At least holding on to the wreckage

To say the least, the finale has been divisive (as predicted, though we didn’t know it would be this bad). I think a lot of the fandom has been processing it and coming to their own acceptance or coping mechanisms. I wanted to give myself some time to digest before I dived into “but did you like it?” because truly the answer is yes, but.

Before dig in, I first want to say this: Thank you to the creators for giving us your ending. For fighting for us. For doing what you thought was best. We know that it was not easy, and we appreciate you. To my fellow fans: yelling at anyone is NOT the way to solve any of your feelings. That goes for creators AND fellow fans whose opinion differs. We are all going to have differing views, and that’s okay. After all, we now have a multiverse of sand boxes to play in (and play we shall, I am sure).

We can start with what I loved: Aziraphale saving Crowley, the crosswords level of sass, Joshua, and Harry the Fish all left me with giant smiles. I wish we had been able to see more of this. You could tell the stories were rushed, but nonetheless they were able to shine some still.

It’s also not anyone’s fault the story was rushed. We knew that was going to be the case condensing six episodes down to one. It would never be able to solve all the hanging plot lines and Chekov’s guns that were out there.

Having said that, let’s dig into the gritty of where I saw a problem (after all, I haven’t seen a single person yet say they disliked Jesus). We’re once again left with the problem of a final fifteen, but part of it started before.

Repeatedly I’ve seen posts celebrating that Aziraphale and Crowley are now able to live without their trauma. That they can live without the pain they have suffered and the fear and simply be. And yes, that is beautiful (if a bit unrealistic, given the state of the real world). And as someone with extensive trauma, a chronic illness, married to a disabled person I wonder if they understand some of the message that’s being given.

Because between the lines of this is that Aziraphale and Crowley could not be given a happy ending. They needed their trauma removed to do so. That Crowley, in his depressive state, was far too broken to be able to come out the other side. And that he should not be given time to heal from that condition in order to make a decision fully, based in his love for Earth yes but also his love for himself and for Aziraphale.

That the solution to your depression is a suicide that helps others live their best lives.

I don’t think that the writers intended this to be the message. I truly don’t. Sometimes you have to have been through the worst to see it, and to be honest I’m delighted for the portion of the fandom that doesn’t see this part of the story. I wish that for everyone.

As someone who has, relatively recently, been in Crowley’s position I am grateful no one gave me the option to sacrifice myself for the world. I’d have taken it. Now? Now I’d tell God to go fuck herself. Because despite trauma, hope and joy find a way. Because I live in a world where my marriage is often invalidated and derided. Where my spouse has to constantly face a battle I can’t quite grasp where the world tells them they shouldn’t exist. Where the two of us regularly have to face our trauma, together. And despite it find the ability to laugh so hard we’re crying. We have found connections and found family and beauty, despite it all.

And that is the ending that our Ineffables deserved. The ability to finally find themselves without needing their history to be erased. To know that every stolen moment and bit of hope was, indeed, worth the battle to get to the end. Not to be told that both they and the world were too broken to save. Best start from scratch.

I will mourn them. And in doing so it is with the added weight of the queer people who never found their way out. Who were told they were too broken for this world. Who could no longer find hope. I will mourn for my community just as my first thought yesterday when the finale was done was how to best help them. What support would a community suddenly given this message need?

I know the creators did their best, and I will not hurl hatred at them. But I will, this one time, say I think that they were irresponsible. They valued art over the community around it. It was their choice to make, and I respect what they were trying to accomplish and the beauty they were trying to create. And I know many will see that beauty and they will receive their accolades.

This post is not for those who are pleased. It’s for the rest of you. The ones in the fandom that are aching and seeing yourselves erased and tired of fighting. Please don’t give up. Hope is there. Love is real and it does not only create universes but heals the pain within us.

