:]

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anton loves being in control. he's always the one towering over you, making you feel small, teasing you. but deep down, you know he loves being on the receiving end even more. he can't help taking the lead whenever you're around even if it goes against what he truly wants. you know he'll only fall into his destined position if he's caught off guard.

you find him spread out on the couch watching tv, he doesn't even notice you approaching. you plop down against his side, facing him. he mumbles an absent greeting, eyes boring into the screen.

your hand goes over his clothed stomach, feeling the dents of his muscles with your palm. he glances down at your hand for a moment before looking back up. you continue feeling him up, reaching to feel his muscular chest for a split second. he's visibly distracted now. "wow." you whisper, slipping your hand under his shirt.

"how often do you work out?" you trace his abs with your fingertips. you already know the answer, but you'll do anything to hear his affected voice.

"few times a week." he breathes out.

your head rests on his chest, the bass of his pounding heart flooding your ear. your wandering hand trails to his bicep, squeezing it gently. "so big and strong," you murmur, "what are you training for?" you crane your neck to see his face. his eyes flutter shut every time you give him a squeeze. your palm leaves his arm and he regains consciousness, mouthing a 'huh' when he realizes you'd asked him something.

you reach down to grasp at his thigh through the thick fabric of his sweats, "you train legs too right? a lot of guys only focus on their upper body." you're barely doing anything and he already looks so bothered, your head rising and falling along with his heaving chest. you feel movement when his chin slightly bumps the top of your head, but can't guess if he's nodding in response or not. "you do?" you look up at him, he's staring down at your hand intensely, like he's trying to control it with his mind.

"yes." he says quietly.

your other arm that's been wedged between your body and the couch stretches to rest behind his neck, fingers threading through his hair as he lets out a loud sigh.

your hand creeps back up to his toned stomach, purposely skipping over the growing bulge in his pants. your nails drag against the hard-earned definition of his abs, you can hear his heartbeat quickening when your hand glides down, two fingers slipping just past the waistband of his sweats. they stay there unmoved, "should i start working out too? i feel like i'm missing out on something."

when he opens his mouth to respond, you press down on his lower abdomen, earning what sounds like a low groan mixed with his usual exhales. "are you okay?" you ask lightly, withdrawing your digits and patting the cloth of his waistband as if you're smoothing something.

"no, wait. please." he says hurriedly.

"please what?" if he wasn't so desperate you're sure he would have rolled his eyes. you wait for him to part his lips in response, eager to play your sound-drawing trick on him again.

but instead, his hand envelopes the back of yours. your fingers intertwined, when he guides you directly where he wants.

he retrieves his hand and leaves you in control.

"why can't you react normally when i compliment you?" you tease.

"your way of complimenting," he pauses, letting out a groan when you palm him over his sweats. "isn't normal." he finishes the sentence, his voice rising by the end of it when you grab his length.

"you don't like normal." you tug his sweats and boxers down together slowly, freeing his hard cock. he's already leaking.

he looks at you with wide eyes when you move like you're about to touch him, but then stop midway, raising your palm up to his chin.

your head motions towards your hand when he looks at you dumbfounded. you know he knows what to do, he just wants you to say it.

"spit." you order.

it's obvious he's fighting back a smile while he gathers as much saliva as he can in his mouth, before parting his lips and letting it spill into your palm.

you cup your hand, tilting it so the spit drips down his length.

you give him one long stroke, spreading the wetness so it coats his whole cock. his head instantly tips back against the couch, slack-jawed. you massage his tip with your thumb and he lets out a whimper. "you're so sensitive." you say.

he only nods. you begin stroking his length up and down slowly, earning breathy moans. "you like that?"

he huffs out a quiet 'yeah', biting his lip harshly when you grip the base of his cock. you sit up, your hand that was tangled in his hair reaching under his shirt, feeling for his abs again. "you're so hot, anton." you purr, stroking him faster. "i'd go to the gym with you if it meant you'd fuck me in the locker room."

