bloom

fairy kingdom - all items and more available today (nov 30) at 3pm pst

lesson of the day: learn to be alone, without feeling lonely.

I thought wrong

Maybe I should have given things more thought

Maybe I should have spoken up

Maybe I should have been more aware

Maybe maybe maybe.

Maybe my needs don’t matter

Perhaps I should want less from life

From people

From the world

From you I want nothing, yet I still want more than I have received

You owe me nothing, yet still I want for it

My addled brain hungers for an explanation, a reason.

I am broken. I am in pain

These wounds are not your fault but they are there

They fester and seep.

They have gone putrid from neglect, exposure, the elements of time and life

Perhaps I convinced myself that you could be a balm

A soothing tincture that would help these wounds heal

Perhaps perhaps perhaps

This pain is not yours. This pain is mine.

These thoughts are not yours these thoughts are mine

Yet I feel as if they should be known

I feel as if you need a window, a door.

I feel that you should be aware.

I feel our meeting was a mistake. I feel it should have never happen

I play it through my mind daily

Wondering where I went wrong

Wondering what I should have done differently

The memory has become burned into my psyche

An endless loop of mistake after mistake

I made so many mistakes

I thought we could be friends

That’s all I wanted.