“Good evening, Desert Bluffs! Sorry I’m a little late. Most people would say being late is counterproductive. I was late because of some silly little mix-up with the new intern, Carolyn, and our copier. It was so incredibly productive! But Carolyn is going to have to be fired immediately. Actually, it sounds like she is right now! What else would cause that much screaming? We’ve drifted from our topic. If we are late to something because we were busy being productive, does that cancel out the existing lack of productivity? Gosh oh my, what a thoughtful question! But the time it would take to actually think about it could be fatal. On to the news. There’s been a change in our suns, as Ted told me. He doesn’t understand it, just said God came to him and prophecised it. Instead of the constant sunlight we’re used to, with the suns overlapping, they’ve apparently distanced themselves out! Now, between the suns, is about a two hour period of complete darkness! That sounds pretty terrifying, but think about how beautiful it will be! Two sunrises, two sunsets. And of course, our generous and loving parent company, StrexCorp, will be around to assist with the period of darkness and help us cope and make sure nobody tries anything less than appropriate. As for how to fix this? Well, nothing in The Bluffs needs fixed! Research and development has notified me that they will try to reduce this time to, say, twenty minutes, though. And then, oh boy, I am so excited about this, I just can’t help it, really I can’t! We’ll be able to make this time our new chanting break! Isn’t that grand? No more wasting valuable daylight, no more sacrificing productivity. Speaking of, it sounds like Carolyn’s been fired, so I certainly have some things to attend to. As always, until next time, Desert Bluffs. Until next time.”
snowghoul
andulkaphoto
germansingergirl
titsay
vaporwave
ellievsbear
romaincrisis
gracieabrams