"fuck." he ruts into your hand.

you egg him on. "it'd feel like this." your grip on him tightens, trying to simulate how you'd clench around him.

he lets out a guttural moan, bucking his hips up to fuck your hand. his eyes are screwed shut, you know he's imagining it.

you can tell he's getting close as his hips stutter, so you purposely slow the pace, stroking him lazily. "already, baby?" you coo at him.

he leaks more precum just from the gentle tone of your voice.

"please continue." he whines.

"you're so cute." you reach up to caress his cheek with your other hand while you continue to stroke him, building up the pace once again. he lets his head fall sideways to rest on your palm, absentmindedly nodding against it when you ask him another meaningless question about the gym.

you gently push his head upright, both hands now going to the base of his cock. with no warning, you duck down and lick the tip. "oh my god." he gasps. you stroke him faster, wrapping your lips around him. he whimpers, "please. faster."

you detach from him and look up to see his eyes closed as he thrusts into your hold, "tell me what you're thinking about." his cock twitches in your hands.

"i'm thinking," he's reckless now, his own hand going over yours to squeeze himself. "i'm thinking about you, fuck," he shuts his mouth to suppress a moan you're still able to hear, muffled. "us at the gym. you counting my reps, then taking me to the back." he whines when you twist around him.

"you wanna fuck me in the gym, baby? have all your friends hear?" you coo at him, or maybe at his dick when you lean down to place a sloppy kiss on the tip. his hips snap upwards, spilling his release all over your hands as he falls apart with a low moan. he's panting when you continue stroking him, milking him of everything.

he nods when you pat his thigh, telling him you're going to go get a towel to clean up his mess. "are you really gonna start going to the gym with me?" he calls out.

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it's been a few days since your first encounter with eunseok. you did not contact him, as you assumed you would. there was just no reason to. the guy you were talking to was erased from your memory the second eunseok hypnotized you, with the spinning of his basketball.

and, to be fair, that was a friday night. you had two days to overthink your interaction with eunseok before being thrown into another busy week. you had no time to dwell on your failed situation-ship, or your failed attempt at slipping into a new one.

whenever you had a moment of dull peace, your mind would drift back to eunseok. your life has been bland and disappointing lately, and he never specified that you should only seek him out when you're sad. you want him to distract you, and that's enough.

it's the middle of the week when you decide to send eunseok a message. you're stuck on campus, looking for ways to kill the two-hour gap between lectures other than working on your assignments.

hey

a few minutes go by. you receive a response.

Hey

you decide to leave him hanging, just a bit, before texting back. your phone vibrates a while later. another message from him.

U been good?

embarrassingly enough, this takes you by surprise. you don't recall the last time a guy dared to double-text you.

you prepare to type out a truthful response, something along the lines of 'yeah', 'kinda', or maybe 'nothing excites me anymore. but i think you could save me, eunseok. how about this: i will watch you toss around your stupid basketball, i'll cheer you on (always), we'll fuck occasionally, we can hang out occasionally too.'

but then you stop and think. you don't know eunseok's intentions at all. he never hinted at desiring anything romantic, hell, even platonic. he probably just feels bad for you. he gave you his number so that you'd have a digital shoulder to cry on. but you want to talk to him. you want him to keep responding to you, until you're the one who ends up leaving him on delivered, ending your nothing-ship. in order for this to play out, you lie. you hope he keeps his word.

not rly :(

he responds almost immediately.

Wanna c something cool?

before you can type out an answer, you see two videos pop up under his message, waiting to be loaded and watched.

the first video plays and it's just him doing basketball tricks on an empty court. you're not complaining. but god, is this going to be an ongoing thing? his way of distracting you is showing off his basketball skills, that you can't even appreciate with your lack of knowledge regarding the sport. you don't load the second video, assuming it's basically the same thing. you reply with a vague praise.

over the span of two weeks, you've been able to keep in touch with him. barely, but just enough. your conversations are short and superficial. you tell him you're sad, he never asks why. you believe he assumes it's still because of the guy you were whining about. he either responds with questions regarding your plans for the day, motivational quotes copy-pasted from google, or short clips of him doing anything involving that damn basketball.

you've grown to enjoy the videos. your favorite part is when the video only has a few seconds remaining. he jogs towards the camera, crouching down and hogging the whole frame as he reaches out to grab his phone. you're finally able to see his face clearly, sometimes he's a bit out of breath, if you're lucky. grinning as he gives you a thumbs-up through the screen.

you realize you know nothing about him other than his name and his obvious love for sports. you don't return his questions often but when you do, he responds as vaguely as possible.

one day, you're wandering through your school's halls, waiting for eunseok to call you since he said he would, claiming he feels too lazy to type. your phone vibrates as his contact invades your screen. you accept the call.

