#its terrifying

but he'd probably take on an apprentice (NOT a padawan. hes still sith and will teach them as such) surely? like. with that extra time he'd have the brainspace and general emotional spatial awareness to do it better this time (he doesn't consider jaesa a failure, just a consequence of his young adulthood that he wishes he couldve rectified -- unlike cele and nadia who i will elaborate on much later). the alliance isnt just zanya regardless of how much they platform him, so maybe someone else would be open to becoming the head of it. that man would implode if he became a father but he does like the idea of guiding the future considering he did always want to change the empire for the better when he was younger. this is just his way of doing it. no longer even imperial but the idea is still there. now, at least, he has the experience to actually back up his plans of grandeur.

is this just an excuse for me to brainworm my way to another character MAYBE. i am very predictable and theres no shame to that. but the thought of zanya seeing himself as something akin to a teacher, being able to work through his issues with his father by becoming a mentor to someone else doing everything that he wishes that he had kinda just makes me soft on the inside. yeah this kid (loose definition, theyre probably in their early 20s) has not a clue what theyre doing but theyll learn. through the trials and tribulations that are admittedly probably a bit ridiculous because its zanya and good luck ever being zanya's student especially when he's that old and his "i absolutely know best here"isms are on full display, theyll grow into themselves and take on the same mantle he once wore with pride. he'll still be there if they need him as a fallback plan, but its someone he can say "you have this" to and trust them to actually have it.

idk i got really sick thinking about zanya older and happier and slightly mellowed out. he is no longer all that stressed!! still a little bit of course, but hes learned how to lighten that load and take care of himself. hes more well rounded! he has hobbies! hes not constantly watching over his shoulder! he knows the definition of safety and can close his eyes for a night without seeing every way the next mission could go wrong! hes grown and changed, but for once, he isn't afraid of it.