Hope, joy and other cravings

Died. Now you are made of salt.

you’re a contractor looking at some dredged up junk

Pissed off British guy bosses around a mute guy and makes him go through hell

go put your fist through a fucking log

youre a dumbass who keeps dying from the stupidest shit ever

You fall in a hole and act as therapist for some creatures so hard you make them touch grass

You drive around in a vehicle approximately 30-90 years old

You yell at lizards in the rural country.

Kidnapping natives and forcing them to help you colonize

You run through hell to kill your father.

It’s hard to decode a code. partially cause of the killer

You fly till you die

throw a ball at wild animals

Killing your arch nemesis after sleeping for years

Start the game by dying and then get forced to kill the siblings of some guy

Trying to get off this fucking boat and some lady wants you dead

Every single entry in the core series follows the same story. The developers have released this storyline at least 20 times.

You're in a simulation universe and the computer running it will shut down in 16 minutes

you can see the EXACT moment where he decides oh this is going to be so fucking funny if i say this

My childhood has pretty much been wiped off the face of the planet :(