#riize anton

⟢ dirty secrets by @prkhaven ⋮ wc 28.2k ♯ smut, sister’s boyfriend!jake, inexperienced reader, forbidden love

⟢ sweet like candy by @bambiihee ⋮ wc 4k ♯ smut, friends to lovers, roommates, virgin!reader, experienced!jake

⟢ i don't wanna be just friends by @heejamas ⋮ wc 28k ♯ smut, friends to lovers, college au, pet play, extreme horniness

⟢ responsible guy by @heejamas ⋮ wc 13k ♯ smut, office au, coworkers to lovers, romcom, daddy kink

⟢ complementary pt.1 + pt.2 by @heegyukeluv ⋮ wc 27k + 13k ♯ smut, brother's best friend, tutor!jake

⟢ jake teasing reader by @jakeyswifeblog ⋮ wc ??k ♯ smut, brat tamer!jake, just pure smut

⟢ call me when you hate me less by @jaylaxies ⋮ wc 18.3k ♯ smut, angst, rich footballer jake, tutor!reader

⟢ chemistry pt.1 + pt.2 + pt.3 + ? by @starryjake ⋮ wc 11.5k + 6K + 4.8k ♯ smut, best friend's ex!jake, toxicity, angsty

⟢ clueless by @jaysbaefie ⋮ wc 11.7k ♯ smut, best friends to lovers, hard dom!jake, oblivious reader

⟢ procrastination killer by @p2nyoreo ⋮ wc 3.6k ♯ smut, studdy buddies, sexy messy sex idk

⟢ the bet by @arlyxn ⋮ wc 16.8k ♯ smut, angsty, fluffy, inexperienced!reader x experienced!jake

sunghoon

⟢ inch by inch by @intromortal ⋮ wc 23.6k ♯ smut, brat tamer bick dick!sunghoon, overstimulation

niki

⟢ the neighbour and his cat by @enjakey ⋮ wc ??k ♯ smut, neighbours to lovers, niki has a kitty, very yummy couch scene

⟢ fuckboy!niki pt.1 + pt.2 by @enhani-ki ⋮ wc ??k ♯ smut, fuck boy niki tries to win you over

⟢ beg for it by @bimbobarbie4life ⋮ wc 7.6k ♯ smut, popular!reader x nerd!niki, mean dom!niki, tutoring, humiliation

⟢ student council president by @arlyxn ⋮ wc 10.9k ♯ smut, enemies to lovers, mean dom!niki, control and jealousy

·˚&TEAM

kei

⟢ neighbors by @starryjake ⋮ wc ??k ♯ smut, neighbours to lovers, divorced dilf!kei, daddy kink, honestly the only fic ever

⟢ break room by @starryjake ⋮ wc 8k ♯ smut, office au, cheating, coworkers to lovers

nicholas

⟢ intrigued and indulged by @nteamxdoor ⋮ wc 8.8k ♯ smut, strangers to lovers, bad boy!nicholas, college au

⟢ got your nails in my back by @wangweno ⋮ wc ??k ♯ smut, alpha werewolf!nicholas, knotting, sex in the forest

⟢ let us help by @pineappleonmyburger ⋮ wc 4.6k ♯ smut, nichojoo threesome, bsf euijoo and friend nicholas

⟢ chew toy by @iclimbjungwon ⋮ wc 1.6k ♯ smut, daddy kink, oral fixation

⟢ like a drug by @subbyrua ⋮ wc 4.3k ♯ smut, fuck boy!nicho, angst, comfort, good ending

⟢ body like gossip by @ikeukiss ⋮ wc 7k ♯ smut, frat boy!nicholas, angsty, situationship to lovers

⟢ tails the gangsta by @st4rstudd3d ⋮ wc 1.5k ♯ smut, wolf hybrid!nicholas, breeding, knotting and...piss...

⟢ spin the bottle by @starryjake ⋮ wc 5k ♯ smut, nichojoo threesome, bf!euijoo, mxm content

⟢ my moon, my man by @minhosimthings ⋮ wc 15k ♯ smut, princess!reader, knight!nicholas, themes of war, virginity loss

euijoo

⟢ needy by @lunegenic ⋮ wc 3k ♯ smut, established relationship, , needy!euijoo kitchen sex

⟢ just the two of us by @crdteezv ⋮ wc 4.3k ♯ smut, husband!euijoo, teasing

⟢ not like that by @joojeans ⋮ wc 14k ♯ smut, university au, dubcon, reader is hard to get

⟢ after party by @shyxcherry ⋮ wc 3k ♯ smut, frat boy!euijoo, established relationship, jealousy, slightly toxic euijjoo

⟢ poor girl by @starryjake ⋮ wc ??k ♯ smut, sick reader, praising, finger sucking

⟢ let us help by @pineappleonmyburger ⋮ wc 4.6k ♯ smut, nichojoo threesome, bsf euijoo and friend nicholas

⟢ spin the bottle by @starryjake ⋮ wc 5k ♯ smut, nichojoo threesome, bf!euijoo, mxm content

maki

⟢ naughty nights for niceness by @danisofair ⋮ wc 2.8k ♯ smut, hard dom maki, bratty!reader

⟢ fighter by @lunegenic ⋮ wc 4k ♯ smut, major flirt!maki, boxing, car sex

·˚RIIZE

shotaro

⟢ pretty girl discount by @01zfan ⋮ wc 4.9k ♯ smut, plug!shotaro, backshots

⟢ a simple favor by @abriizeyday ⋮ wc ?? ♯ smut, handyman!shotaro, neighbours, possible switch!shotaro?

anton

⟢ always yours by @imsosoheee ⋮ wc 4.8k ♯ smut, long distance bf!anton, angst, emotional make up sex

·˚TXT

soobin

⟢ distraction by @calumcxke ⋮ wc 9.1k ♯ smut, best friends to lovers, reader is scared of thunder, rough comfort sex

⟢ midnight spirit by @filmsbyun ⋮ wc 17k ♯ smut, strangers to lovers, festival guide!soobin, mutual pining, lantern festival

⟢ chapter seven by @monoceros-in-ink ⋮ wc 10k ♯ smut, puppy hybrid!reader, heat, overstimulation, cum play

⟢ dream team? more like cream team by @st4rstudd3d ⋮ wc 1k ♯ smut, best friends to lovers, confession, dry humping, cumming in pants

(๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑) these were just some fics i have saved in my notes app lol :p i will keep updating this list! i couldn't include everything since i can't find some users anymore sadly :( i will soon add recs for james as well! keep coming back to see my updates if you wanna :3

You hummed. “um, I've heard Wonbin mention him a few times in passing. He's friends with Sohee, right?”

“Yeah. Anyway, I think you guys would really get along. He's super passionate about music, like you, it’s basically his whole life. He's always got his macbook on him so he can listen to music or make something. and he’s super chill. I'm sure you’d like him. Everyone likes Anton.”

You listened attentively. This Anton, whoever he was, seemed like your time of guy. “Yeah, he sounds cool. I'd love to meet him. I can't give you a definitive answer right now, but I can text you like two days before to let you know if I can make it or not.”

“Sounds good,” Shotaro said smoothly. “talk to you later.”

“peace,” you said, and hung up.

That week, you had a handful of late sessions, but you managed to get into one that ran a little earlier, and Saturday night, you arrived at one of the local pubs Shotaro and his friends frequented when his apartment wouldn’t do justice to the amount of people he was intent on having.

Shotaro noticed the second you arrived and came over to you with a smile on his face and two drinks in hand. “You made it,” he said, handing a bottle over. “Strawberry cider, right?”

You grinned. “Yeah, thanks.” You popped the bottle open. “glad I could make it.”

Shotaro brought his own drink to his lips. “professor not treating you too badly, is he?”

“Just trying to prepare us for the real world,” you drawled. you took a sip. The drink was cold and sweet, just the way you liked it. 

Shotaro nodded. “should i introduce you to Anton now, or would you rather me do it later?”

you shrugged. “We can get it out of the way. I know you have hosting duties to attend to.”

“it’s no trouble,” he said, “but if you insist, I can take you to him now. Follow me.”

You trailed behind him, briefly greeting some familiar faces as you passed them on the way to the mysterious stranger he was set on having you meet. There were strings of lights hanging overhead to keep out the darkness as the sun let the moon take its place in the sky. Laughter and chatter was a constant thing all around you, and something about the casualness of it all put you at ease.

Beneath a particularly bright set of lights, Sohee was talking to a tall, lean specimen of a man who you could only assume was the Anton Shotaro had spoken so highly of. He was golden beneath the yellow hue of the lights, sporting a shirt that was tight around his chest and arms. When his eyes lowered to yours, brown and probing, you felt like all your secrets had been laid bare for all the world to see.

“Hey, Anton. this is the music prod major i was talking to you about,” Shotaro said. He turned to you and said your name. “This is Anton.”

Anton smiled, and for a second you felt like you could breathe again, before the perfect curve of his lips stole your breath away too. “Nice to meet you. Shotaro says you love music.”

The smile found its way to your face on its own. “to say the least. he told me you do too.”

Anton nodded. “to say the least,” he echoed.

Shotaro threw a look, and the two slipped away.

You wracked your brain for something to say, because there was no way you were going to bore this perfectly handsome man to death. damn Shotaro for not mentioning that Anton was breathtaking. “so, where does all of that love come from?” you asked, bringing the drink to your mouth for another sip. 

“Well, my dad’s a producer, so I kind of grew up around music,” Anton explained.

Your eyes widened a little bit. “What, that’s neat. My dad was a rapper.”

“Really?” Anton asked. His eyes hadn’t left yours since he set sight on you. It was making you nervous. “Do you rap too?”

You laughed and shook your head. “oh, no, no. no. I prefer to work behind the scenes. Seeing everything work together to come together and paint one big picture, and tell one beautiful story, that’s what I like. and making music in and of itself is a really collaborative process, so it makes me remember how important it is to have other people around in my life, you know?” you sound so stupid, it’s crazy, you thought to yourself.

Anton's smile seemed to widen. “Yeah, I know,” he said. “Maybe we should work together sometime.”

“Really?”

“Shotaro tells me you’re really good, and Wonbin said so as well.”

You scoffed. “They're just being nice. Most of the time I'm just doing shit and I hate it. all i do is abuse synths and delay.”

Anton chuckled. He tapped a ring-adorned finger against his lips, which naturally drew your attention there, and it dawned on you just how long they were. His hand was huge, just like the rest of him. “i get that.”

Your eyes darted away, here and there, there and here. “it’s always nice to talk to someone who does. i have friends that still ask about my music even though they don’t know anything about it, because they’re not dickheads, so i’ll bring up percs and they’ll think i’m talking about percocets.”

Anton closed his eyes and laughed. “Well, you know, it’s almost been ten years since 2017. mask off.”

You sighed. “Don't remind me. I swear last year was just 2019. 2019 was seven years ago.”

“That doesn’t sound right at all,” Anton said.

“At all!” you agreed.

And for another half hour, it was just you and Anton beneath the silver stars and golden fairy lights. You even followed each other on instagram, which made you realize how many followers he had.

"How'd it go?” Shotaro asked when you were alone again. 

“better than I thought,” you said. “he’s cool, like you said.”

Shotaro was beaming. he nudged your side playfully. “You're welcome.”

There were suspicions boiling underneath that you hadn’t let surface yet. "Is that what this is about?” you asked, crossing your arms. “you’re trying to play cupid?”

Shotaro was coy. “I don't know what you mean. I was just helping two friends meet people they might enjoy the company of. What happens from there on out is out of my hands…”

“Right,” you murmured, shaking your head. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to get a finger or two involved.”

Shotaro laughed and dismissed himself, claiming he needed to check on his other guests.

Two days later, Anton had posted a picture of a very tiny cupcake with his hand beside it. He tagged Sohee in the post, but the only thing you could fix yourself to think about was how insanely large his hands were. His fingers were long and slender, a little pink around the knuckles, and his veins ran down the back of his hand beneath his skin like a green river.

You stared at the picture too long before coming to your senses and liking the post, ignoring the fact that you could feel yourself faintly throbbing as you thought about how deep his fingers could reach, and what they could make you feel.

Oh my god, you thought. I need to die.

just your luck, the day after that, you saw him again. Shotaro and Wonbin invited you out for lunch, which you thought was suspiciously abrupt, but then Wonbin mentioned Anton would be in attendance too, and everything made sense.

What made even more sense was that the two of them sat together, which forced you to sit beside Anton while you ate your dumplings.