Maybe 97 minutes simply wasn’t enough. If Aziraphale and Crowley had been given years to heal in their garden bookshop and come to their decision, I could understand it far more. If we had time to show multiple multiverse endings, including one where our Ineffables stood at the end and smiled at what they had created when they thought they’d be sacrificing themselves, that I would have understood a bit more. Perhaps if they’d instead told God to leave their universe and let them finally figure it out, something given through the wisdom of child-Adam back in season one. Maybe they didn’t have the story time for all of these. It could simply be that we can solve the problem with only a little more time.

I do think a multiverse was intended as Aziraphale and Crowley’s choice. I think they should have been able to see it through the snow globe that now sits on their mantle in my heart. A story in which we can have all of our stories and see all the possible choices and worlds we could have inhabited.

To see what we would have been without the trauma is not a bad thing. Nor are all the stories we have created for Aziraphale and Crowley. Thousands of them! All a slightly different version. All a slightly different them. That we have watched fall in love time after time.

Yet we are still valid as we are. Broken and trying and finding hope in the ashes. Because we, and 7 billion humans, all deserve the chance to hope that we can find a better world without sacrificing ourselves to do so.

I won’t be leaving the Good Omens fandom, not by a long stretch. This hasn’t been my first time that I’ve disagreed with canon nor will it be the last, I’m sure. I hope that the rest of you that are struggling with this ending also stay. There will be AUs and fix it fics and more stories for us all to tell.

I would be remiss if I did not say this: I am sure with time I am going to love Asa and Anthony. After all, I was writing a human AU with my partner as I fell in love with them. When I saw the ending, the bit of smile I did receive was the beauty of seeing two people who are no longer young still being able to find each other and fall in love.

I have seen many takes saying that they are sad that Asa and Anthony will only get twenty years. As someone who is destined to have much the same time frame in my life with my partner who I adore more than the world itself, this feels a bit like a slap in the face. Because that is still years of joy. It has still been us waking up next to each other each day and planting our garden for our future. I would have loved to have an entire life with them, but I am so very, very happy to get the time that we will have.

I have also seen takes saying Asa and Anthony are not canon nonbinary people any longer. They’re not canon cis, either. And until we adjust our thoughts to understanding we do not know someone’s gender or sexuality unless they tell us, we will continue to be in a world in which nonbinary people feel unaccepted at heart.

I am glad we finally have some sort of closure. I look forward to diving back into the sandbox (and have many thoughts already about doing so). I do, truly, believe that Aziraphale and Crowley could not have been erased from the Book of Life nor their world from existence. They’re still out there. After all, we have not forgotten them and I know I for one never will. They have given me far too much over the years.

Here's some background into klikandtuna's world when she’s not thinking about Good Omens (though GO has a very special place in her life):

“Hi, I’m Steph and I live in Oregon (USA) with my husband, three kids, and two cats. Writing and illustrating GO fanfic is my favorite hobby, but I also cross-stitch (including designing custom pieces for myself and others) and play an occasional DnD campaign, and if I have any time left over I’m reading weird fantasy novels.”

klikandtuna’s journey into writing started at an early age - and the rest (as they say) is history:

“When I was in the fourth grade, we had just moved from Wisconsin to North Carolina and no one really liked me (to be fair, I was and remain an acutely introverted weirdo), but one day the class held a creative-writing contest where we all took the same prompt and wrote a little story with it. My story won. And that’s my origin tale:  I’d found something I both really enjoyed and was good at, and writing has been part of my life ever since. My ninth-grade English teacher once held up an essay I’d written and swore he’d see my name on the spine of a novel someday. Writing is what I’ve wanted to Do — a Writer is what I’ve wanted to be — for most of my life.”