"hello?" you call out.

"hey." the same voice that disturbed you not long ago, now has you feeling antsy through the phone.

"i forgot you're a real person." you say whatever comes to mind.

you hear him chuckle. "yeah. i forgot what your voice sounds like."

"well, we only talked for like an hour."

"you had a lot to say," before you can comment on that, he asks, "what are you doing?"

"nothing. two-hour gap again like last week. what about—" you pause when the sound of roaring wind floods your speakers. "where are you?"

"outside."

"doing what?"

"nothing," he brushes off, "what were you gonna say?"

just like that, he keeps drawing a line between you two. but the line is always right by his feet, while you stand well back from it, leaving space for everything you've already told him about yourself. he makes sure you're the main topic of every conversation. you think maybe he's just a closed off person. it's only been two weeks after all, and you guys haven’t actually talked as much as it feels like you have.

but it doesn't matter. eunseok isn't your friend. in his head, he's a soldier on a mission. he wants to help you get over your conniving, betraying situation-ship!

and if that entails stealthily flexing his arms in every video he sends you, then so be it.

you're itching to see him again. the videos and short calls aren't cutting it.

therefore, you decided to invite him over to watch a movie. stating your roommate won't be home that evening, so you'll be lonely. plus, you'll be able to watch it on the television in your living room, without her intruding presence. horniness aside, you genuinely wanted to watch this movie.

of course, he agreed.

the day rolls around, hours before your plans with him, and you're exhausted. the few days leading up to this very moment have completely burned you out. whether it was coursework, the sudden drop in temperature outside, or just the constant lack of mental stimulation in your day-to-day life. even the usual excitement when eunseok would text you wasn't enough to jolt you awake. you want to see him, but you also want to maintain your image. by now, he's probably used to your nonstop rambling, even when you start by saying that you're feeling upset. that's what he expects, you think. but in this checked-out state, you're afraid you'll just bore him.

you can't cancel on him the day of, just because you're feeling tired and unsure about how you'll present yourself. you decide to call him, with no scripted excuse, relying on your brain to come up with something as he picks up.

"hey. you just couldn't wait, huh?"

"yeah, hey," you pace back and forth in the living room as you try to think. "turns out my roommate is actually gonna be home. she probably won't agree on staying in her room 'cause we've been arguing lately. so, yeah."

"that's fine. i don't mind her being there. or joining."

you bite your lip in annoyance. "yeah, but i do. she'll probably just like, lurk there, because she knows it'll piss me off." you reason.

it's silent for a few seconds before you hear him, "okay.." you swear you can hear the cogs in his brain turning. "why don't we watch it in your room?"

you pause. "uh, i wanted to watch it on the big screen. in the living room."

"do you have a laptop?" you can't tell if he really can't take a hint or if he's just eager to come over and watch this movie with you, for some reason. you don't mind, but you just don't want to be perceived tonight.

it goes quiet again when you wonder whether your bed is big enough for the both of you to lounge comfortably.

"i could bring my laptop. my screen is pretty big." he suggests.

you suppress the irritated groan threatening to leave your throat, humming as you consider it.

"alright, yeah. bring your laptop," you give in. you don't have it in you to be straightforward. "please."

"okay," you can hear a smile in his tone. probably at your sudden politeness. "i'll see you."

"bye." you hang up. this was a waste of time.

you're, once again, pacing back and forth, by the door now. eunseok will be here any second. you feel rather anxious.

you hear a knock and open the door. eunseok stands tall before you. this is your first time seeing his face in normal lighting. you stare up at him and count to three in your head, any more than four seconds of staring would be weird. you went overboard and stared for five.

"you're here."

"i'm here. he's here too." only then, you notice eunseok holding an abnormally wide laptop in his arms, when he raises it slightly to get your attention.