Anton asked, “are they good?”

you nodded happily. “if only Eunseok were here.”

Wonbin laughed. “those two give each other a run for their money.”

“thank god Sungchan is busy,” you said. “he plays entirely too much. I don't need him trying to steal my shit.”

Shotaro finished chewing. “He had class with Sohee, right?” he asked. He turned to Anton. “Speaking of Sohee, what were you guys doing when you decided to post a thirst trap?”

Anton smiled timidly and looked away. “I wasn't thirst-trapping.”

“You were definitely thirsttrapping,” Wonbin teased. 

Anton threw his head back, and for a second you swore he glanced your way, then his eyes darted around again. “Let me explain. There were two boxes of cupcakes, the small ones and the big ones, and Sohee and I competed for the big one, but he won.”

Wonbin snickered. “Did you let him win?”

Anton shook his head. “Of course not.” but even as he said that, everyone knew he was lying.

As you were leaving, the bill paid and your goodbyes bid, Anton stopped you on the way to your car. “Hey. I have some beats you might like. You could always come check them out.”

Oh, he was serious about that, you thought, somewhat surprised. “Yeah, that sounds good,” you told him, grinning a little too hard. “when were you thinking?”

“I’m free this weekend,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Okay, I'll check my schedule,” you said. “I'll DM you?”

Anton nodded. “great. let me walk you to your car.”

And he did. He followed you across the parking lot and opened the door for you, ever the gentleman. “and they say chivalry is dead,” you said. 

Anton chuckled. “get home safe.” When the door closed after you, he walked away.

That weekend, you were not free, but you rid yourself of all obligations solely so that you could be alone with him. It was far from your proudest moment, but some things were more important.

Anton texted you the address of his family home, and when you arrived, led you down the studio he had. “this is where i raised,” he said lightheartedly.

You glanced around. It was a very lovely, cozy studio. “ah, yes. Who needs a village when you have a computer, microphones, and monitors?”

Anton chuckled. “speaking of which…” he trailed off, guiding you over to the computer. 

The first few minutes were spent listening to some beats he wanted you to hear, and you were appreciative of what you were listening to. The third one he played spoke to you for some reason, though he had meant to click on another, and you blurted, “wait, let this one play through.”

Anton obliged, watching you listen, bobbing your head along. After a moment, he asked, “do you like this one?”

“Yeah,” you said, your brain already bulging with ideas. “I want to add a bass though. I have an idea.”

Anton nodded over to the bass guitar hanging in the corner of the room. “i play bass.”

That was when things started getting serious. He went to grab the bass, and you shared your thoughts, making sounds that he would emulate. For a moment you watched his fingers as he played, but there were other things on your mind, and you had to get those ideas out before they escaped you indefinitely.

“That’s fire,” you ended up saying. “I want to add a synth over it.”

Anton showed you some plugins he had. “you’ll want to check this out.”

A couple of hours went by, but when you were in your zone, you hardly paid attention to how much time was passing. By now you were tweaking the project to add percs, delay, and ultimately settled on layering stacked chords over the drums.

When you and Anton let the track play, both of you were impressed with yourselves. “you’re a genius,” he said softly.

you shook your head. “teamwork makes the dream work.”

Anton seemed to agree. “I didn't want to say this earlier, because I didn't want to disrupt the flow,” he started, “but you smell really good.”

your face felt hot. “Thank you.”

for a moment after that, it was silent. 

Then, Anton asked in a whisper, “Can I kiss you?”

That was the moment you realized you weren’t deluding yourself about him being into you. His eyes were on you—piercing and unrelenting—and shortly after, his lips were too.

It was a tentative kiss at first. Anton was merely testing the waters, feeling you react against him, and his confidence grew as he went on, his lips still tender, but his movements more assured.

you let it happen. Your heart was speeding out of your chest and your body felt light as a cloud. It was a pleasant sensation, one you found you didn’t want to go away now or ever.

What caught you by surprise was how Anton took the lead in the matter. He pressed you against the wall. as the seconds ticked by, his kisses grew more passionate, and you fought to keep up as he kissed you with abandon. his lips parted from yours to journey down your jaw and neck, a moment of respite so that you both could breathe, then he was on you again, and your fingers were threading through his hair.

“Anton,” you gasped, but the sound was swallowed whole. 

“shit,” he groaned. His hands were gripping your hips.

you could feel him growing erect against your thigh and it made your head spin. that, and the fact that you were so close you had no choice but to inhale his scent as you tasted him on your tongue. your own body was pulsing with need, and you were restless in his arms. Your knees felt weak, like any moment you could go down, if not for him being there to hoist you upright. 

he pulled away to whisper, “tell me you want it too.”

“i want it too,” you said, breathless.

That was all he needed to hear to lead you out of the studio, the song forgotten for now. It would be there when he was finished with you, but it would be a while until then. Anton took you to his bedroom and closed the door.

The room felt hot. your clothes felt like burdens. When Anton turned away from the door, he walked toward you, slowly. You took a step back for every step he took forward, feeling your heart jumping, until the back of your legs hit the bed. but he didn’t stop. not until you fell back and he fell over you, and his lips met yours again.

This time his hips moved against you unabashedly, little noises leaving him as he tried to soothe himself. You knew he felt the same burning that was tormenting you from the inside out. He sucked at your neck, leaving marks in the flesh there. Then he pulled away and said, “sit on my face. use my mouth.”

just those words made you dizzy. you unbuckled your jeans, and he pulled them off you in a hurry. when you reached for the band of your underwear, he stopped you, “keep this on.”

you nodded wordlessly. Words were fragile things. Anton lay down so you could mount on his face. as you settled over him, he started to lick at your pussy through your panties, his hands resting on your thighs.

you could feel his tongue through them. He wasn’t starting slow. There was none of the reluctance from before, every bit of it had been shed to make way for his new skin, and he went at it like he knew exactly what he was doing, or exactly how to figure it out.

“Anton,” you murmured. Your arousal was a fierce thing with a mind of its own, and it was taking control of your body and mind.

Anton squeezed your thighs, sucking at you as he kneaded your flesh, letting his hands roam freely rather than keep them in one place. your panties that were already damp with the evidence of your desire were becoming wetter as his saliva added to the moisture gathering there.

your breaths were shallow. you could only imagine what it would feel like when his lips came in contact with your bare skin, and the thought only made you more impatient.

Perhaps Anton could feel you getting restless, because after a moment, he slipped your panties to the side and tasted you without the fabric of your underwear getting in the way. you gasped out, “fuck.”

His mouth was so warm against your skin. He licked at your clit, one hand remaining clamped on your thigh while the other went to your stomach, and you couldn’t help but grind down against his face.

you tipped your head back. “like that.”

he kissed your folds and licked at your clit, none too aggressive, experimenting with the amount of pressure to get you moaning and rocking against his mouth. It was a soft, sweet act, and you could hear every taste, every suck, the wet sound of his lips pleasing you as you leaked more and more against his pretty lips.

his lips pressed against your inner thighs here and there for a fleeting moment, long enough to make you miss it, then he would return to sucking at your clit, making out with your pussy.

“just like that,” you whimpered. “don’t stop. please.”

your brain ceased to function and all you could think about was Anton. How good he was at this, how much you wanted him to keep going, how this could never be the last time. If you knew anything, it was that the memory of him eating you out would haunt you for days to come.

it was the fastest you had ever let anyone see you so intimately, but you couldn’t be bothered to trouble yourself with those thoughts. It felt right at the moment, and it felt even better now, and if every swipe of Anton's tongue kept the doubts and regrets at bay. You didn’t even have it in you to regret not shaving in advance, because it hadn’t deterred him at all.

Anton let his tongue slip inside and it felt like a bomb went off in your stomach as warmth exploded throughout you. “holy fuck,” you stammered. “holy fuck.”

he didn’t let up, exploring the inside of you with his tongue. You could feel his nose nudging against your clit and that it only stoked the flames of the fire ramping up within your core.

“i’m so close,” you whimpered, your hips grinding down against him. It was impossible for you to keep still. 

Anton’s hand shot up, slipping underneath the shirt you hadn’t taken off, and his fingers swiped over your stomach once more before ultimately reaching your chest. he fondled your breasts, cupping them in his terribly large hands, brushing his thumbs over your stiff nipples. he caressed the skin at your ribs and returned to your breasts, catching your nipples gently between his fingers and rubbing them in a circle with his thumbs.

he kept one hand at your breasts while the other wandered down and went behind you to your lower back and your ass. His hands were soft against your skin, rubbing up and down in tender motions that made all the difference.

“yes,” you cried out. Your thighs trembled as your knees clamped around his head in an almost violent manner before you finally went still.

Anton gingerly pushed you off his face and lowered you onto his bed. His lips were glossy with your desire. “can i fuck you?” he asked.

you were still trying to catch your breath, but your answer was an immediate, “fuck, yes.”

Anton went to step out of his pants and shrug off his shirt, and you watched him, watched as he revealed his bare chest, the skin chiseled and defined. the sight alone nearly finished you again. You were throbbing, aching, even now, and you were so desperate to feel him inside you.

he watched you take your shirt off, revealing the tits he’d cupped to him, and you were almost equally naked, except he stepped out of his boxers, but made sure you kept your panties on. for whatever reason.

When he spread your legs and got between them, he didn’t immediately enter you like you thought he would. He rubbed his cock against the dark, wet part of your underwear, back and forth, feeling how drenched you were through your panties.

“fuck,” Anton groaned. you didn’t know if he was teasing you or testing himself.

you watched him. Maybe it was a good thing that he wasn’t diving headfirst. He was fully erect and you would be blind not to notice how big he was. You didn’t know how he was going to fit.

Anton slipped his cock underneath the edge of your panties and came out through the upper right corner of them, and you sucked in a gasp as you felt him brush against your clit. He slipped through your folds, coating his length in your slick that was only building the longer he kept tempting you. “you’re so wet,” he murmured. “for me?”

“yeah,” you said. “Anton, please…”

“please, what?”

your face was hot, but you were past the point of embarrassment. “please fuck me. I want to feel you inside me.”

“I want that too,” he said. “I want to feel your pussy around me, I want to hear how loud it gets for me when I'm inside you.”

oh my god. “Then what’s stopping you?” you grumbled. 

“nothing,” he said, glancing up at you for a moment with a raised brow and a little smile on his face. “how bad do you want it?”

“You know how bad I want it,” you said. You reached down to grab him, twisting your hand around his dick. 

“fuck…” Anton grunted. he fucked your fist while simultaneously rubbing himself against your cunt.

At last, he pushed your hand away, tapped his dick against your pussy a few times, and pushed himself inside you.

you gasped. He wasn't entirely sheathed yet, but it was enough to make you jolt. “oh my god.”

Anton raised a brow. “I'm barely inside you.” he chuckled and smoothed his finger over your hip. “Tell me when I can go deeper,” he said.

you nodded, willing yourself to relax. Even with how evidently aroused you were and your wetness leaking down your thighs, it wasn’t much easier. “Anton…”

“I know,” he whispered. He leaned in to kiss you, then met your eyes. “just breathe, okay?”

you nodded again. A few moments passed, but Anton didn’t rush you. He knew for most people he was… an adjustment. “Okay. deeper.”

Anton was relieved. He sank even deeper within you, a weak noise of his own escaping him. you whimpered the further he went inside, but you didn’t tell him to stop. He kissed you through it, hoping to distract you the best he could, but nothing could take your mind off the way his cock was thoroughly stretching you out.

“can i move?” he asked when he sheathed to the hilt. 

“wait,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around him. “okay. yeah.”

“fuck,” Anton hissed. his eyes lowered, watching himself disappear in and out of your slippery cunt. “Is this what you've been wanting?”

“yes,” you stammered out.

Anton smiled. “I know it is.”

as he drove inside you, you could hear the wet smack of your bodies meeting, the joining of skin echoing on the walls. It made Anton crazy. “Do you hear that?” he asked.

you flushed at how loud the sound was. “yeah, i hear it…”

"Don't be shy,” he said, bringing his face to your neck. “that’s just how bad we want each other.”

it was unignorable, the sound, the wetness, the heat of your bodies pressed together. There was no denying the mutual desire.

you dragged your nails down his back. Anton groaned, the line between pain and pleasure narrow in his mind. “mark me…” he rasped.

you were convinced he was insane, but you were beginning to enjoy that about him.