Good Omens was not unfamiliar to klikandtuna before her discovery of the series.  But the series (and two magical actors) took her love of the story to the next level: 

“I read the book once ages ago, but didn’t remember much of it by the time the series rolled around. But the trailer was intriguing and I vaguely remembered liking the book, so I gave it a shot. Loved it. Love love love loved it — especially, obviously, our two leads. There’s something so healing about Good Omens, in regards to my religious trauma. I’ve since reread the book, of course, and Season 1 truly is a masterclass in book-to-screen adaptation: it drops what isn’t necessary and preserves everything that makes the story magical, while building upon the existing lore in believable and delightful ways.”

klikandtuna’s inspiration to write stories about Good Omens is probably the same for many writers in the fandom (hint: it might have had something to do with that “moment” we all obsess with over and over and over again😭):

“Season two broke my damn brain, that’s what happened. Season one was LOVELY, I adored the expanding of Crowley and Aziraphale’s roles and characterizations, and for whatever reason I was content with it. But that second season…that final fifteen… I watched it alone. ALL ALONE, Y’ALL, I didn’t even know anyone else who was into the show! I went to my online friend group like “has anyone maybe heard of this…?” and thank Bentley two of them pounced, and we were able to weep together. It was really that sense of community that sparked the obsession, I think.

It was those same two friends who read my first tiny tentative drabbles — classics like “The Broom Cupboard” and “Unforgettable” which will never be made public, and yes I’m only saying this to tease and tantalize — and they were so delighted and encouraging that it made me want to do more. I had never written fanfiction before and at first it felt odd to play with someone else’s characters, but I was having such fun and my friends enjoyed it so much that I just kept going.

Everything on my AO3 page before “In Vino Veritas” was written entirely in a vacuum — before I had any contact whatsoever with the fandom, when no one but those same two friends read my work. I hadn’t read anyone else’s work (I still don’t, or almost none), had never heard of human AUs until my friend introduced the concept and suggested I give it a try (the result was “Every Damn Day”), and was so self-conscious about it all that it took my friends six months to convince me to post my existing stories on AO3. With some trepidation, I did…and the reception has been so overwhelmingly positive that I’m full-on hooked 😄 I’ve since acquired a fabulous beta-reader by sheer luck, and I wouldn’t trade her for anything!”

Out of all her wonderful written works, is klikandtuna willing to tell us which one is her favorite? (we’ll do the apology dance for asking🥲)

“This is so mean. What a mean question. 🤣 Choose a favorite piece of my soul?? I could NEVER. 

But I will give special shoutouts to a) “Naked and Afraid: Jingle Hell” (human AU, rated T, 24k complete)  because the stupidest idea and a format I’d never attempted turned into something absolutely glorious (and it’s getting its own podfic, with me voicing the narrator!), and b) “When You Go” (rated E, 102k) a Reverse Omens fic that I feel I absolutely nailed the characterizations in, but is also very angsty and ends (temporarily!!!) on one heck of a cliffhanger so is largely overlooked. I could talk about WYG for hours but never get the chance!”

And does she have any interest in OTHER fandoms besides Good Omens??

“Nnnnnnope 😄 I used to be in a LiveJournal community centered on the “A Song of Ice and Fire” book series, but that’s it. I tend to enjoy things privately and not interact with the larger fandom; GO is the only exception, and therefore is receiving all of my creative energy.”

Speaking of klikandtuna’s “creative energy” - let’s dive into some of the questions submitted by our wonderful readers and followers:

✨Where does your creative energy, talents and inspiration come from? “I don’t think this has an easy answer. My creative ENERGY has yet to reach its limit; I write voraciously and there are never enough free hours in the day for it. Talent is what a person is born with, and I guess I got some of that; skill is how that person works to develop their natural talent, and no matter what level they start with they can always increase their skill. But inspiration?