"you carried it like that the whole way?" you ask as you step aside and pull the door open wider.

eunseok steps in. "wouldn't really fit in my backpack. it'd look like i'm smuggling a pizza box or something."

you chuckle as you close the door behind him. he's now standing in your living room, waiting for further instructions and observing your living space before you lock him away in your room forever.

"wait. i'm gonna see if we have popcorn."

you're about to leave him standing when he quickly asks, "where's your room?"

you point down the hallway, directly at your bedroom's door.

for a moment, you contemplate telling him that your roommate ended up going out, as originally planned, and you can have the living room to yourselves. but when you make your way to the bedroom, you see him already sat on the edge of your bed, the device balanced on his lap as he clicks away at the keyboard.

he notices you standing in the doorway, empty handed. "no popcorn?"

"no," you step in further and close the door behind you. "unless you want it expired."

his eyes flicker between you and the screen, "i think i'm good."

you can't help but smile at his serious expression. he almost looks frustrated. he looks up to find you watching him.

"the quality sucks on all these sites. you just had to pick a new movie."

"you're pirating this? i pay a good amount of money for these subscriptions. just let me log in." you sit beside him, pulling the laptop from his lap onto yours.

meanwhile, he gets up and wanders around the small space of your room. you see him touching random things on your desk. "my mom had one just like this at home," his fingers brush your salt lamp. "i always wanted to lick it but she wouldn't let me."

'at home' sounds so foreign coming from him. you assumed he didn't have a home. that he just lives on an empty basketball court and dribbles, day and night. it all sounds foreign, being the first personal detail he's ever told you.

half an hour later, you're both situated on your bed, backs leaning against the wall. his legs completely stretched out, almost hanging off the edge. the laptop propped on a pillow that rests between his knees, angled towards you.

this movie sucks. at first, you blamed yourself for zoning out. the man that's been consuming your mind lately is sprawled out on your bed, two centimeters away from you. he looks good. he smells good. you're to blame. but even when you tried to be invested in whatever was going on in front of you, you got bored.

you were snapped out of your daze when eunseok clicked the space bar, the sound of dialogue coming to an abrupt stop.

you look at him in confusion.

"are you bored?" he asks.

"no, i'm watching."

"every time i look over, you're staring at the wall."

"oh."

he stretches forward, grabbing the laptop from between his legs and setting it down on the ground. then tossing the pillow towards the edge of the bed.

"you don't wanna watch?" you quietly ask, feeling like you've done something wrong. you watch him turn himself and scoot to sit in front of you. folding his legs to mimic your cross-legged position.

his firm expression contrasts with his gentle tone when he speaks, "how was your week?"

you stare into his eyes as he inspects you.

"it was fine. just tiring."

he hums in acknowledgment as his gaze drops from your eyes down to your hands, fingers scrunching the hem of your hoodie. "you seem distracted."

"isn't that what you're here to do?" you ask. your voice coming out breathier than you'd intended.

"but you're thinking of other things," he reaches over your folded legs, into the small circle they form, his hand landing unbelievably close to your scrunched ones. his palm open, prompting you to take it. "what are you thinking about?"

your breath hitches at the sudden movement. your brain begins to stir for a response. "i've had a lot of work to do," you mindlessly unclench the fabric and gently take his hand into both of yours. "i'm just a little stressed out."

he hums again. pushing you to continue.

you look down at your own hands, pulling his fingers opposite directions as if they're fighting over who gets to hold him. "i don't know. sorry i'm all gloomy."

he watches over you intently. he's sure he even saw your lips form a small pout. "don't be sorry," you're accepting of his comfort, so he brings his other hand to rest on your knee, fingers tracing it. "that's what i'm here for, right?"

you freeze at the sudden physical contact. all your confidence is out the window.

you glance at his hand on your knee, then back at his face, your eyes meeting. he looks serious. like he's trying to get a point across.

you just nod.

"can i distract you?"

your brain short circuits. you're not sure what he means. it sounds suggestive, but maybe that's because you see everything about him that way.

suddenly you're hyper-aware of everything. you can hear the faint blow of the wind outside. the low scratch of eunseok's fingertips on your knee. it's too much.