“Look at me,” he said softly, grabbing your neck. The grip wasn’t tight, but it got your attention. Your eyes met his as you gasped and moaned beneath him, throbbing at hand around your throat, his cock reaching places you never even knew were there.

“you’re so beautiful,” he murmured, staring into your eyes. “i wanted to fuck you like this since the very first night i saw you.”

“I wanted you too…” you confessed.  The eye contact was too much, and you glanced away. 

“no, beautiful,” he said, tilting your head back. He tightened his grip a little bit. “look at me.”

“Sorry,” you whispered.

Anton smiled. “you want to know what I thought about doing when Shotaro introduced you to me?”

your eyes flickered with curiosity. “what?”

Anton stopped and pulled out of you, but you didn’t have time to mourn, because seconds later, he told you to get on your hands and knees, and he entered you again from behind.

“oh, shit,” you moaned. it felt like he was even deeper than he was before.

Anton felt his mind reel. You were so tight and wet around him, it was all he could do not to come then and there. “Can I record you?” he asked very softly. “please? you look so pretty… I won't show anyone, I promise.”

it would be a lie if you said you didn’t like filming yourself in the act. “um, yeah…”

Anton grabbed his phone from the nightstand and pressed record soon after. He pressed you down against the mattress and pinned you there with one hand, your moans becoming muffled as your face got pushed into the sheets. but not for long. Anton adjusted your face to the side. “want to hear you,” he murmured. “i want to hear all the sounds you’re making for me.”

“Anton, please don’t stop,” you begged.

“wasn’t planning on it,” he grunted. “your pussy feels so good around me.” he smacked your ass, which made you cry out in surprise. “i knew you would feel so good. look how pretty you get for me.” he lowered the camera to wear your bodies met, your underwear drenched and pushed aside as his cock pounded you with a loud, sticky sound. he made sure to capture how messy it was down there.

you felt delirious, like you weren’t there in your own mind, but in some distant place where only the sensation of him hitting that sweet spot inside you could reach. you had no idea how badly you needed this until now, now that you couldn’t think about anything but this.

Anton felt himself beginning to grow bored of the position and pulled out again. He sat on the bed. “come here,” he said, pulling you up gingerly. 

you crept over and he pulled you onto his lap. 

“use my dick,” he murmured. “use me to make yourself cum.”

you did not need to be told twice. You settled on top of him and sank down, gripping his shoulders for purchase. The room smelled of sweat and sex, and a blend of the scents each of you used. But you were focused on how good it felt to be full of him. No one had ever stretched you the way he was.

Anton rested a hand on your hip, but he let you take the lead. he used the other hand to record you as you rocked your hips against his, no detail lost on him. he got the way you threw your hair back when it fell down your breasts, the way you tipped your head back and moaned his name, the way your lips hung open and your body shuddered.

he wasn’t going to last much longer. He knew that much. he didn’t want to intervene, not when you looked so pretty riding him so hard and taking what you wanted, but he also didn’t want to come first.

Anton reached to grab your throat. “goddamn, i’m not going anywhere,” he teased. “you look so good riding me like that, though. making yourself feel good.”

that sent a fire through your veins. The hand around your throat was like gasoline. “yes, yes, yes… Anton!” you cried out. 

“Do you like that?” Anton tightened his grip. “You like my hands, don’t you?”

that sent you over the edge. You felt the warmth set off in the pit of your stomach and erupt to every corner of your body. your pussy clenched around him as you trembled with ecstasy. Anton grabbed your hip tightly to hold you through it. “that’s it, gorgeous,” he grunted. “i got you. i’m right here.”

“Anton,” you whimpered again. 

“shh,” he said, running his hand up your back soothingly. the way your face tensed with pleasure as you came around him had him seconds away from boiling over. “That's it. You did so good for me.”

you went slack against him. Anton drove up into you, making you cling to his shoulders tightly as you took it. “fuck…”

“i’m gonna come,” Anton said. he set his phone so he could hold your hips with both hands. he looked up at you, his lips parted and his eyes damp. “please… please, pretty girl. let me come inside you. let me fill this pretty pussy up. Please, let me have this. i need it- oh, fuck… goddamn, i can’t hold back anymore, i’m gonna fuck you full.”

He sounded so good when he begged. “yes—” you gasped.

Anton swore as he spilled inside you, hands clamping down on your thighs. When you watched his face, it looked like he was resetting.

He took his time before he pulled out. When he did, he made sure to record his cum leaking from your dripping pussy, proof of how thoroughly he had wrecked you from within. “Goddamn,” he muttered. He slipped your panties back in place.

“They're ruined,” you whined.

Anton chuckled. “so… you won’t be needing them, is what I'm hearing?”

You smacked his chest. “you’re a pervert.”

“i’m a gentleman,” Anton said, smiling coyly. His face was tinged red. he gathered you in his arms and hoisted you in the arm. you yelped, reaching for his arms. “I'm going to clean up the mess I made. It's only fair.”

all you wanted to do was quietly use the bathroom and you decided to leave the light off to like… save energy. only to end up being scared out of your skin by one of anton’s late night companions.

“god, what the hell!” the girl jumped backwards, almost hitting her head on the doorframe as you reached to cover yourself. “who are you??”

you raised a brow. you knew who she could have been, but—

“girl, who are you?” you countered.

you knew damn well you should have kept your mouth shut, because you got called the fuck out. ‘well, anton didn’t say he had a girlfriend, are you his girlfriend? did i just wreck a home?’ uh.. no. ‘how come you weren’t here when we got back but you’re here now?’ uhh… ‘if you’re not his girl, and he has no roommates, why are you here in the middle of the night?’ … — deep down you knew you were the problem here.

unlike anton, you weren’t lucky enough to have parents who would pay for you to live in a nice little apartment for the entirety of college, so you lived with your two roommates; one of which was at the height of a lover’s quarrel with her partner. things had gotten so bad between them that the morning of this incident — or rather the morning before — seeing as it happened at around 2am, anton kindly agreed to let you come back to his place after you finished work, and spend the weekend there. and so, you weren’t there when anton and this poor girl got back to his apartment, because your shift ended about an hour after they had knocked each other out. you poor soul.

“why would you say that?” anton laughed at you, “you don’t live here.”

like you didn’t know that… asshole. you flopped down in one of the dining chairs, attempting to flip your half drank water bottle, at his kitchen table. and failing. “i just couldn’t stop myself from giving attitude. because, why are you trying to talk to me and i’m on the toilet… i needed her gone out the room.”

“well. she’s never gonna text me now.”

“no?” you rose a brow at him, “well, would you have responded?”

anton was notorious (within your two person friendship) for losing the numbers of girls that he slept with. that or somehow indirectly manifesting for them to lose his number, so he had no choice but to move on to the next. he didn’t see this as sleazy, fuckboy activity, however. he was simply just moving forwards through life. so in response to your question? anton just smiled back at you from where he was stood in the kitchenette. he didn’t know the answer. not for sure at least.

“you know she thought we were dating. she was so mad at you.”

his eyebrows shot up, “well, did you defend me?”

“i said i would never date you, and that i was visiting because of the thing with my roommate.” in a display of nonchalance, you pressed down on your baby hairs and just looked on at him.

“wow,” anton pushed up off the counter and took his bowl to the sink. “that’s sweet of you.”

“y’know.” you waited for him to turn back and face you. “if i was one of these girls, i would hate the both of us.”

“why?”

you looked towards the ceiling, as if to try and find the words to say. “well, i feel like i’m always here— like at your place. and we know almost everything about each other, i got a key to your house; we’re just, like, a little too close.”

“first of all, you’re not here enough—”

you shot him a glare and he threw his hands up in defence. “anton, do you not see the problem with that statement?”

anton pursed his lips in supposedly deep thought. “damn. i think you’ve been cockblocking me.”

the way your brain short-circuited hearing him say that— usually it was you cursing. never him. “you’ve been cockblocking yourself, toni.”

“no, but i’m being serious. the girl i brought home was not the first girl i talked to that night. that usually doesn’t happen.” anton came to sit by you at the table, putting a chair right next to yours but turning it the opposite direction so he could be facing you. subconsciously, you rest your feet on his thighs causing him to catch your ankles in his hands as you tried not to roll your eyes at possibly the most sleazy, frat boy coded statement you had ever heard.

“do you actually hear yourself sometimes? this is not the sweet toni i grew up with. you’re something else.”

“god, you’re right.” he laughed out. “i think all the attention is getting to my head.”

you leaned forward towards him, “oh, you think so?”

anton pushed your shoulder gently, “leave me alone, i’m coming to terms with it, i’m—” he struggled to find the word, “i’m self-reflecting.”

and then he paused. “does our friendship get you any less romantic attention?”

“hmm.” you had to think about it. though anton claims not to be a fuckboy intentionally — or what you liked to call a ‘self-proclaimed pussy magnet’ — you knew yourself that you weren’t as… sexually outgoing (?) as anton. “no less than i had before, i guess. people that know you, know about our weird little friendship and then; you poor thing, you have to talk to two girls before you can get laid. but the people that know just me don’t necessarily know about our weird little friendship.”

“huh.”

“‘cause i’m not trying to be like one of those girls that tells everyone about, ‘my homeboy this, my homeboy that’ and then everyone assumes we’re fucking and i cant even defend myself.”

anton tried to ignore his face warming up, “no, yeah. hah, is that really a thing?” a thought was definitely being formed.

“yes, bro, even i cringe at it. i don’t wanna be that girl.”

“wait so, some of these guys, these friends, are actually like, sleeping with each other?” anton scratched the back of his neck, that was prickling with nerves.

“i mean, yeah, probably. the way they act.” you just laughed obliviously while anton’s mind started to fill up with ideas. like, say, if you were the kind of person who talked to others about your friendship with anton. would people think you’re so close that you might as well just.. be with each other? would people accuse you of sleeping together or dating even if you weren’t?

“yo, imagine if that was us…”

your head jolted in his direction and pure confusion painted your features in an incredulous expression, “anton, can you not… oh my god.”

his head dropped in laughter. as well as defeat.

but you missed that, so you continued. “no, that would be horrible. why would you even put that in my head?”

“so, i’m actually right here.” anton waved his hand at you and you laughed.

“no, no,” rushing to defend yourself, “not in a mean way, i just. i wouldn’t like the attention from people and, yeah, no. i don’t know.”

“yeah, okay. i get that.”

“why do you ask anyway? what would you think if it was us?” you prodded back. you would never let him ask such a stressful question without getting him back. you needed to get even.

“oh.” anton was starting to think he should have never tried it with you. however. you getting that nervous from his initial asking the question gave him a slither of confidence. “i mean. i think that it would be interesting. it’d be kinda cool to see if we could get to know each other any more than we already do.”

“in what sense?”

“like sex stuff.” anton’s voice was soft and quiet. “like what you’re into, stuff like that.”

“wouldn’t you like to know, chanyoung.”

he smiled at you, squinting in acknowledgement of your teasing “i would. tell me something.”

you gave it some thought before replying, “are you serious?”

he replied, “are you?”

you weren’t entirely sure what that meant, but you took at as a case of ‘i am if you are, and if you’re not, neither am i.’

“okay, anton. it’s 9 in the morning, but sure uh.. i like a submissive man.”

the tips of anton’s ears grew hot. “oh, wow. tell me more.”

you laughed in his face. because no way these are the lines he uses when he’s picking up girls every other night. this was going to be the most embarrassing conversation you had ever had. like, ever. you crossed your legs over each other, still over anton’s thighs.

“there’s nothing more to that statement really. your turn.”

“i like… kissing. but not just normal kissing like.. kissing.” he dragged the word out a little, really putting umph on it like you were gonna know exactly what he was talking about. you were so annoyed.

“be so for real for a second.”

“what?!”

you sighed. “no, cause i really got a lot from that, thank you. now, i wish i’d kept quiet.”

“what, no! i’m just bad at explaining things.” you tried to retract your legs from anton’s and he grabbed your calf in attempts to stop you from curling in on yourself out of pure embarrassment.

you covered your face. “yeah, really bad.”

“listen, i could show you better than i can tell you.”

“i bet you could, toni, but that’s not gonna turn back time.” you immediately shot him down. before you realised. “wait okay, you can show me.”

“oh, i didn’t think you’d agree. i thought the idea of getting intimate with me was horrible?”

“i mean that’s if people are aware of it and like… try to talk to me about it at school. right now, nobody knows. so i guess it’s less horrible.”