Stephen King once wrote of “the pool where we all go down to drink, to swim, to catch a little fish from the edge of the shore; it's also the pool where some hardy souls go out in their flimsy wooden boats after the big ones” (this was in “Lisey’s Story”). In “Find the Light” I described it as silver threads in the dark aether — a glitter catches my eye, I pluck the thread and start to follow its path, and weave it into something that feels true. Sometimes a friend (usually my wonderful beta-reader) tosses an idea at me and I just can’t resist; sometimes I start with a topic I’m personally passionate about, like marching band. However I begin, I wait for that glitter and follow where it leads. Discovering a story like that is one of my favorite feelings in life 💛”

✨What was the inspiration behind the thematic of the pondwater in "Find the Light"? Is there a story behind that motif? (P.S: I loved every second of that motif, it is so beautiful. And the fanfic itself too, enjoyed it a lot): “I started writing “Find the Light” with no idea where I’d end up; I simply stood with Fell in his office and let things begin to unfold. When Fell turned his face to the sun and dipped briefly into memory…I saw the pond scene from his past, in its entirety. And when I wanted to write a song that was AJ’s ode to his lost love, I just…started typing. It took me maybe fifteen minutes to write the entire song. It was just THERE.

‘Pondwater’ is AJ’s own memory of those painful moments at the pond: beauty and grief and regret and passion rolled into one. I love it too, and I’m thrilled to announce that a ‘canon’ version of the song, as something you’ll actually be able to listen to and sing along with, is currently in the works!

(PS. If you love FTL but haven’t yet earned the right to read my AU crossover fic “Find Every Sky” (rated T, 48k complete), you might want to do so. AJ talks about his school-days friendship with Fell in a way that’s never fully explored in FTL!)”

✨You've written so many human AUs, so what got you into writing those in the first place? And, have you ever considered writing one where the one is human and the other isn't? “Back when I was writing in a vacuum, one of the two friends who read my work said “hey sometimes people write them as regular humans. Maybe you could give that a try?” And my little brain exploded. “Every Damn Day” is a completely pure work in that not only had I never read another human AU when I wrote it, I wasn’t even aware of the concept of human AUs until that moment. And I love my Avery and Anthony with every last bit of my heart.

When I became aware of the existence of other human AUs, it still didn’t occur to me that I could just…write another. Not until Suzy — an acquaintance of pure happenstance who had convinced me to join Tumblr and later became the best beta-reader in the business — sent me a Tumblr post that had a set of gifs and a vague prompt, and she said, “You could write this.” I laughed at first. I could NEVER write another human AU, I had already done my allotment. …Right? 🤣🤣 Thankfully I overcame that weirdness, and “Find the Light” was born, and I was off to the races.

The idea of one of them being human and the other supernatural doesn’t really sit right with me. So, no thank you ☺️”

✨A number of your stories create a more in-depth characterization for your lead pairs than the typical fan fic. Do you see yourself moving onto writing original characters? You're getting close already.  “If you’re following along with my current WIP “In His Hand a Burning Coal” (human AU, rated E, updates weekly and will wrap in October), you’ll know that I can and do write OCs! The ONLY canon characters in that one are the lead pair themselves and God; the rest of the fic is populated entirely with original characters, and I adore them.

If you mean completely original fiction, well — that’s the dream! But I’m having too much fun with fanfics at the moment ☺️”

✨I absolutely love your reinterpretation of Romeo and Juliet. Is there any other media you would consider reinterpreting through a Good Omens Lens? “To be fair, I’m really not trying to reimagine the play itself with “In His Hand a Burning Coal”; I take the basic concept of lovers belonging to rival tribes and apply it to college marching band, annnnnd that’s about it. Any other parallels between the two are delightful to theorize, but not intentional on my part. I’m just writing a story 😄

But I LOVE the idea of reimagining an existing story through the lens of Good Omens and would absolutely be interested in doing so in the future. Open to suggestions!”

✨What is something one of your characters has said or done that surprised you as you were writing it? “Oh lord, they do this ALL the time! This is why I never try to fully plot out my stories in advance; it feels too restrictive, and I’d rather give my characters room to tell me their own story organically. I only write in order, never skipping ahead, and my characters surprise me often.

