aini

Nothing good ever comes out of my want

They don’t know that when I stare at that picture I have tears running down my face and I am thinking about how cruel nature can be. And there’s nobody to point fingers at

Every man that I will meet in my life will be so delightfully dull at his core because my soul is only aligned with female companionship. I will always know where to find emotional fulfilment but I will never be sexually satisfied. I will have to live with this dissonance for as long as it matters to me, because this is my punishment for my greed and impatience.

i am at odds with my peers because i view them as infantile people who pretend to do adult things. whereas i am adult in nature, but i am solely confined to childish activities. i have had the mindset of a nihilist since the age of 12. ohhh you all irritate me

The ability to see yourself in another person, regardless of shared lived experience, is the highest form of connection between yourself and another. Everybody I’ve ever held close to my heart is a portrait of myself, a reflection of how I shaped them, and how they changed me. A connection like this has always felt like lightning in a bottle, I used to tear myself apart whenever I’d be left alone again, but I’ve learnt that these things are so unexpectedly fleeting. I’ve learnt to appreciate everything I have, while I still have it in the palm of my hand. One day it will slip through my fingers, when I least expect it.

this time i will be smarter, thank you for my pain

The concept of going clubbing sounds so ridiculously boring and uncomfortable to me. First you’re with company that you don’t even like, while they’re playing music that you don’t even listen to, in an outfit made of 300% polyester and you’re just there to get molested by any man in your vicinity. You drive a hard bargain but unfortunately I’d have to pass

thank you, i love you

specific kind of melancholy that emerges from dwelling on what once was. it's funny how pathways can connect and intersect but ultimately, they all take you somewhere different. don't dwell on it anymore.

shutting up about an emotion I harbor doesn't equate to formidable emotional regulation