“alright, c’mere.” anton held out his hand for you to lean into, taking your face in his hands and pressing his lips to yours. gently pecking your lips a couple times before ghosting the tip of his tongue along your bottom lip, asking for permission. he ran the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip before pulling away just slightly to whisper, “can you open up a little?”

you furrowed your brows up at him and he took that as confusion, laughing a little “i wanna put my tongue there.”

you parted your lips a little and he kissed you with tongue, making the both of you sigh quietly. with each movement of his jaw and of his lips against yours, his tongue made contact with yours and it triggered a build of warmth in your lower abdomen. each time his tongue licked into your mouth, it pulled a whine out of the back of your throat. your hands rose up into his hair and your breathing started to quicken. at this point, even though you were feeling significantly warmer than you did a few seconds ago, you still didn’t realise what made this any different from ‘regular’ kissing. you figured anton was just being dramatic. that was until he sucked your tongue into his mouth along with your bottom lip. this made you straight up moan — you had to pull away.

“holy shit, anton.”

anton wiped the saliva off of his plush lips with his thumb. “see it’s like kissing but it’s kissing.”

“what the hell.” you huffed out in a deep exhale, twisting a curl around one of your fingers. you didn’t even know what to do with yourself after that.

anton tried to stop his eyes from dropping down to your heaving chest in the tight baby tee you were wearing as pajamas. he wanted to remain composed after putting the moves on you; maintain his shy, yet simultaneously confident demeanour. and then he remembered what you mentioned earlier. anton softened his voice ever so slightly. —if that was even possible.

“you know, you’re a really good kisser.” he held eye contact with you and the delivery of his sentence immediately made you wet.

“um, thank you.”

anton leaned closer to you, keeping his voice hushed despite the fact that you were the only two people in the apartment. “i didn’t expect it to, but kissing you made me really hard.”

“shit, really?” you were overwhelmed. you had just been kissed breathless by your best friend and now he was laying his truths all out on the table.

“i know you feel a type of way about it, but… i wanna fuck you."

“anton…”

“please,” you felt his thumbs rub you from both sides of your hips that he was now holding in his hands. he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth that made your eyes flutter closed. “i know it would feel so good.”

“toni, when you ask me like that—“

“you like that?” anton practically purred before attaching his soft lips to the curve of your neck. his hand slid down the front of your pajama pants to start rubbing you over your panties at a torturingly slow pace. “when i beg you like that? i know you do, you’re soaked.”

“fuck, toni…” you grabbed onto his shoulder for balance, lifting one of your knees higher to grant him a better angle at rubbing those tight circles over your bundle of nerves.

“hey, look at me.” he rubbed your clit faster, “can i make you cum before i fuck this pussy? huh? please?”

you could only lean back and moan in response.

“come on you gotta tell me. can i please?”

“mm-hm. yes, yes, baby.”

you dug your nails into his bicep and he groaned. “can i get i kiss, too?”

in a low whine, you pressed your lips to his, moaning into his mouth as you started getting closer to orgasm.

“yeah, moan for me just like that, baby. that’s so fucking hot. you gonna cum for me?”

you nodded at him and he continued with the same relentless pace of his fingers against your clothed clit until your hips started to shake with your orgasm.

“fuck, you’re so sexy when you cum for me. you gonna let me fuck you, mama?”

you were breathless in shock. in all your years of being friends with this anton, he had never talked so nasty.

anton swiftly lifted you onto the table and yanked your pajama pants down with your panties. with big, soft hands, he kneaded your thighs, “you’re dripping in front of me.”

“well, i just came.”

this made anton laugh, “well, i’m gonna make you cum again. ‘kay?”

you nodded as he pulled his dick out of his basketball shorts and started to jerk himself off, rubbing his tip against your slit. you went to hold onto his back with one hand and he took this as a sign that you were ready for him. pushing into you slowly, he muffled his own moan against your lips.

somehow, after only just put his dick in you, he was already a mess. “mmh, fuck you feel good. you feel so good around me.”

anton’s arms wrapped under your thighs, and started bringing your hips to meet his faster.

“fuck, toni, right there!”

he moaned into a sloppy kiss to your lips, “mm, right there? ‘m i hitting it right?”

“yes, keep going. you’re doing so good..”

anton didn’t change his position, only moving one of his hands to start rubbing your clit again. “fuck, keep talking to me like that.”

you held his neck to pull him closer to you, “you’re so good. and you look so pretty when you’re fucking me.”

all of your praise was going straight to anton’s dick. he was visibly finding it increasingly harder to keep himself together. he leaned forward to get closer to you, grinding his hips into yours. peppering kisses all over your bare chest.

“ah- uhm, i wanna cum. wanna cum for you.” anton’s voice was barely above a whisper as he rambled against your chest, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth to mumble his pathetic sounds. although, to no avail, he was still mumbling to you, teeth grazing the skin.

“you can cum toni, i’m close too.”

“you gotta cum first, baby,” what a gentleman. “if you cum first that’s gonna make me c-cum.” anton whined flicking his tongue against one of your nipples as if to punctuate, “ugh, please.”

maybe about 30 more seconds of anton’s desperate whimpering pushed you over the edge. and you didn’t want to dwell to much on why this was, but it was surely one of the most pleasurable orgasms you had ever had. and the irregular clenching of your pussy around his dick was completely it for him. he pulled out of you cautiously and instead of jerking himself to completion all over your naked body, he was reduced to grinding against your wet pussy, panting and sighing until his own orgasm washed over him.

“shit, anton are you crying?” you cradled his face, wiping away a stray tear with your thumb. he couldn’t even reply — he was inside of you, but you fucked the shit out of him.

“i’m a fuckin’ mess. i think we might have some built up tension or something.” anton got up from where he was leant against your chest. he pulled his shorts up and flopped down into a dining chair, dropping his head down onto one of your thighs where your legs were hanging off the table.

you shifted from your position of sitting up on your elbows to laying your back flat on the kitchen table. “don’t even say that.”

“okay.”

the two of you sat in your silence. it was comfortable silence for you, you hoped it was for him too.

without moving from where he was laid on your thigh, anton’s hand tapped against your leg to grab your attention. “so was that horrible for you, or?”

you could only laugh. “shut the fuck up, anton.”

─────────────────────

anton loves being in control. he's always the one towering over you, making you feel small, teasing you. but deep down, you know he loves being on the receiving end even more. he can't help taking the lead whenever you're around even if it goes against what he truly wants. you know he'll only fall into his destined position if he's caught off guard.

you find him spread out on the couch watching tv, he doesn't even notice you approaching. you plop down against his side, facing him. he mumbles an absent greeting, eyes boring into the screen.

your hand goes over his clothed stomach, feeling the dents of his muscles with your palm. he glances down at your hand for a moment before looking back up. you continue feeling him up, reaching to feel his muscular chest for a split second. he's visibly distracted now. "wow." you whisper, slipping your hand under his shirt.

"how often do you work out?" you trace his abs with your fingertips. you already know the answer, but you'll do anything to hear his affected voice.

"few times a week." he breathes out.

your head rests on his chest, the bass of his pounding heart flooding your ear. your wandering hand trails to his bicep, squeezing it gently. "so big and strong," you murmur, "what are you training for?" you crane your neck to see his face. his eyes flutter shut every time you give him a squeeze. your palm leaves his arm and he regains consciousness, mouthing a 'huh' when he realizes you'd asked him something.

you reach down to grasp at his thigh through the thick fabric of his sweats, "you train legs too right? a lot of guys only focus on their upper body." you're barely doing anything and he already looks so bothered, your head rising and falling along with his heaving chest. you feel movement when his chin slightly bumps the top of your head, but can't guess if he's nodding in response or not. "you do?" you look up at him, he's staring down at your hand intensely, like he's trying to control it with his mind.

"yes." he says quietly.

your other arm that's been wedged between your body and the couch stretches to rest behind his neck, fingers threading through his hair as he lets out a loud sigh.

your hand creeps back up to his toned stomach, purposely skipping over the growing bulge in his pants. your nails drag against the hard-earned definition of his abs, you can hear his heartbeat quickening when your hand glides down, two fingers slipping just past the waistband of his sweats. they stay there unmoved, "should i start working out too? i feel like i'm missing out on something."

when he opens his mouth to respond, you press down on his lower abdomen, earning what sounds like a low groan mixed with his usual exhales. "are you okay?" you ask lightly, withdrawing your digits and patting the cloth of his waistband as if you're smoothing something.

"no, wait. please." he says hurriedly.

"please what?" if he wasn't so desperate you're sure he would have rolled his eyes. you wait for him to part his lips in response, eager to play your sound-drawing trick on him again.

but instead, his hand envelopes the back of yours. your fingers intertwined, when he guides you directly where he wants.

he retrieves his hand and leaves you in control.

"why can't you react normally when i compliment you?" you tease.

"your way of complimenting," he pauses, letting out a groan when you palm him over his sweats. "isn't normal." he finishes the sentence, his voice rising by the end of it when you grab his length.

"you don't like normal." you tug his sweats and boxers down together slowly, freeing his hard cock. he's already leaking.

he looks at you with wide eyes when you move like you're about to touch him, but then stop midway, raising your palm up to his chin.

your head motions towards your hand when he looks at you dumbfounded. you know he knows what to do, he just wants you to say it.

"spit." you order.

it's obvious he's fighting back a smile while he gathers as much saliva as he can in his mouth, before parting his lips and letting it spill into your palm.

you cup your hand, tilting it so the spit drips down his length.

you give him one long stroke, spreading the wetness so it coats his whole cock. his head instantly tips back against the couch, slack-jawed. you massage his tip with your thumb and he lets out a whimper. "you're so sensitive." you say.

he only nods. you begin stroking his length up and down slowly, earning breathy moans. "you like that?"

he huffs out a quiet 'yeah', biting his lip harshly when you grip the base of his cock. you sit up, your hand that was tangled in his hair reaching under his shirt, feeling for his abs again. "you're so hot, anton." you purr, stroking him faster. "i'd go to the gym with you if it meant you'd fuck me in the locker room."

"fuck." he ruts into your hand.

you egg him on. "it'd feel like this." your grip on him tightens, trying to simulate how you'd clench around him.

he lets out a guttural moan, bucking his hips up to fuck your hand. his eyes are screwed shut, you know he's imagining it.

you can tell he's getting close as his hips stutter, so you purposely slow the pace, stroking him lazily. "already, baby?" you coo at him.

he leaks more precum just from the gentle tone of your voice.

"please continue." he whines.

"you're so cute." you reach up to caress his cheek with your other hand while you continue to stroke him, building up the pace once again. he lets his head fall sideways to rest on your palm, absentmindedly nodding against it when you ask him another meaningless question about the gym.

you gently push his head upright, both hands now going to the base of his cock. with no warning, you duck down and lick the tip. "oh my god." he gasps. you stroke him faster, wrapping your lips around him. he whimpers, "please. faster."

you detach from him and look up to see his eyes closed as he thrusts into your hold, "tell me what you're thinking about." his cock twitches in your hands.

"i'm thinking," he's reckless now, his own hand going over yours to squeeze himself. "i'm thinking about you, fuck," he shuts his mouth to suppress a moan you're still able to hear, muffled. "us at the gym. you counting my reps, then taking me to the back." he whines when you twist around him.

"you wanna fuck me in the gym, baby? have all your friends hear?" you coo at him, or maybe at his dick when you lean down to place a sloppy kiss on the tip. his hips snap upwards, spilling his release all over your hands as he falls apart with a low moan. he's panting when you continue stroking him, milking him of everything.

he nods when you pat his thigh, telling him you're going to go get a towel to clean up his mess. "are you really gonna start going to the gym with me?" he calls out.

The harsh fluorescent lights of the concrete parking garage buzzed overhead, cars were packed bumper to bumper on every level, trunks popped open, music bleeding from portable speakers. The air was thick with the smell of exhaust, alcohol, and the distant, muffled thud of bass vibrating from the stadium a few blocks away.

“Hold still, you’re going to mess up the gems,” Yunjin scolded lightly. She pressed a final iridescent rhinestone near the corner of your eye, using the rearview mirror of Shotaro’s SUV as a makeshift vanity. Stepping back, she admired her handiwork. “Okay. You look devastating. If you don’t ruin at least one man’s life tonight, I’m revoking your rave privileges.”

She pulled out her silver digi cam, the flash blinding you for a second as she snapped a picture of your makeup. Then she squeezed in next to you, pressing her cheek against yours, and held the camera out at arm’s length. The flash went off twice—one normal, one with both of you mid-laugh because Sunoo yelled something stupid from across the trunk.