"i don't have a ball for your tricks. is an apple big enough?" you joke, trying to ease the tension. you immediately regret it.

his expression mellows out, a faint smile breaking through as his eyes soften. "i have a different method."

you track how his eyes scan down to your lips. naturally, your eyes drift down to his, too.

his hand on your knee reaches up to hold your cheek. he leans in closer to your face, giving you a few seconds to decide if you want to back away.

when you don't, he softly presses his lips against yours. he's so gentle, you can barely register the feeling. he presses in a little deeper. your fingers tighten around his hand, you almost forgot you were still holding it.

when you realize you're unmoving, you pull away for a split second, angling your head and leaning back in. the kiss is slow, and overly affectionate, in your opinion. it feels innocent, like you're both just trying to adjust to this new territory.

you let go of his hand, finally. placing one on his shoulder while the other rests on the sheets beside his thigh. he can tell you're more eased now, already feeling victorious. his hand glides from your cheek down to your jaw, gripping it lightly in an attempt to open your mouth wider. you oblige. he pulls away slightly, wiping his tongue over your bottom lip before sliding it into your mouth.

quickly, the kiss gets sloppy and you can't stand the heat. you break the kiss, reaching for the hem of your hoodie to pull it off, leaving you in a tank top. the second you toss it aside, eunseok is already looming over you on his knees. one hand on your waist while the other holds the side of your neck. as he leans in, you pull at his shoulders. his lips land on your jaw, starting out with soft kisses just like before. when he hears you sigh contently, he allows himself to part his lips. he slowly trails open-mouthed kisses down to your neck. his lips sealing around your skin, drawing just enough to avoid leaving a mark. your bothered exhales motivate him to continue. you claw at his shoulders when you feel his teeth graze your sensitive skin.

he just wants to make you feel better. he has no plans to, god forbid, leave visual evidence of his help. but when he hears you breathe out a quiet 'more', he can only obey. his teeth drag down to the crook of your neck, nibbling then gliding his tongue over the reddening area.

you can't help the whimper that leaves your mouth. your face immediately heats up. at that, his thumb strokes your waist, as if he's letting you know you're free to make noise. it's encouraged, even. he repeats the action down to your collarbone, earning loud sighs and whines you fail to hold back.

you're becoming painfully aware of the growing ache between your thighs. you instinctively uncross your legs, bending your knees as your feet plant on the bed. while you move, your knees bump his chest lightly, causing him to scoot back.

he rests back on his heels, taking in your flushed state. you stare at him with glossy eyes, expectantly.

"i want more." you mumble as you spread your legs, sliding them down just enough for eunseok to be positioned in between.

he nods as he leans forward, reaching for your thighs to pull you closer, sinking you lower on the bed.

he palms your upper thighs as he bows to kiss your clothed stomach. he pulls the fabric just above your belly button, leaving wet pecks all over. his fingers tug at the waistband of your sweats when he looks up at you for confirmation. you don't know who to thank for sending eunseok your way, allowing you to see him from this angle, kneeling between your legs. but you're more than grateful.

you give him a nod and he pulls them down to your ankles, then off completely.

his eyes are fixed on your core. they drag up to yours when he begins to ask, "can i—" you immediately nod. he looks down to hide his grin, "m'kay."

he grazes your clothed heat with his knuckle, the thin fabric sticking to your folds as it absorbs your wetness.

"so wet," you hear him whisper, as if it was only meant for him to hear. "don't want you feeling uncomfortable." his fingers latch onto the band of your underwear, eyes flicking up to your face as he slowly pulls them down past your knees.

your lower half is bare before him. in a situation like this, you'd normally feel shy. especially with someone you barely know, like eunseok. but you're so desperate for relief right now, you couldn't care less.

his eyes bore into your center. you're not sure if he's planning his next move or if he's about to ditch your "distraction".

you open your mouth to say something, when he ducks down into your heat, kissing your slit. you gasp loudly at the sudden act, goosebumps spreading over your whole body.

he looks up at you for a second to ensure you're okay. his lips glossy with you. what a sight. you nod for him to continue.

his tongue darts out, flatly licking your wetness before his palms spread your thighs further. he leaves a kiss directly on your clit, causing you to gasp again.

he's basking in your reactions, like they're his greatest achievements.

he kisses you slowly, letting his jaw drop gradually until his tongue darts out once again, lapping at your cunt.

one of your hands gripping the sheets while the other goes to his head, fingers threading through his hair. "fuck, eunseok." you sigh, letting your head fall back.

he eats you sloppily, a mix of his drool and your arousal dripping down his chin and onto your sheets.

he retreats, breathing heavily.