One instance that immediately comes to mind is the infamous Crystal Ceremony in “Sky Clear Blue” (human AU, rated E, 289k complete). Azekiel said he had a plan, annnnd I had no idea what the plan would be until I was in the middle of writing the scene. It just unfolded around me, and ended up being one of the most powerful scenes in the fic!”

✨Any news on the book printing of your absolutely fabulous epic fics FTL and SCB? “Thanks to the unending generosity and diligence of SparklyShinyMagpie, who has done all of the pretty social-media coding you’ll see in my fics, the print books are inching closer to becoming a reality! The current holdup…is me 😆 So poke me now and then to make sure I’m holding up my end of things. At the moment we’re working on “Find the Light”; SCB will take a little longer.

The books will (eventually) be sold at cost, with no profit to me.”

✨You always put in your author’s notes and the tags that you won’t spoil the end of your stories. Would you ever consider NOT giving Aziraphale and Crowley a happy ending? ““Happy” is such an UNuseful word here. Is the ending SUITABLE? Does it make sense in the context of the story and the character arcs? Does it seem inevitable in retrospect? —These are the important questions, and the things that matter more to me (as both a reader and a writer) than whether the ending falls under the WILDLY subjective definition of “happy.”

That being said…I think that Crowley and Aziraphale, no matter what reality we find them in, OUGHT to have an ending in which they’re together and at peace. Heartbreak and tragedy have their place, but these two dopes are simply meant to be and nothing else feels right. 

But “#Author REFUSES to spoil the ending in the tags” is my favorite tag and isn’t going away anytime soon 😁”

These two ABSOLUTELY deserve the happiest of endings!!  And klikandtuna’s last answer OBVIOUSLY answers our next question - who is your favorite GO pairing to write about?

“I mean, is anyone’s FAVORITE pairing in this fandom anything other than our Ineffables? 😄 They’re the core of everything that’s brought us all together. I’ve featured or alluded to other relationships in my stories — Gabe/Beez, Uriel/Sandalphon, Maggie/Nina, Muriel/OC demon — but Crowley and Aziraphale are why we’re all here, and they’ve touched my heart and my creativity in a way that really no other fictional pairing I’ve ever encountered can compare to. 💛”

Any writing themes that you prefer for the Ineffable Duo?

“Redemption for all (potential/offered, even if not fulfilled). The transformative power of love. How belief can shape reality. Time is a pond. Aziraphale hates puns and Crowley hates autocorrect. At Least One Of Them Is A Virtuoso Musician. Sleepovers usually sneak in somewhere. This Love Is Destiny. Etc 😁”

klikandtuna has THREE works in progress right now - here’s a preview (and also your sign to subscribe so you don’t miss a thing!!):

““In His Hand a Burning Coal” (rated E, 28/43, 311k) — this massive beast of a human AU features Ant and Azlan, college students at an American university, who are in marching band together. Humor! Drama! Pining! Daring heists! Tons of fun OCs, including an aggressively hateable antagonist! 1-2 illustrations per chapter! Basically my personal love letter to band, delivered via a beautiful story of destiny and perseverance.

“Because We Can!” (not posted yet, will be rated T or possssibly M) — a campy human AU about time cops, equal parts drama and humor. This one has been shunted to the back burner until my FTH fic is complete, but I’ve written five chapters and really love it.

“What I Never Said” (human AU, not posted yet, will be rated M) — my winning bidder in the Fandom Trumps Hate auction presented me with a MASSIVE CHALLENGE that has required extensive research, but the result is going to be beautiful. Stay tuned.”

Okay - it’s time to end all the suspense.  WE NEED TO KNOW THE STORY BEHIND THE HANDLE!!! (And for the record, klikandtuna sort of begged for this question in her intro 😁🤣): 

“Hoist with my own petard. I brought up how stupid the handle is, so now I’ve gotta tell the stupid story 😆 SO. In 2018 I finally wanted to join Twitter, but every handle I could think of was taken, so I had to reach back into the vault of Dumb Family Legends to find something…

June 2005. On a five-day fishing trip on a remote Canadian lake with my dad and brothers. On the final day, in preparation for leaving, we disposed of most of our leftover food. 