You laughed, adjusting the straps of your top. You’d gone all out tonight: a black mesh set that hugged every curve, layered under a harness. Your arms were stacked with kandi bracelets, the plastic beads clinking together as you reached for the plastic cup resting on the bumper.

“She’s not ruining anyone’s life, she’s going to be too busy trying not to pass out before the opener finishes,” Sunoo chimed in, appearing at your side. He passed a joint to Yunjin before handing you a plastic cup filled with a mix of peach soju and Yakult. His own face was dusted in silver glitter. “Pace yourself. You just took a shot and hit that twice.”

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip. The alcohol burned pleasantly down your throat, mixing with the warm, heavy buzz of the weed already settling in your limbs.

It wasn’t your first rave, but you were definitely the more casual raver of the group. While Shotaro and Sohee hit festivals almost every other weekend, you usually only tagged along here and there when you had time. Tonight was the final stop of the Illenium and Dabin tour, and it was your first time seeing either of them live. The group chat has been hyped for months.

“Are we moving or what?” Sohee yelled, bouncing on his heels near the concrete stairwell. He and Shotaro were already halfway to the exit, looking back at you three with impatient grins. “We’re going to miss Dabin’s intro!”

“We’re coming!” you shouted back, downing the rest of your drink. You tossed the cup into a nearby trash can, linking arms with Yunjin and Sunoo as you hurried to catch up.

The walk to the festival grounds was a blur of neon outfits, pulsing lasers bleeding into the night sky, and thousands of people vibrating with the same collective anticipation. The alcohol was definitely hitting you now. The edges of your vision were soft, your limbs felt light, and the heavy dubstep echoing from the main stage made your heart race.

You followed Shotaro as he navigated your group through the dense crowd. He was a seasoned raver, weaving through the sea of bodies with practiced ease, his hand firmly gripping Sohee’s backpack so they wouldn’t get separated. You kept one hand on Sunoo’s shoulder as you pushed deeper into the crowd, aiming for a spot just behind the VIP rail.

“We’re meeting a friend of mine here!” Shotaro yelled over his shoulder, his voice barely cutting through the music. “He saved us a spot!”

You finally broke through a particularly dense wall of people, stumbling slightly as the alcohol made your platform boots feel a little heavier than usual. You bumped into a solid wall of a chest, letting out a small gasp.

Large hands immediately caught your shoulders, steadying you before you could fall.

“Careful,” a deep, yet soft voice rumbled above you.

You looked up, and your breath hitched.

Standing there, towering over the rest of the crowd, was a guy who looked like he had been carved out of marble specifically to ruin your life. He was ridiculously tall, with broad shoulders showcased perfectly by a black, sleeveless muscle tank. A silver chain rested against his collarbone, catching the strobe lights. His dark hair was slightly messy, falling into his eyes in a way that looked effortlessly perfect.

Shotaro crashed into him with a massive hug, clapping him on the back. “You actually held the spot! You’re a legend.”

The guy laughed. His voice was a rich, warm rumble that you could feel in your chest even over the heavy bass. He hadn’t let go of your shoulders yet.

Shotaro pulled back and gestured to your group. “Guys, this is Anton. We play soccer together. Anton, this is Sohee, Sunoo, Yunjin, and…” Shotaro’s eyes landed on you, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. “…and this is my favorite person, but don’t tell the others.”

Anton’s gaze shifted down to you. The moment his dark eyes locked onto yours, the rest of the festival seemed to fade into background noise. He looked you up and down, a slow, deliberate sweep that took in the platform boots, the mesh, the harness, and the few gems around your eyes. When his eyes finally met yours again, a slow smile spread across his face.

“Hi,” he said, his hands finally dropping from your shoulders. Up close, he smelled like expensive cologne and clean laundry, a sharp contrast to the sweat and smoke of the crowd.

“Hi,” you breathed back, suddenly hyper-aware of how much skin you were showing, and how warm your cheeks felt from the vodka.

“Okay, group photo before we lose each other!” Yunjin interrupted, pulling out her silver digi cam. She shoved it into Anton’s hands since he was the tallest. “Take one of us?”

Anton chuckled, taking the small camera. He took a step back, crouching slightly to frame you and Yunjin as she threw an arm around your waist. Right before he pressed the button, his eyes flicked up from the screen, catching yours over the top of the camera for a beat too long. The flash went off, blinding you for a second, but you could still feel the weight of his stare. He handed the camera back to Yunjin before turning his attention fully back to you.

“First time seeing Illenium?” he asked, leaning down slightly so you could hear him over the music.

“First time seeing him, yeah,” you admitted, having to tilt your head up to meet his eyes. The size difference between you was staggering. He was a wall of solid muscle, his presence completely enveloping you. “Not my first rave, but… I don’t go as often as the other guys.”

“I can tell,” Anton murmured, his eyes dropping to your lips for a fraction of a second before flicking back up. He tilted his head, studying your flushed face. “You pregamed a little hard, didn’t you?”

You blinked, feeling caught. “Is it that obvious?”

“Just a little,” he chuckled, the sound low and incredibly attractive. “Stick close to me. The crowd gets rough when the headliners come on, we don’t want you getting trampled.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. As Dabin took the stage and the crowd surged forward, Anton naturally positioned himself just behind you. He didn’t touch you, but you could feel the heat radiating off his chest, a solid, protective barrier between you and the crushing weight of the thousands of people pushing from behind.

The set was incredible, but about thirty minutes in, the combination of the heavy bass, the flashing strobe lights, and the alcohol you had downed in the parking garage started to catch up with you. The air in the middle of the crowd was stiflingly hot. You swayed slightly, pressing a hand to your forehead as a wave of dizziness washed over you.

Instantly, Anton’s hands were on your waist. “Hey. You okay?”

You leaned back against his chest instinctively, closing your eyes. “Just… a little dizzy. It’s really hot.”

“Alright, come here,” Anton said smoothly. He didn’t ask Shotaro or the others. He just wrapped an arm securely around your waist and gently but firmly guided you out of the thickest part of the crowd, moving toward the slightly more open space near the back rail.

He found a spot where the air was cooler and the bodies weren’t pressed so tightly together. He turned you around to face him, his hands resting on your hips. “Better?”

“Yeah,” you exhaled, opening your eyes. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Anton said softly. He reached into his small crossbody bag and pulled out an unopened bottle of water, twisting the cap off before handing it to you. “Drink this. Slowly.”

You took it, sipping the cool water gratefully. Anton stood in front of you, blocking you from the chaotic flow of people walking by. He reached up, using his large hand to gently fan your face, the cool breeze feeling heavenly against your flushed skin. He was so attentive, his dark eyes watching you carefully to make sure the color was returning to your cheeks.

“Thank you,” you murmured, looking up at him.

“Anytime,” he replied, his thumb brushing lightly against your waist. “You feeling sober enough to go back in, or do you want to stay back here for a bit?”

“I’m okay now,” you smiled, the dizziness fading into a pleasant, manageable buzz.

When you moved back to your group, the dynamic had shifted. Anton kept one hand resting lightly on the small of your back the entire time, instead of just standing behind you. Every time the crowd shoved forward, his grip would tighten, pulling you flush against his chest to protect you from the impact. The touch was respectful, but it sent a jolt of electricity straight to your core every single time.

Halfway through Illenium’s set, the music slowed, the heavy bass fading into a soft, melodic acoustic intro. The crowd roared in recognition as the opening chords of “Hearts on Fire” echoed through the stadium.

“You want to see better?” Anton’s voice rumbled right next to your ear, his breath hot against your neck.

You turned your head, your face inches from his. “What?”

“Get on my shoulders,” he offered, a playful glint in his eyes. “You can’t see the visuals from down here.”

Before you could protest, Anton crouched down slightly, tapping his broad shoulders. “Come on. I got you.”

You hesitated for a second, then grabbed his hands to steady yourself. You swung one leg over his shoulder, then the other, and the first thing you noticed was how wide he was. Your thighs barely fit around the span of his shoulders. Then he stood up, lifting you with effortless strength like you weighed nothing. You could feel the muscles in his shoulders and neck shift and tighten beneath your thighs as he adjusted you, his traps solid and warm under the thin fabric of his tank top.

The view was breathtaking. The entire festival grounds stretched out before you, a massive ocean of people swaying in unison under a canopy of lasers. But as incredible as the view was, all you could focus on was the feeling of Anton beneath you.

Your thighs were pressed flush against his neck, his large hands gripping the backs of your thighs to keep you steady. His fingers dug slightly into your skin, a firm, possessive grip that made your breath catch. You could feel every shift of his broad shoulders between your legs—the way they rolled when he adjusted his stance, the hard muscle flexing under your weight like it was nothing.

The beat dropped, a massive, euphoric explosion of sound and light. Confetti cannons erupted, raining colorful paper down on the crowd. You threw your hands up, completely consumed by the music and the adrenaline. Anton’s hands tightened on your thighs, his thumbs stroking the sensitive skin just below your skirt, and a sharp spike of heat coiled low in your belly.

When the song ended, he slowly lowered you back down to the ground. You slid down his chest, your body pressing flush against his for a long second before your boots hit the grass.

You were breathless as you looked up at him “Thank you.”

Anton didn’t step back. He stayed exactly where he was, so close you could feel the rise and fall of his chest. His eyes dropped to your lips again, and this time, they stayed there.

The tension between you was thick, pulling you toward him like a magnet. You wanted him to kiss you. You wanted it so badly your skin ached with it.

“Hey!” Sohee’s voice shattered the moment, and you both jumped slightly as he threw an arm around Anton’s shoulders. “We’re going to grab water before the finale. You guys want anything?”

Anton cleared his throat, taking a small step back, though his eyes never left yours. “We’re good. We’ll hold the spot.”

The rest of the night was a blur of heavy bass, blinding lights, and the suffocating tension between you and Anton. You traded kandi with him during a quiet moment, teaching him the PLUR handshake. When your fingers interlocked with his, he held on for a second too long, his thumb tracing the back of your hand. He gave you a bracelet that said RAVE HEAD, and you gave him one that said YOURS. You had made it as a joke, but when he read the beads, his eyes darkened, and he slipped it onto his wrist without a word.

By the time the final fireworks went off and the festival lights came up, you were exhausted. Your ears were ringing, your feet ached, and the adrenaline crash was hitting you hard.

The walk out of the venue was a chaotic mass of thousands of people trying to leave at once. The crisp night air felt amazing against your sweat-slicked skin, but you couldn’t stop a shiver from running down your spine.

Without a word, Anton pulled his black zip-up hoodie out of his backpack and draped it over your shoulders. It was massive on you, swallowing you completely, and it smelled exactly like him.

“Okay,” Shotaro announced as your group huddled near the rideshare pickup zone. “There’s an afterparty at this warehouse downtown. Sohee knows the DJ. We’re all going.”

You groaned internally, leaning your head against Yunjin’s shoulder. “Taro, I love you, but if I hear one more bass drop tonight, my brain is going to liquefy. I’m so tired.”

“You can’t tap out now!” Sunoo protested, though he looked sympathetically at your exhausted expression.

Anton looked down at you, his eyes assessing. He could see the fatigue pulling at your features, the way you were practically holding yourself up with Yunjin’s help.

“My hotel is three blocks from here,” Anton said quietly, addressing Shotaro but looking at you. “I’m not really feeling the afterparty either. I can take her back with me. Let her crash there, and you guys can go.”

Shotaro looked between the two of you, that same knowing smirk returning to his face. “You sure, man? We don’t want to impose.”

“It’s fine,” Anton said, his voice steady. He looked down at you, his dark eyes intense. “If she wants to.”

You pulled the oversized hoodie tighter around yourself, your heart hammering against your ribs. You weren’t drunk anymore, but you were definitely not feeling like going to the after party.

“Yeah,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I want to.”

Yunjin gave you a look that screamed we are talking about this tomorrow in excruciating detail, before hugging you goodbye. You waved to the rest of the group as they piled into a rideshare, leaving you and Anton standing alone on the crowded sidewalk.

“Come on,” Anton said softly, his large hand wrapping around yours. His fingers intertwined with yours perfectly, his grip warm and solid. “Let’s get out of here.”

—

The walk to his hotel was quiet, the ringing in your ears making the city sounds feel muffled. He kept you tucked close to his side, his thumb tracing slow, rhythmic circles over the back of your hand.

