tell her all those years ago. I don’t know if that feeling still exists, we’re still good friends, but she’ll never know how I felt because I didn’t know how to express that feeling. I remember the day when I first laid my eyes on her and I felt a weight pressing on my heart. Such a weird, irreplaceable feeling. In that period, all the time that we spent on our own together felt so special. One thing that stuck out to me was the way she laughed, I always craved to hear it whenever I saw her face.