"eunseok" you whine. you fight the urge to tug at his hair and pull him back in.

all the complaints on the tip of your tongue disappear the moment eunseok slips a finger in your wetness. you let out a moan when he rubs your clit with just the right amount of pressure. he changes the speed every time you get quiet, trying to draw different sounds out of you.

while he works you with his finger, he kisses the plush inside of your thigh. "you're not thinking of him, right?" he mumbles against you.

you can barely make out his words, mostly feeling the tickle of his breath against your skin.

when you don't respond, he withdraws his finger and asks clearly. "who are you thinking about?"

you crane your head down to look at him, confused about the sudden question. you have no idea why he's asking, and who else you could possibly be thinking about right now.

you aren't thinking at all, actually. your brain has been shut off ever since he put his lips on you.

"no one."

he knows you're telling the truth because of your dazed expression. your pupils are blown out and you're subconsciously gripping his hair out of impatience. you don't have it in you to lie right now.

he smiles lazily, nodding to himself. "that's good."

eunseok chuckles when you let out a frustrated groan. he doesn't keep you waiting another second before his mouth is on you again. when you feel his tongue glide over your pulsing entrance, you pull him impossibly closer. you feel him prodding your heat, tongue swirling wherever he can reach. your back immediately arches, hips jerking like you don't know what to do with yourself. you feel like every single nerve in your body is on fire. his tongue works you slowly as you rut against his mouth. "eunseok, please." whiny pleads fall from your lips, repeatedly. you're not sure what exactly you're begging for, but eunseok gives it to you every time.

you're making a mess of his hair, strands wrapped around your fingers. when you grip them harshly, unintentionally, he groans into you. it's the first noise you've heard from him, and it sends a jolt of excitement through your body. when he feels your thighs twitch around him, he knows you're getting close. or at least, that he's doing a phenomenal job. when you wrap your legs around his neck, he keeps a grip on your outer thigh, trying to retain some form of control. his other hand reaches for your lower stomach, grasping at the soft flesh.

his tongue teases at your hole, gliding down occasionally to circle your sensitive clit. the stimulation is too much, but so good at the same time.

your hips rock against his face, you feel like you're losing control. "eunseok" you pant. you don't have to say anything, he already knows. your hips jerk faster, as eunseok works hard to get you there. he's so determined, the lack of oxygen in his lungs doesn't cross his mind. you shudder when he presses his palm into your lower abdomen, legs locking around his head as you come undone, a guttural moan leaving you. you're practically seeing stars when eunseok continues lapping up your release, the grip on his head loosening as your whole body goes limp. you're laying on your back with your eyes closed, panting heavily.

you almost forget he's there until you no longer feel his warmth on you, the sound of his unsteady breathing overlapping yours.

you prop yourself up on your elbows, stealing a glance at him. he's already looking at you, his lips quirking up weakly as he shifts to sit up. his chest rising and falling.

he's glistening, from the strands of hair clinging to his face down to the damp collar of his shirt.

"how do you feel?" his voice is barely stable.

you tilt your head, letting it rest on your shoulder as you give him a sheepish smile. "you're really good."

he huffs out a laugh. "i'm really good?" he beams, emphasizing the 'really'.

"i guess." you don't want to boost his ego more than you already have. you playfully nudge his thigh with your foot, stretching your arms out to lie flat on the bed again.

you both fall into a comfortable silence.

you feel him shake your leg lightly, "hey."

you hum in response.