His hotel was upscale, the lobby quiet and dimly lit. You rode the elevator up to the fifteenth floor in silence, watching the numbers tick up.

Anton unlocked the door to his room and pushed it open, stepping aside to let you in first. The room was dark, illuminated only by the city lights filtering in through the large window.

The heavy door clicked shut behind him, the sound echoing loudly in the quiet room.

You turned around to face him, but before you could even open your mouth, Anton was there.

He didn’t hesitate. He backed you up against the door, his large hands coming up to cup your face, and crashed his mouth down onto yours.

It was everything that had been building up since the moment you locked eyes in the crowd. You gasped into his mouth, your hands flying up to grip the front of his tank top as his tongue slid past your lips, tasting you like he had been starving for it all night.

“God,” he groaned against your mouth, his hands sliding down from your face to grip your waist, pulling you flush against his massive frame. “I’ve been wanting to do that since the second I saw you.”

You breathed, tilting your head back as his lips trailed down your jaw to the sensitive skin of your neck. “Don’t stop.”

Anton let out a low, ragged sound. He grabbed the hem of his tank top, pulling it over his head and tossing it aside. The sight of him made your breath hitch. He was huge. Broad, thick, and carved with heavy, defined muscle, his skin glowing in the dim light of the city.

He reached for the zipper of your skirt, his large hands making quick work of your rave outfit. The mesh, the harness, the boots—everything was discarded until you were completely bare, standing against the door.

He dropped to his knees right there in the entryway.

Your breath caught in your throat as his large hands gripped the backs of your thighs, pulling your legs slightly apart. He looked up at you, his dark eyes blown wide with lust, the city light catching the sharp angles of his face.

“Anton—” you gasped, your fingers tangling in his dark hair.

“Shh,” he murmured, his breath hot against your center. “Let me taste you.”

He didn’t wait for an answer. He pressed his mouth against you, his tongue swiping in a broad stroke that made your knees buckle. You cried out, head falling back against the door. He was relentless, his large hands gripping your thighs tight enough to bruise, holding you in place as he devoured you.

“So fucking sweet,” he hummed against your slick folds, the vibration sending a jolt straight to your clit. He sucked hard, his tongue flicking with a precision that had you sobbing his name.

“Anton—please—” you babbled, fingers gripping his hair as your hips jerked forward.

He pulled away right before you tipped over the edge, leaving you whining. He stood up, massive frame towering over you, lips slick with your wetness.

Anton led you toward the bed, shedding the rest of his clothes in seconds. He didn’t lay you down. He sat back on his heels, grabbed your hips, and pulled you forward until you straddled his lap.

The size difference was staggering. Sitting on him, you felt incredibly small, his broad chest and thick thighs dwarfing you.

“Ride me,” he whispered, eyes dark and hungry.

You guided his thick, heavy length to your entrance and slowly sank down. The stretch was overwhelming. He was so big you had to stop halfway, a broken whimper tearing from your throat.

“Fuck,” Anton groaned, jaw clenched tight. His hands steadied your hips. “Take your time. You’re so tight.”

You took a shaky breath and forced yourself down the rest of the way. When you finally bottomed out, a loud, shameless moan ripped from your lips. You were completely full, the pressure making your vision blur.

Anton’s hands moved from your hips to rest flat against your lower stomach. His eyes widened.

“Look,” he commanded softly.

You opened your eyes. His large hand was pressed right over the faint, visible press of him against your lower bellythe subtle outline of how deep he was inside you.

“Hmm,” he breathed, thumb tracing the slight bulge. “You take me so well.”

You started to move, lifting and sinking at a slow, agonizing pace. The angle was incredibly deep, every downward thrust making you gasp. Anton watched with hunger, his hand staying firmly pressed against your stomach to feel every inch of himself filling you up.

After a few minutes, Anton let out a frustrated growl. He grabbed your hips and flipped you over in one fluid motion, pinning you face-down against the mattress.

Before you could process the change, he settled between your thighs, lifted your ass slightly, and drove into you from behind with a single, brutal thrust.

You screamed into the pillows. The angle was even deeper now, his broad chest pressing your back, his large hands gripping your hips like a vice.

“You feel so good,” he panted, pace turning frantic. He was relentless, hips snapping forward with bruising force, the wet slap of skin echoing loudly in the quiet room.

He reached around, his large hand sliding down your stomach to find your swollen clit. The moment his thumb pressed against it, your brain short-circuited.

“Anton—ah—wait—” Your voice cracked on a high, broken moan as he bottomed out inside you, thumb circling your clit simultaneously. “It’s too much—”

“You can take it,” he breathed against your ear, his voice thin, strained, almost whiny. “Fuck—you’re squeezing me so tight—” He let out a shaky, desperate sound against your neck. “Don’t stop.”

Your protests dissolved into loud, broken moans. He kept his pace hard and deep, each thrust dragging against oversensitive walls, pulling high, desperate sounds out of you.

“Oh my god—Anton—fuck—” You babbled, words slurring, fingers clawing the pillows. “I’m gonna—”

“Come for me,” he panted, voice breaking. His thumb pressed harder, hips stuttering as his breath came in ragged gasps. “Let me feel it. Come for me.”

You couldn’t hold back. The orgasm crashed into you—sharp, intense, ripping through you. You screamed his name, walls clamping down hard around him as your body convulsed.

The force dragged him over the edge. Anton let out a broken, wrecked cry against your shoulder, his whole body shuddering as he spilled deep inside you, hips jerking in shallow, desperate thrusts. He collapsed against your back, heavy, sweat-slicked body pinning you to the mattress, chest heaving.

Neither of you moved for a long time. Just the sound of ragged, uneven breathing filling the room, your bodies tangled together, both of you trembling.

He slowly pulled out of you, and before you could even process the emptiness, he was flipping you over onto your back. Your body was limp, boneless, and he moved you like you weighed nothing.

The sight of him above you knocked the air out of your lungs. His chest was flushed, his dark hair falling into his eyes, his lips swollen and parted. His broad shoulders blocked out the dim hotel light behind him, caging you in completely.

“Anton,” you whimpered, your thighs trembling around his waist. You were so sensitive it almost hurt. “I can’t—not yet—”

“Please,” he murmured, lowering himself until his forehead pressed against yours. Sliding his tip up and down your wet slit, and you felt him push back inside you—slow, agonizing. The stretch on your oversensitive walls made your eyes roll back, a broken moan dragging out of your throat.

“Oh—fuck—” Anton’s voice cracked the second he bottomed out, his whole body shuddering above you. His arms were trembling where they braced on either side of your head. “You feel so—god—” The words came out thin and strained, like he was barely holding himself together.

You gasped, your nails digging into his shoulders. Your hips bucked up against him involuntarily, and the friction made both of you moan.

He let out a shaky exhale that sounded more like a whimper. “Ngh—I’m not gonna last—”

He started to move anyway, slow and deep, his hips rolling into yours with a deliberate rhythm that had your back arching off the mattress. Every thrust dragged against your swollen walls, punching out sounds from your chest with every roll of his hips.

Your legs wrapped around his waist on instinct, pulling him deeper. A high, broken groan vibrated against your collarbone. “Fuck—baby—don’t do that—” His hips stuttered, his composure slipping. His voice pitched up at the end, needy and wrecked.

“Feels so good,” you whined, your head pressing back into the pillows. “So deep—Anton—ah” Your words dissolved into a trembling moan as he hit a spot inside you that made your vision blur.

You clenched around him on purpose. His forehead dropped to your shoulder, a choked whine spilling out of him as his hips jerked forward. “Please—” he gasped. “I’m trying to make this good for you and you’re—”

“It’s good,” you breathed, pulling his face up to yours. His eyes were glassy, his bottom lip bitten raw. “It’s so good.”

Something in him snapped. He hooked one hand under your knee, pressing your thigh up toward your chest, and the new angle made you scream. Your free hand flew to his back, nails raking down his spine. “Anton—I can’t— too much—” A sob cut off whatever you were going to say, your body arching off the bed.

His free hand found yours, lacing your fingers together and pinning your hand beside your head. He buried his face in your neck, broken moans muffled against your skin, your name slipping out of him over and over.

“Look at me,” he breathed, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes.

You forced your eyes open. His face was inches from yours, his pupils blown wide, his jaw tight, his lashes wet. He looked completely undone.

“That’s it,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “Stay with me.”

“I’m gonna—” you whimpered, your walls fluttering around him. “Anton—I’m so close—”

Every time he bottomed out, a small, helpless sound punched out of his chest. His breathing was ragged, punctuated by quiet, whiny gasps every time you clenched around him.

“I’m close,” he choked out, his hips losing their rhythm. His hand squeezed yours tight. “Baby—please—”

“I’m coming—” you cried, your voice shattering into a broken moan as your body seized around him.

He came with a sound you’d never forget. A raw, wrecked cry that cracked in the middle, his body shaking as his hips pressed flush against yours and stayed there. The feeling of him pulsing inside you, the desperate way he clung to you, his broken whimpers against your neck—it dragged you over the edge with him, your second orgasm ripping through you in slow, devastating waves.

Neither of you moved for a long time after. Just the sound of ragged, uneven breathing, his body still covering yours completely. His face was pressed into the crook of your neck, and you could feel the wetness of his breath against your skin.

When it finally subsided, you were boneless. Completely spent.

Anton slowly rolled off you, pulling you flush against his side. He wrapped his strong arms around you, tucking your head under his chin. He pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead, his hand tracing soothing circles over your bare arm.

“You’re staying the night,” he murmured, his voice thick with sleep and satisfaction. It wasn’t a question.

You smiled against his chest, closing your eyes as the last of the adrenaline faded away. “Yeah.”

—

The next morning, sunlight was streaming through the sheer hotel curtains when you finally woke up. Anton was still asleep, his heavy arm draped securely over your waist, his face buried in your neck.

You carefully reached for your phone on the nightstand, wincing at the brightness of the screen. Your group chat was blowing up.

Shotaro: [Voice note: 0:25]

Yunjin: ????????????????

Yunjin: HELLO????

Sohee: lol

You smiled, typing out a quick I’m alive, tell you later before tossing the phone back down. You noticed Yunjin’s silver digi cam sitting on the nightstand. She must have slipped it into your bag before you left the venue.

Curious, you turned it on and clicked through the photos from last night. There was the one of you in the parking garage, the group photo Anton took, a blurry one of the stage, and then the one Yunjin had secretly taken of you on Anton’s shoulders.

“What are you looking at?” a rough, sleep-heavy voice mumbled against your skin.

You turned the camera off, sliding back down under the covers and pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Nothing. Just pictures from yesterday.”

anton, the moment he grew fond of you, swore to himself that he would work harder than destiny. than the universe. than the whims of any god.

that man has been helplessly in love with you since day one. no one can change his mind.

anton is the most patient man to ever walk this earth.

he patiently waits for you when classes are finally over. you pace slower than him when walking together.

when you asked him to teach you some bass basics, and you were struggling, you never heard him hiss or groan in annoyance. it was new to you because you were used to hearing people complain when you were asking for nothing more than help.

anton is the gentlest soul. he was your classmate in high school, the quiet boy who was into music and sports. often carrying his cello and training bag, he would sometimes intentionally bump his things against your desk every morning just so you would notice him and greet him "good morning."

eventually, you became friends and bonded through silly conversations, trips to convenience stores, or random weekend study "dates."

by senior year, it was safe to say he was a close friend who obviously liked you. he wasn't even subtle, yet he remained remarkably nonchalant about it. (he didn't confess, but his actions were telling.)

anton never made you feel pressured to return his feelings. still, both of you stuck together like constant companions.

he was simply charming back then. he always accompanied you to the bus stop, a ten-minute walk from school.

being in love with you meant becoming a total loser for you. imagine him riding the bus, pretending to get off at a stop after yours just so he could linger with you a bit longer. in truth, he didn't even need transportation...he lived within walking distance of the school.

he noticed that you sometimes skipped lunch (to save money or sleep). so, he’d bring far too much food to share with you. he reasoned it as "bulking" for training whenever you asked why his meals were so proportionately large.

anton was always ecstatic whenever you asked him about music. whether it was an inquiry about instruments or what songs were trending, he’d geek out, genuinely pleased that you were interested in his world.

thus, he created a playlist of all his recommendations and shared it only with you. even his friends weren't allowed to listen to it; you were the only one with the link.

besides, he had a folder full of draft compositions, all inspired by you.

one time you mentioned liking a certain drink from the store, and the next thing you knew, it was a consistent sight on your desk every other day.

anton never stares directly at you for too long because he’s afraid his eyes will give him away.

instead, he became a master at watching you out of the corner of his eye. anton memorized the way you tie your hair or the specific sound your shoes make in the hallway.

but he's also incredibly attentive when you speak in class or tell him something you've discovered. you would become self-conscious because he would never break eye contact while you spoke.

anton swore he loved the idea of memorizing your features, yet he mastered the skill of grasping every word you yapped about despite being drowned in the beauty right in front of him.

often, he would look away instantly when he felt his nose burning with a pink flush.

you had to admit that your first love was memorable because it was anton.

