the best feeling in the world

dan flexing on the americans w his public transport that will take u 300 yards down the street

dan saying it would come to double murder before divorce, IKTR

how has dan made it this far without an adhd diagnosis

i was gonna make fun of dan for the laundry thing but then phil started talking about towel and sock settings and temperature settings and like man i just throw that shit in there on normal setting and press start what is this sorcery

“we’re like the only two members of a species that have survived a horrible extinction event” he’s always got a new one

btw defending the “fyi i like vagina” tweet by saying some of the handsomest boys he’s met have a vagina… king

feeling normal