𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋May

"It doesn't mean they're an only child, it means they're uneducated."

It is said that only children never learnt how to share because they never had to. But, if that is the case, then, how come Maya, who doesn't have any siblings or cousins her age to share things forcefully with, always asks at least three times when there's one last pizza slice or if people actually want to go wherever she proposed, but Lucinda, with the same background, never does so? I don't like to think and will not say Maya is better for caring about her acquaintances, but I have seen her give in more times than I've seen Lucinda think about it.

Maya never stays quiet, she is a pathological people pleaser, but that doesn't mean she doesn't know or physically can't stand up for herself or others during unfair times. However, when she was sitting on that terrace with Lucinda and her friend had the nerve to take the last chip Maya liked —because there were more chips, but she didn't like them —, from her own hand and ate it as she laughed, all she could do was stare. Stare with that disappointed look of hers, that one she would give to people who wouldn't listen, to airheads, to narcissists. 'Girl' was the only word she could manage to pronounce, Lucinda just kept laughing like she had just told the world's funniest joke.

Maya invited her friends to have dinner at her place, just like they usually did throughout the summer. Field parties, disco and karaoke nights, special local celebrations. The meeting point was always Maya's house, and she loved it, mostly because she had extra time to get ready. The perks of living in the center of town. She started the oven, put some pizzas inside for all seven of her friends and herself, and opened the bottles of Coke and sugar-free orange Fanta, the second she had bought it for Lucinda, but was willing to share it with her since nobody else drank said liquid at that party. Now, if she was going to give up her precious Dr. Pepper just to accompany Lucinda, it would be under her conditions, —wasn't the house hers? Didn't she pay for the drinks and pizzas? —zero sugar it had to be. Low on calories. She is trying to keep her eating disorder away, and that small measure of getting the bottle with the differently colored cap had been doing wonders all summer long. 'No sugar? Are you tryna kill me? That's disgusting!' Lucinda exclaimed as Maya took the bottle out of the fridge. She rolled her eyes. Lucinda then went to the supermarket in front of Maya's apartment and got something else for herself. Why would she bother getting something for her in the first place? And I'm not sure how everyone's parents have taught them, but mine made sure to let me know other people's houses are not all-you-can-eat buffets. Eight people take a seat around the table. Lucinda grabs the pizza tray and serves herself three slices. Veronica, Maya's best friend, looks at her with a face that screams 'what on earth is this girl doing'. Maya is embarrassed by her friend and it shows. She is embarrassed by her at least ninety percent of the times. She sighs and shrugs, showing Veronica her mutual discomfort.

'I am telling you, she was unbelievable tonight!' Maya screamed at the phone as she twisted her home key inside the lock. Ed was at the other side of the line, two hundred and thirty one miles away. 'We went to the movies and she was on her phone the whole time! Who does that?' 'That should be illegal' he replied, 'why even go if you're not even going to try and watch the film?' 'Well, you would be asking the exact same question that's bouncing in my head', she scoffed, now walking into her room and throwing her denim bag to the side of her bed. 'N-T-M, she tried to eat my dinner!' 'Excuse me?' 'We had to order our food together because we were running late because she got here late! And she said we had to scan her app for points, meaning I couldn't use my promotions, and she didn't offer me to use hers! I would've let her use mine! And then, as she was grabbing her things, I went to get our tickets, and she ordered a box of nuggets for herself and forgot to order her cheeseburger because she thought mine was hers, and when we got to the room she laughed, thinking they had forgotten about my food when she had forgotten to order hers. And since I was not giving her my food she exited the room to go get another one!' 'What, like it was your obligation to give her your food?' 'Exactly'. 'She gets worse every day, eh?' Ed scoffed, Maya pursed her lips and nodded. 'She definitely is an only child, I've never seen anyone act so much like one. Stereotypically.' 'This behavior doesn't mean she's an only child, it means she's uneducated'. Ed's words made Maya think. He was right. 'And don't think that by this I imply that it is your duty to educate her. It's not your fault her mother failed at that, May'.

And you were failure. I failed to date you is what I could say, I failed to tell you how I felt. But you failed to stay.

And now I feel so free, because I don’t have to worry about having my best smile or perfect makeup when I see you every morning. And I don’t have to worry about not seeing you every morning, that doesn’t even happen anymore. And now spring break is right around the corner, and if I were still head over heels I would not want it to arrive because it would be the time when I wouldn’t see you, and everyone knows that would kill me inside.

It would kill me to realize I would have one month left of quick gazes, one month left of quick ‘hey!’s, one month left of you. But I’m okay with it now, I don’t care about you anymore. If you didn’t need my love I didn’t want your little bitch-ass anyway. And I feel so free now, I used to feel empty, thinking you were everything and I’d never get over you. But now I don’t care anymore. This is my life. And I’m gonna be me from now on.

Guess what? Ever since you left my mind a lot of things have changed. My singing has improved, I have written a couple of songs. I got into hockey, I finally found a sport that interests me! I started saving up and cut down on my expenses. I feel excited about the future because I know big things are coming! And I know the music industry wants me to be there! I can watch series now, I’m currently watching Gilmore Girls and it no longer is a binge watch kind of relationship.

I don’t talk about you anymore, my heart no longer skips a beat when I find you watching my stories and I can’t bother to look at you now when you’re going up the street.

I’ve changed lyrics for the remaining songs about you and have re-directed one towards the book I’m currently writing, which is not about you, unlike the previous one and a half I wrote.

I am editing the first book I wrote you because I am incredibly proud of it, it is for me, it’s not for you. I have stopped writing the second book and I don’t think I’ll continue writing it, it has got boring. You’ve got boring.

Friendship does not mean supporting your friend only when they're on top of the world. Nearly everyone who has lived has heard this which makes it even sadder to have to explain. Friendship does not mean hanging out with your friend when they've just accomplished something or when they're the best at whatever. Friendship does not mean calling your friends when you're in the worst possible mental scenario so they take you out of there when you never try to help them either.

Friendship is commitment, and friendship is understanding.

And throughout my whole life I've felt like not a single soul has made an attempt to understand me.

When your friend is going through a bad moment you support them, you do everything you have in your hand to understand and help them as much as THEY want, without ever being too pushy because hey, maybe they don't want your help. If your friend loses something, misses something, has a fight, fails an exam, feels bad about whatever, hasn't done things like they would've wanted or another many, many options that could appear in this long list I keep in my mind, you DON'T laugh at them. You listen, you can give your opinion with respect, but you never laugh at them, put them down, make them feel bad, stupid or useless or anything like that. You listen, you offer help, but you don't treat them like they're crazy, you don't treat them like whatever they're saying doesn't make sense because you don't think like they do for whatever reason. You don't.

You take a seat, maybe a box of tissues for them and listen.