...and you for anton.

as you grew older, it was a slow realization that you were just like anton—reserved and quiet. you shared so many interests and opinions, but the contrast was that you were too scared of love.

he was full of it, deserving and willing to give it all.

maybe he didn't deserve you. or rather, any part of your life that felt insecure when you let him in. his upbringing felt worlds apart from yours.

so, as romantic as it seemed, when anton confessed to you while the rain was pouring, you respectfully rejected him and bid him a final goodbye.

your world crushed as you saw his eyes, and how his expression showed he was trying so hard not to beg for answers.

"tell me you don't want me to leave, and i won't." it was hard to hear him, his soft voice clashing with the heavy rain. even if you tell him you don't want him to go, he is still fated to leave for his dreams.

of course, you didn't want anton to leave. he's the only person who sees through you, who genuinely cares for you, and totally understands you.

he was the only person you had.

but then again, your worlds were apart.

anton saw how you looked at him as if he were a stranger. you were the first to break eye contact, running away from him that night.

he stayed frozen there, standing in the middle of the park, drenched. all he could think about was you. he spent another thirty minutes alone in the rain, just in case you changed your mind and ran back.

when anton moved overseas to pursue his dream, you accepted the fact that your shared chapter had ended.

even though the only way you knew how to move forward with life was with him.

during college, you decided to distance yourself from everyone and start a new life. part of that meant leaving someone behind who wasn't there anymore.

anton, on the other side of the world, never stopped thinking about you. he tried asking your mutual friends how you were, but no information ever came back to him.

on your birthday, anton flew recklessly back home (without his parents' knowledge) just to gamble on the chance of seeing you after a year apart.

every year, he typed a "happy birthday" to your old number. he would stare at the blinking cursor, never moving past the drafted text.

anton usually celebrated your birthday in total silence, perhaps just by buying your favorite snack and eating it alone.

he wanted to respect your peace. he knew you so well. you had many reasons to be distant and alter your life, and he wished he could help you lessen the burden. so, showing up suddenly didn't feel right.

but a plane has already brought him back home.

instead, he waited at a cafe near your university, hidden in a hoodie and mask.

he had no idea whether you would even walk by or go to that cafe.

finally, after three hours of hoping and inhaling iced americanos, the bell chimed. there you were—the person he loved so much, despite the painful silence between you.

you had changed, and it was physically visible. he couldn't pinpoint if it was for better or worse, but he wouldn't dare bother you.

you ordered an iced latte and the cheapest cake the cafe had. for a student on a budget, it was enough.

anton devised a simple plan: buy a whole cake of your favorite flavor, ask the server to hand it to you with some made-up excuse, and hurry back to the airport.

you were surprised that day by a "lucky birthday promo." you went back to your dorm happily with a box of strawberry shortcake you had been eyeing for weeks.

the universe had finally favored you. from then on, you promised yourself you'd be a frequent customer there until you graduate.

little did you know...

all thanks to the guy who flew back overseas that night, uncaring of the consequences. at least he knew you were well.

you stopped listening to his playlists. you didn't want to be reminded. but the moment you found out he was still consistently adding new songs, you found yourself saving them again.

anton never stopped adding music to that old playlist he exclusively shared with you. he wasn't sure if you were listening, but the chances were never zero. for years, he added songs he wanted you to hear—songs that resonated with his longing.

it was still you. it was always you for anton.

for his junior recital, titled "Saudade," anton performed pieces by his assigned composer. he also finally completed the drafts he started in high school—the ones you saw only in the hidden music room. the ones you gave suggestions for, despite knowing nothing about the musical notes. the ones you teased him about dedicating to you.

on a random day, you decided to check how he was doing. you jumped from site to site, glad to see him thriving.

you stumbled upon his soundcloud. a three-minute song titled "saudade" was there. you tried to stay composed until you heard a familiar giggle fading softly after the bridge.

anton had sampled your giggle from that silly high school video of the two of you doing dinosaur impressions.

oh.

anton remembers you more than he ever truly knew you.

guess who flew back just to stop by your university on graduation day?

anton was also graduating in two days. he thought, time zones be damned.

he didn't ask if outsiders were allowed. he just roamed outside the venue until the ceremony ended. he spotted you from afar, taking photos with friends.

he wanted to give you flowers, but he didn't know how. so, he settled for the contentment of seeing you happy.

he wore a white long-sleeve shirt that fit his figure perfectly. he blended into the crowd, though people whispered about how handsome he was as they passed.

coincidentally, you saw a familiar face in the sea of robes. your gut told you it was him, but by the time you pushed through the crowd, he was gone.

maybe you were daydreaming.

you swore it was anton. but there was no way he’d fly back just for this. he probably forgot about you already.

anton focused on his career during those years, becoming successful immediately after graduating. he thought that if he ever ran into you again, he wanted to be "worthy" of standing beside you.

months later, when a friend invited you to a reunion at a new family restaurant, you never expected anton to be there.

and god. locking eyes with anton again—it was a struggle to convince yourself that this was reality.

you were mesmerized by how well he had aged. he looked intimidating, secure, and grown.

there was no way a man like this was still single.

there was no way anton would ever care about you like he used to.

when you finally crossed paths, anton’s reserved nature acted as a shield for the fact that he was actually shaking inside. his teenage self was screaming internally. it brought him back to the memory of you looking so dangerously pretty during the senior ball.

you had a way of making him feel incredibly uneasy, almost as if a million butterflies were fluttering in his stomach whenever you were around.

he was more nervous than he’d been at any recital.

anton wanted to see if you remembered him. you didn't react when he arrived at the table. it was awkward; you were sitting right across from him. people started to ask why you weren't close anymore.

"anton, here's the menu," you spoke quietly, handing it to him. the unexpected exchange went completely unnoticed by the rest of the table, oblivious to the tension building in the air.

as he looked across the room, he felt as if time had come to a standstill in that fleeting moment. everyone's chatter faded into a distant murmur, replaced by the pounding of his heart in his ears.

it was as if the world outside had dissolved, leaving only him and the source of his sudden, eager focus, enveloping him in a bead of heightened awareness.

when the group laughed at a story, anton still had the habit of not looking at the one telling the story. instead, he looked at you.

he just wanted to see if you were laughing, or if you felt left out. your reaction was the only one that mattered.

to lighten the mood after the heavy meals everyone had shared, a game started at the table. it was simple: there were random icebreaker questions on cards that anyone could answer freely. although it was somewhat boring, it helped spark conversations and allowed everyone to catch up.

yuha shuffled a card and read it aloud: “when was the last time you traveled alone?” everyone groaned, collectively agreeing that the card was boring. you didn’t have an answer, so you silently agreed with them.

as you picked a new card, anton coldly spoke up. “2023. 2026.” you looked up at him, and he was already sipping his drink. 

“aigooo, no need to brag, nyc boy,” one of your classmates next to him cooed. 

the years he mentioned were significant to you, so you watched him intently, wondering where someone as busy as him traveled alone during those times. 

anton took another sip of his drink before glancing at you, as you were already conversing with yuha.

2023. your birthday.

2026. your graduation day.

later, he volunteered to drive friends home, and you were assigned to his car along with two classmates.

you discovered that he was residing in your building, sharing an apartment with your best friend's brother. they were living together temporarily while he searched for a place of his own, creating an unexpected connection just down the hall.

a true coincidence. destiny had favored him this time.

"unlucky" for you, you had to sit in the passenger seat.

anton was quick to notice you shivering and adjusted the temperature without a word.

when he overheard you were sick, he dropped a bag of supplies at your door. he texted, "i had extras, thought you might need them," even though the receipt showed he bought them five minutes prior.

"it's been five years. i'm sure he has moved on," you told your best friend.

moved on?

anton is immovable when it comes to you.

even now, he drinks the tea you liked and reads the niche authors you mentioned once in passing.

in the years apart, anton found ways to keep you in his life without you being there.

it wasn't obsession; it was just that those things were the only physical tethers he had left.

with his gentle nature, his yearning was physically painful to witness—if only you could see it. he was constantly fighting the urge to reach out.

once, he was already in the elevator when the doors reopened to find you aggressively pressing the buttons, panting. you hurried inside, desperate for the doors to close.

you leaned heavily against the cool, glass wall, your heart racing as the weight of your emotions felt almost tangible as you tried to gather yourself.

when you finally lifted your gaze, there stood anton beside you, his presence steady and reassuring in the midst of your turmoil.

you fixed your posture and sniffed, looking at him with the same eyes that had cried in the rain years ago.

the air felt tight. anton was so surprised that he couldn't find the words to ask what happened.

in a millisecond, you found yourself buried in his chest, arms latched around his back as if anchoring yourself to him. a wave of emotion surged through you, and soft sobs escaped your lips, muffled against the fabric of his shirt.

the world around you faded as you lost yourself in the comfort of his embrace, finding solace in the rhythm of his heartbeat echoing against you.

anton wanted to hug you back so badly it hurt, but he was terrified of overstepping. he let you clutch his shirt, his hands clenched at his sides, fighting the urge to hold you.

anton used to be the calmest person to hold you.

the elevator doors slid open with a soft ding, jarring you from your thoughts and pulling you back to the present moment.

“i’m so sorry,” you stammered, your breath still quickened by the adrenaline. “a drunk man was... chasing me. i got so scared.”

with a deep, apologetic bow, you rushed out of the elevator, eager to put distance between yourself and the unsettling encounter.

you enjoyed reconnecting during hangouts at anton and sungchan's place with your best friend, yuha, and you occasionally bumped into him around the building, sharing small talk.

yuha, the typical best friend that she is, always insists you come to his brother's place so you can see anton.

after one busy week, you finally decided to go for a grocery run. you normally went with sungchan, but out of courtesy, you had to ask anton as well.

"oh. sungchan decided to just sleep and let me come with you," he awkwardly hissed.

when in fact, he actually pushed sungchan before leaving their unit.

the idea of shopping together felt casual yet friendly, an opportunity to bond over shared experiences as neighbors.

while strolling the aisles, your shoulders brushed as you reached for the same item. he went completely still. he didn't pull away. for a loser like him, he savored that half-second of contact like it was oxygen.

you tried to hide a smile when your hands grazed while grabbing a pastry. "hey. look, it's your favorite," he remarked.

he still had the same effect on you.

and he still had the same foolish heart for you.

just as anton memorized your features, he could recognize the sound of your heart the moment you entered a room.

when he spotted you talking to the same mean relative who had mistreated you since high school, he saw the tension in your jaw and the way your eyes lost their spark.

he approached the apartment security with firmness, requesting their assistance in drawing away the intruders from the premises.

after a tense wait at his car, he felt a wave of relief wash over him when the security personnel finally took matters into their hands.

you were so thankful and pleased to hear the admin's mention of the possibility of blacklisting your relative, ensuring they wouldn’t trouble you on the premises again.

anton doesn't just like you—he studies you well.

he leaves for work at the same time as you, so you often meet in the lobby. through those shared encounters, anton was content with the simple "good mornings" you exchanged.

eventually, he found the courage to ask if you needed a ride.

anton was a liar. he would drive thirty minutes out of his way just to spend more time with you in the quiet of his car, where the world felt small, and it was just the two of you and the hum of the engine.

still a loser in love. you never knew he was lying about his workplace location.

shared rides became a space for catching up, until the atmosphere no longer felt thick or uncomfortable.

anton is usually composed, but after a few drinks at a classmate's engagement dinner, his walls thinned.

he was honest.

anton leaned his head back, eyes half-closed, watching you across the table with a look of such raw longing it made your breath hitch. he whispered, "i miss you," and then immediately looked away, blushing.

that didn't exactly help you sleep that night.

just like several years ago, anton became a constant in your life again.

he had a hectic day on your birthday, but rushed to your unit an hour before the day ended. luckily, you were awake.

you were surprised to see him holding the same cake brand you received "for free" back in college.

you both stood there for a moment, the air thick with unspoken words and lingering tension. a soft smile crept across your face, slowly thawing the uneasiness between you. "i... i wanted to give you this," he said, breathless, his eyes flickering with a mix of excitement and worry.

you felt a rush of warmth as you stepped aside, inviting him into your space.

soon, you found yourself cozily settled on the couch next to him, the lights spread around a warm glow in the room. anton began to sing the softest version of "happy birthday," his voice still a gentle caress that wrapped around you like a comforting blanket.

as you swayed the cake back and forth, the flickering candle casting playful shadows on your face, a sense of bliss surged through you.

with a deep breath, you closed your eyes to make a wish, then you blew out the candle in one breath.

anton, captivated by the scene unfolding before him. the view in front of him felt surreal.

all the waiting, all the years. it was clear that you were truly worth every single moment.

