if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

I think it's actually essential to children's moral development to be exposed to short stories moderately beyond their reading level where a bunch of fucked up shit happens and then instead of offering a moral lesson or any sort of emotional or narrative resolution it just ends.

please do not look up to me. I am 1 inch tall. I'm down here. if you look up you won't see me

I REALLY LIKE THIS ART THIS IS SO CUTE I'M BEING HELD UP

i will not stop doing peace signs in photos until there is world peace

public use jester. not in a sex way but in a “throw a coin at me and i’ll say one joke and do a gay little jig” way

okay fine. throw two coins at me and you can have your way with my jesterly little asshole 🙄 whatever

welcome to my new app, UberFeats. i will send heroes to your house to commit great Feats of strength and cunning

Will they do my dishes?

they will Slay your dishes

What about the laundry?

they will Slay your laundry

what about the minotaur harassing my cows

they will Have Sex with the minotaur

Remember when joining fandom as a younger person meant lurking for a bit and figuring out the vibe and etiquette instead of coming in on day one and calling people weirdos for liking weirdo shit in the weirdo factory.

the puirpose of a spider is what it does

it spides

my hands hurt

listening to an album you used to love but overplayed for yourself after a really long time after the overplayedness has worn off and it sounds like it's supposed to again is the closest to being in heaven you can get during your mortal life i think

stab scene intimacy coordinator