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it's been a long day.

you lean on the heavy door of the convenience store with all your weight, it barely opens with a creak. you squeeze through the small opening you've created and step outside, immediately hit with a cool breeze. it smells like smoke and gasoline. you stroll around the area of the gas station looking for a spot to settle down. you finally plop down on rough concrete, on the side of an empty parking lot behind the station.

you begin to down the water you just bought, hoping it sobers you up. you know that you're basically sober, barely tipsy. you don't usually drink, but after an argument with a guy of your interest at his own party, you decided it might make you feel a little better. it did not.

you set the open bottle of water down beside you and fidget with the cap as you stare down at the ground. you're honestly thinking of nothing, for the first time in a while your mind is blank and your eyes feel rested as your vision goes blurry and unfocused.

you flinch when you hear the sound of your bottle being knocked over and crinkled. by a basketball.

"what the fuck?" you mutter as you scoot away from the spilled liquid. you look around to find the owner of the ball, but no one is there.

a few seconds later you hear the sound of someone dragging their feet against the pebbled concrete behind you. and then someone clearing their throat. you stare ahead at the ball that has now rolled further and stopped beside your ankle, waiting for whoever it is that disturbed your peace to walk into your line of vision themselves.

"uhm.. excuse me?" a low voice breaks the silence.

you feel too tired to even turn around and find the face that matches the speaker.

"what?" you respond while still staring towards the ball. maybe it's speaking to you.

"my ball," the voice begins and you hear the footsteps getting closer behind you until, from the side of your eye, two legs stop right beside you, "i see that i also knocked over your water. sorry."

you look to the side, and then up to see a lanky young man staring down at you. probably around your age. if you weren't so out of it you'd probably say something embarrassing after internally acknowledging that he's hot.

"s'okay," you respond dryly as you look back at the ball and tilt your head towards it, "it's right here for you."

"yeah.." he steps down from beside you, walking towards the ball and picking it up. he holds it with two palms and stares at you with a blank expression. you stare back.

suddenly his expression shifts into something you can't really read. his lips are pursed like he's trying to hold back a laugh. but he doesn't say anything.

after a few long seconds, "oh my god. what?" you blurt out, annoyed.

"i'm sorry," he lets out a breathy laugh, "you just look so sad. like you're actually frowning. i've never seen someone frown so animated."

you open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

"i am sad." you confess.

"i can see that." he smiles for a split second before forcing himself to appear serious, or at least normally neutral. "why? water isn't that expensive, pretty."

you make a face at the sudden pet name. you mumble a quiet 'ew' before setting aside the bottle cap you've been unknowingly fidgeting with this whole time.

he watches you as he rocks back and forth on his feet, tossing the ball in the air and catching it repeatedly. "uhm.. so why are you sad?" he asks.

god he's nosy. but you've already pissed your friends off by mentioning this man ten times a day. maybe you could use a new listener.

"basically, i was talking to this guy. like, i've been talking to him for a few months, and it's just kind of been on and off, y'know? like sometimes he'll ignore me for days and then i'll ignore him in return and then we just ignore each other for a month. but then we talk again," he lets you ramble, occasionally humming in response to your rhetorical questions.

"and i was just at his party like an hour ago and," you roll your eyes dramatically and sigh before continuing, "god he's such a slut, he was making out with one of his thousand girl-friends, and like we're not official or anything but," you look down, suddenly feeling embarrassed as you tell the story out loud, "y'know."

suddenly you're fully conscious of the man focused on you and your words are now being weighed in your head before you decide to speak them.

you decide to end the story, "basically i drank a little and i usually don't and we argued and blah blah. and then you knocked my water over." you pursed your lips into an awkward closed smile.

he let out a quiet 'uh-huh' as he nodded with a judgy expression. you're not sure what he's judging. he was visibly empathetic until you interrupted yourself and wrapped up your rambling.

he looks away from you, focusing on dribbling the ball in place as he comforts you, or at least that's what you think he's trying to do, "listen, i know you think he's playing this complicated game with you, making you wait days for a response and stuff," you listen intently.

"but. he just doesn't care about you." he stops dribbling and looks straight at you.

"uhm," you respond and wait for him to continue.

he sighs and opens his mouth to speak again. "you should just forget about him. there's no need to overthink the situation."

this guy is annoying.