"what did you wish for?" anton asked as he sliced a piece for you.

"hmm. it's a secret."

he handed you the plate and smiled. "how can i make that wish happen if you won't tell me?"

one evening after his jog, he saw you with someone else in the lobby.

you were grinning, holding a box of chicken tenders from that guy (who held the elevator open for two minutes, uncaring of the sensor).

anton became incredibly polite, but his eyes went cold.

it was funny; you realized you knew him too well. the way he gripped his phone and how his voice dropped an octave.

"not the best chicken tenders," he broke the silence. you looked at him, amused. "very, very overcooked."

"too salty. if you got the yangnyeom flavor, it tastes like shi—"

you laughed. "actually, these are for sungchan. he asked me to pick them up for him. you can take them home."

right. wait, what? sungchan? my roommate? anton thought. stupid jealousy.

you handed him the bag. he was embarrassed, but his nonchalant facade held up.

before stepping off at your floor, you chuckled. "jealous over a delivery guy? tsk." the doors closed on his flustered face.

anton will mention tiny details—a specific keychain or a song you hummed once. you realized he was always paying attention, even when he seemed indifferent.

anton resigned himself to the idea that you might not choose him, so he settled for being the person you can always fall back on.

just like the old days. he remembered using family connections to get you scholarships, helping you confront your deadbeat parents, or gathering sign-ups for your part-time job. he even secretly paid classmates to buy the baked goods you sold. he even had revenge on those guys from the other class who made fun of you once.

even now, you don't know the half of his hidden efforts.

anton was the only person who truly treated you well.

once, you mentioned your laptop was dying, and you panicked over work files.

days later, he brought a giant box to your door. "you can use this for now. it's my extra."

before you could refuse: "it's not brand new." (it was.) "i didn't buy it." (he did.) you accepted it out of necessity, promising to pay him back.

"no need. use it however you want."

he can provide for you more than just the problems that need fixing, more than the convenience you wanted. definitely, he will provide for you however he wishes.

you also had a fair share of moments that you 'yearned' for him.

you find out through sungchan that anton also goes to your building's gym. therefore, that motivated you to become a 'gym person'.

suddenly, you're there every morning at 6:00 am or every saturday night at 9:00 pm.

you definitely had no idea how to use the specific machines near you.

"sungchan's the one who invited me," you boasted to anton, who was only wearing a tank top with his snapback backwards. damn it.

"i don't see a sungchan here every time i come, yet you’re here," anton smirked, almost walking past you. he paused and added, "sungchan trains on a different day. you might want to check on that."

one time, in all this pretentiousness, you were "cooling down" on a mat, but really, you’re just watching him do pull-ups in the mirror.

you started to admire the way the view of his broad shoulders and arms move when suddenly, his eyes met yours through the mirror.

instead of looking away, he holds the gaze while doing one more slow, effortless rep.

you were so flustered that you had to break eye contact right away and move somewhere you can't see him. when did he even get so hot?

sungchan had invited you over for a group dinner, excited to host after yuha had unexpectedly dropped by their place earlier that day.

to the siblings’ surprise, anton dedicated three hours to deep-cleaning the apartment.

once he finished tidying up, he rushed to take a shower, but not before he was left with the crucial part of picking the perfect outfit and perfume.

"anton, come out of the bathroom when i say, uhm… just a heads-up, the floor isn’t dry yet. i had to mop it again!" sungchan called out with a lie.

"okay!" anton’s cheerfully replied, unaware of the scheme that sungchan had. he invited you earlier than the actual dinner time, eager for a little fun at both of you and anton’s expense.

"you can come out now!" sungchan announced, barely able to contain his excitement.

when you stepped into the apartment, you were greeted by the sight of a shirtless anton, clad only in his denim shorts, who had just come out of the bathroom.

water droplets glistened on his skin, and he looked momentarily startled at your sudden appearance.

“i’m sorry! i wasn’t looking!” you covered your eyes in an instant. the shirtless guy was already tomato red.

“yes, you were~” sungchan sung while moving across the kitchen. his laughter threatened to erupt as he watched the scene unfold, a devious grin spreading across his face with the scenario he had orchestrated.

one quiet night, you stopped in your tracks while walking back from the convenience store. "why are you so nice to me?"

this stirred something in him. he finally found the courage to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. his fingertips trembled—as if his existence was a ticking bomb.

anton felt defeated by the sudden question. he looked at his shoes, then back into your eyes with an intense, careful gaze. "i've longed for you for all the years i had you, and all the years i could only remember you. i'm clinging to the hope that you'd eventually look at me and see someone you could love."

he sighed. "guess i was so nice to you."

anton doesn't look away anymore. he looks at you with a heavy, grounded stare, full of yearning that he no longer tries to mask.

as you looked back at him, you realized your own feelings had never truly faded. you were certain this time: you were finally ready to let him in.

the following night, a heavy, hesitant knock sounds at your door.

it was anton, he’s leaning against the doorframe, looking exhausted. the memory of his confession from the previous night never stopped replaying in your head. it's worse now that he's actually in front of you.

his crisp black button-down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows didn't help your current state.

"i left my keys on the kitchen when i rushed this morning. sungchan is out. sooooo, can i stay here for a bit?"

your pulse thrumming in your ears. "sure, chanyo- anton. come in."

the atmosphere in your apartment shifts instantly. "i'll get you a blanket." you said, in attempt of escaping his presence.

"let's talk about last night." he walks toward you, stopping just inches away.

you try to back away, but you almost hit the wall next to you.

he places a hand on either side of you, effectively trapping you in his personal space. "please?" he pleaded.

anton was so close to your level. you can feel your chest ripping out any moment, you avoid his gaze as you can feel his eyes memorizing your face.

"i don't have anything to say to you," you murmured. in response, anton’s jaw tenses.

he looks down at your lips, "you sure?" you looked away and nodded.

you gazed at him once more, a wave of longing washing over you. anton leaned in closer, his warm breath grazing your skin as his nose delicately brushed against yours.

he felt a shiver run through him, every nerve ending alive with anticipation and desire. "you're a loser, anton." you murmured while his lips were just inches away from yours.

"i know." he says, a faint smirk appearing before he finally loses his composure. your thoughts surrendered to the following actions you made.

you don't say a word. you just reach up and clutch his sleeves. when you finally kissed him, it started gentle and innocent, a reminder of how your love started.

finally, he was able to relax his clenched fists at your side. he pulls back just an inch, looks at you, and kisses you again with ferocity. you pulled him closer as the kiss started getting desperate.

just moments after, you were both back on the couch. his hands, which usually stay strictly at his sides to avoid 'overstepping', are suddenly everywhere.

anton tilted your head back to deepen the angle of the kiss. he backs toward the couch, and you follow down instantly to straddle his lap. "now i understand why you didn't want to talk." anton mutters against your jaw, his breath hitching. you can feel his smirk form.

you lean down to kiss the sensitive hollow near his temple that smells like his perfume that you like. you pull away as you notice something. "you have a tattoo here?"

he pecks your lips before responding, "mhm." he fixed a strand of your hair and pulled your face down softly again for a longer, passionate kiss.

a low, jagged moan vibrates in his throat when you wrap your arms around his neck. you decided to move your lips again somewhere.

you softly sucked on the same spot again, teasing him.

anton quietly whimpered.

he actually did whimper.

"stop," he hissed. you were barely holding your grin from the response you got. "i swear."

just a mess for each other. years of pining and yearning had led to this moment.

you pulled away to breathe. he instantly helped you adjust your weight on his lap, both hands were on your sides.

"tell me this isn't your first kiss, anton." you bit your smile. you are a hundred percent convinced he kissed other people back in new york.

anton's head found your shoulder, his shyness evident in the way he hid his face to you. "it is." his voice was barely above a whisper.

a skeptical smile spread across your face as you squeezed your eyes shut, unable to fully process the moment. no way.

"so, you're saying that-"

"yes. i waited years for this exact moment. so please, baby, let's continue where we left off." he rubbed the sides of your waist softly, in motions fueled by familiarity and desperation.

you chuckle. it was also your first, but for a guy who's hot and out of anyone's league like him, you still can't believe he waited years for a kiss, as if he was so sure this would happen soon.

every time your hips move against his thighs, anton's breath hitches, and your fingers dig into the muscles of his shoulders.

his hands slide up from your waist, a low growl escapes his throat, coming from a sound of pure, agonizing relief.

anton started to internally suffer the moment he felt you grind your hips down into his in a slow, torturous rhythm. you can feel the hardness of him through his jeans. you smirk during the kiss, as you thought to yourself that he had been holding back far too much. "you're hard."

"kiss my tattoo again and it'll grow bigger." he snickered.

"shut up."

he then started planting desperate kisses on your neck, resulting in him learning your weakest spot. then, he gasps against the sensitive skin of your shoulder, his teeth grazing your collarbone.

this time, you were the one physically trembling now at the contact. you gasp his name, while tossing your head back.

anton's lips were back on yours upon the gasp of his name. the friction beneath both of you became a blur of heat and denim.

he hooks his hands under your thighs, pulling you even tighter and closer on his crotch, ensuring you can feel him. when you grind down on him in the perfectly aligned position, he lets out a jagged breath, "baby, please."

his self-restraint snapped. your shirt bunches up, and his hands slide underneath, his palms hot against your skin as his thumbs start to trace the underside of your chest. you moan at the sudden contact you felt next, and you were sure he smirked in between the ongoing kiss.

the friction was tortorous. your fingers moved to tangle in his hair, pulling his head to keep his mouth on yours.

then, it was time again to breathe. you needed something beyond this. when he finally met your eyes again, you sheepishly buried your face in the crook of his neck, while his breathing came in ragged. "i waited for you," you mumbled.

"i love you. so very much." anton gently tilted your chin up with his finger, his gaze filled with warmth. 

"should i say it back now, or should i wait for a more appropriate moment?" you teased playfully, giving his cute, big nose a gentle boop. 

"appropriate can wait, i suppose," he replied with a mischievous smile, and in a swift motion, he unbuttoned his shirt.

the man who swore to work harder than destiny has finally won.

when anton moved into his new apartment, the extra room caught your attention. it looked more than just a typical guest room. it was a room that had soft lighting from the window, with a view of the city, and a thought that reminded you of the type of bedroom you once mentioned wanting.

“this place looks like a jackpot for you,” you said.

"you like it here?" anton asked in confidence, making you look at him in confusion. "i mean, yes. it is a jackpot. i think i made the right choice."

more than the plans he had for himself that included you, he also has curated a life that had a permanent, person-shaped hole in it, trusting that eventually, you’d find your way back to fill it.

you definitely liked it there, and anton was certain of that. so, he has yet to figure out how to tell you that it was actually your room in his own place.

finally, spring came.

“happy birthday, chanyoung,” you murmured, the soft glow of the candle illuminating his face, and suddenly his new apartment was enveloped in a tranquil stillness because of this moment.

the dim lights created a cozy atmosphere that wrapped around both of you like a comforting embrace. you watched your boyfriend close his eyes and take his time before blowing out the flame.

"what did you wish for?"

he looked at you for a solid minute. "my wish already came true."

both of you beamed. he finally leaned in to hold you. "i'm not going anywhere this time." he kissed the top of your head. anton made a quiet pledge to himself at that moment that he would continue loving you like it was breathing.

it had been ten years. through high school, college, and adulthood, anton had waited. he didn't just believe in luck or coincidence. he believed more in the stubborn force of his own devotion.

and he would gladly do it all again in the next life, if it meant finding you over and over.

a love that once ended in the quiet passing of autumn had finally bloomed again in the spring.

because love endures.