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@trekkele
[adam sandler voice] 🎶Happy Batmanukkah I Love You A Latkele🎶

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i think the crazy thing is, if qi min was less invested in filicide and only slightly less malicious, qianqian might have actually just. gone with it.
i need to have a personal word with the director, he did not use zhang linghe’s smirk nearly enough
au where (spoilers ahead) instead of her uncle burning the letter grandpa gets it to Changyu but it tells her the bare basics and to go find General He, who finagles a cover story for adopting the Fan sisters as his own (past lover? distant cousins?) and after observing Changyu sparring he thinks throwing his two disciples in the ring with her would have hilarious consequences for their possible egos, which is true, but the consequences are a silent civil war within his house as Zheng and Li’huan fall ass over ponytail into Changyus orbit.
it's been said but i'll say it again: top tier bit of this show is whenever changyu is being given the slightest offense and it pans to yan zheng VERY LOUDLY lefty-looseying the screws on his hinges in the background

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i need a fic entirely from the pov of that guard in the corner processing all the bullshit his commanding officers are going through.
That maid that just double blinked when Jin said “live in husband” is actually having a category five internal freak out because What Do You mean Captain Fan’s mysterious live in husband is actually the Marquis the girlies back at the dorm are going to lose their minds but also she must Maintain Decorum and not check of the Marquis ears are turning red.
Jianjia needs both and raise and drink with Jin theyd get along
Jin appointing himself Changyus chaperone all frustrated like will none of these fancy ass military boys treat my sister/mafia boss/captain RIGHT it cannot be this hard to find a good man around here!!!
because this is an army i know, absolutely certain, that when the rumor of yan zhengs imminent demise circled at least dozens of soldiers had the inside of thought of like, well, whats the over under on offering to well. not to be crass. but Fan Changyu suddenly being single wasnt like. The worst thing these men could think of, right? Anyways finding out that her husband was actually the marquis must have sent a few of them into laughing despair.
i need a fic entirely from the pov of that guard in the corner processing all the bullshit his commanding officers are going through.

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Qianqian is so fucking pretty that i do kind of, like, get him, unfortunately, if i tilt my head and think like a tyrant prince who views people as objects and the world as my toy chest. i mean i dont, but if i did, like. yeah, i too am captivated by her eyes and want to die on her lips and possibly think the world is less meaningless when she smiles. and you know she’s going to plot out some dramatic ass production to kill you. you could do a lot worse is what im saying. if you wanted to follow that route.
the thing with the mirrorverse is that isnt just “hurdur humanity is evuuuul” in ambiguous ways, its pretty explicitly “humanity is evil because theyre all individualist fucks” and i think thats both far more interesting and more true to what star trek might be attempting to say overall.
cmon he can forge now?? Unfair. Illegal.
see, if i was a foot soldier, and one day in middle of a war my boss (who was dead) turned back up not dead, and then this pretty girl showed up at camp looking for her husband, I’d be both extremely jealous and also delighted and secretly praying that her husband turned up and they got their cute reunion scene because, fuck, its a war! we all gotta take the wins for everybody. And then if i saw the fancy pants strategist (who still turned up at the front lines in his fancy little outfits) having some kind of situationship with the fancy imperial doctor (who is definitely hiding some second status) i’d add that guy to my prayers because, well, wins a win, right? And then if i found out the first girl was actually my bosses WIFE and she had killed the enemy general on her first battlefield and also she and the boss had a falling out because he lied about his identity - thats when i would start wondering if the gods were perhaps fucking with us, in particular. Because this all happened within like. A week.
SCREAMS i hate these dumbass boys gongsun just mixed FAKE BLOOD to dramatically cough up when his princess doctor crush shows up

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if the army turns against changyu for the yan zheng/xiu zheng thing i am going to lose it. i need him to clear up everything immediately she cannot suffer consequences for his bullshit
I take it back xu an should get to slap him.