Well, the float plane that was supposed to pick us up was late. Like, REALLY late. The window of time during which it could pick us up and make it back to civilization before dark was rapidly narrowing, and the four of us suddenly had to face the possibility of spending an extra night at this tiny cabin in the middle of nowhere with no food except the two items that couldn’t be thrown away or burned: one 8-ounce can of Starkist tuna, and one can of Klik, which is kind of a Canadian Spam and which we’d only purchased because we thought the name was funny.

The float plane DID come, thankfully, but we kept that can of Klik in the pantry for like ten years until Mom threw it away because she didn’t fully appreciate the sentimental value of it. I always keep a couple cans of Klik on my own shelves now, though, just for good luck.

“Klikandtuna,” typed 2018 Steph into the field to create a Twitter handle, just for a giggle…and lo and behold, it went through. So then I just had to live with it. Annnnd since it’s always available on any new social media platform and it’s nice to have just one handle across the board, I’ve stuck with it. Annnnd now it’s basically my name. This is my life now. I am two canned meats. Told you it was stupid.

(Sorry I don’t clicker-train cats, that would’ve been rad)”

And this wonderfully unique name is how you will always be able to find her online:

“Tumblr, BlueSky, and Instagram are where you can see my art; I’m also on Discord, and even have my own little server for “In His Hand a Burning Coal.” No matter where, I’m always klikandtuna 💛”

klikandtuna shares more with the fandom than just her beautiful artworks and fabulous tales: 

“I’ve designed and completed a GO cross-stitch that I’m proud of (and which David Tennant has signed! one day I’ll complete the set, I hope), and I’ve made a set of custom “Little People” GO figures. Most of my creative energy these days goes into the fics and illustrations!”

Here are some truthful and beautiful words of encouragement from klikandtuna for others who love writing or are considering dipping into the writing pool:

“Writing is scary.

Fan art is great because even a very rough sketch can carry at least the approximation of ideas and forms and intent, and your audience can take it in at a glance and offer kind words. But with writing you have to be at least kind of objectively good at it to properly pull off the telepathy of transmitting the intent in your own head into the heads of other people. Writing can’t be taken in at a glance — you have to be good enough for readers to stick around, focus, pay attention, dedicate their time. You have to EARN it. And that’s scary because it might not work.

AO3 is such a fun platform because it encourages reader interaction in a way that traditional publishing cannot. But the kudos and comments, and even the genuine friends I’ve made via these channels, are not the reason I write. And anyone for whom that IS the primary goal might end up having a bad time.

Do you fall through the page when you’re writing, losing track of the minutes? Do you make yourself laugh? Does your heart beat faster when you find that perfect phrasing? Do your fingers itch when it’s been too long since you got to sit down and get to it? Do you stage potential scenarios for your characters while folding laundry and scribble notes to yourself before you forget? Does your heart flood with genuine affection when you think of the people you’ve created, who feel more real to you than a lot of actual people you know?

Write because you love it. Because it’s fulfilling a huge and wonderful need in your soul. Let go of the end result and embrace the joy of the process — of working at it, of TRYING, of wrestling with words and ideas until it feels just right. The only real point of creating art of any kind is the feeling it inspires in the artist themself. Write for YOU. Make yourself your own target audience. That’s the best advice I’ve got.”

Final thoughts?

“I’m deeply grateful to everyone reading this. For not letting this fandom die, for continuing to find beauty and hope here…both in this story that means so much to us all, and in the community we’ve found with each other.”

klikandtuna - we are so very grateful for YOU and all the fantastic gifts you give to this fandom.  Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!!! 💝

Here's some links where you can continue to follow klikandtuna:

Archive of our Own [AO3]

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Bluesky

Instagram