"i can't just forget about him. i'm a sensitive girl y'know? and he was different."

it seems like he's tuning your whining out because he doesn't spare you a glance as he props the ball up and spins it on his pointer finger.

"are you seeing this?" he asks with a grin.

you're taken aback. you wonder if this guy is a real person with a real family and real friends.

"yes i can see you spinning the ball on your finger."

"isn't it sick?" his grin widens into a big smile.

"yeah it's cool." you respond, meaning to sound sarcastic but it came out more genuine than you intended. you guess it is pretty cool.

he turns his gaze from the spinning ball to you. he gives you a genuine smile, "see? you just forgot about him. took you about four seconds."

you can't help but crack a small smile at that. "i guess."

he looks satisfied with your confirmation.

"if you're so sensitive, you shouldn't willingly involve yourself with guys who confuse you and don't wanna date you officially after months of talking." he suddenly states.

your smile is gone. way to ruin the few seconds of happiness you had going on.

"yeah." you nod. it's true. you try to convince yourself that you can be "casual" but you can't.

"are you still sad?" he walks closer to you, crouching down to meet your eyes.

now you're kind of nervous. you're taking in all his facial features for the first time since he came into your life twenty seven minutes ago. he really is hot. would this be a good time to shoot your shot? it's only inappropriate if he initiates something since you're the one who's sad.

"no but only because you're distracting me," you reply truthfully. "i'll probably be sad when i'm alone and stuck with my thoughts."

he rests on his knees and stares at you with an empathetic look. you feel like a stray cat meowing for attention, and getting it. you can't help the warmth you feel inside. you haven't gotten this type of attention in a while and it was needed.

you watch him think for a second and then nod to himself. "give me your number."

"you're hitting on me while i'm sad and vulnerable?" you ask. it's supposed to be sarcastic but you're not sure how he'll take it. you hope he doesn't take it seriously since you'd honestly be willing to let him fuck you right here.

you think the spinning motion of the ball earlier hypnotized you into being able to do casual romance. you suddenly think of the possibility of keeping in contact with him and building a future together, in which you both are extremely close friends with benefits who help each other through life's challenges. jesus you must be exhausted to be thinking like this.

"i'm not hitting on you." he says bluntly.

you hoped for a different response to say the least. "oh."

he watches you intently, catching how your shoulders instinctively drop a bit from what he believes is disappointment. he can't help but break the eye contact and drop his gaze to your knees, smiling to himself.

"i'll give you my number, and you can text me whenever you wanna be distracted." he holds out his hand between you two, his palm open, waiting to receive your phone.

"'kay," you snicker and immediately rummage through the plastic bag you threw your phone in earlier when you bought the water.

you grab your phone and place it in his palm, unlocked.

you watch him type for what feels like an eternity. at some point you see him angle the phone upwards sneakily. you'll probably see the results in your camera roll when you get home.

"are you done?" you nag.

"are you just going through my phone?" you snatch it from him, earning a quiet "jeez".

he, in fact, was. multiple apps were opened and you landed on your notes app just in time.

you open your contacts to see a newly added number, labeled "eunseok". he didn't even add any emojis or anything.

"eunseok." you read out loud.

"that is me, yeah." he exhales as he slowly stands back up and stretches his limbs.

"nice." you nod awkwardly.

the mood between you two keeps changing rapidly. you felt confident and honestly, kind of desperate a few exchanged words ago. and now you think maybe the friends with benefits future you planned won't work out.

he looks like he's about to say something when you cut him off, "i'm gonna go home now."

"okay," he watches you push yourself up from the ground and brush the back of your thighs off. "you want me to walk you home? or somethin'. "

"no. i live pretty close so," you stand in front of him now. he's tall. with the small distance between you, you have to look up to meet his eyes. the sun has completely set, the only source of light being the neon green signs from the gas station behind you. "you'll probably be receiving a text from me soon anyway."

"i mean, it's dark out." he reasons, but doesn't push it. "okay. goodnight."

"yeah," you slowly turn on your heel, "don't forget your ball," your head motions towards the abandoned ball by eunseok's feet, "goodnight." you steal one final glance at his face while he's blindly looking around to find the ball.

you turn completely and finally walk away.