few things make me want to eat glass more than thinking about s4 cas just not understanding what he was feeling and standing close to dean because he wanted to be near him and not knowing what that meant, or even thinking to examine it that much. and he says things like âcan i tell you something if you promise not to tell another soulâ and âi would give anything not to have you do thisâ because he feels so deeply connected to dean and he hasnât had the opportunity to repress yet. and so he just says what he feels and he doesnât get it. like i very much believe cas was fully in love with dean by on the head of a pin but didnât have the foggiest idea that thatâs what it was. i donât think he even began to realize that it was A Whole Thing until sometime during s6 and i donât think he knew to put the word love to it until like season 8. and so for such a long time he just allowed himself to feel all of the incandescent, all-consuming love he felt for dean unreservedly because it didnât occur to him to question or hide it.Â
@tradwifecastielâ EXACTLY. he just thinks dean is beautiful and it feels good look at him.Â
#cas feeling lots of things and have little or almost no idea WHAT IT MEANS HE JUST IS FEELING LOTS OF THINGS #and itâs churning around inside of him and he knows itâs a transgression against heaven and his superiors are getting c o n c e r n e d #but he also knows itâs good feelings and Dean is so good and how could something good be a transgression #poor Cas he was so overwhelmed and discovering things about feelings because of Dean (via @dotthings)
Castiel has been in love with Dean since Heaven & Hell when he gets jealous of Anna kissing him
