Sony_Laptop

Bruce outs Clark as Superman while Clark is interviewing him and Lex. "I don't know why you two can't get along like you are now 😔 Superman, maybe Lex just wants to spend time with you 🤔 And Lex, babe, the robots are cool and all but you can't like throw them at Superman 😶 That's not how you make friends." Lex tells Bruce to stop, rolling his eyes. Bruce goes on a rant about how the butts match etc. Clark is literally sat so still, trying not to move.

Lex yelling at Bruce when he pretends to not have overheard a conversation Lex was having with an arms dealer in Korean and Lex is all "you speak fourteen languages, Bruce" and you got Bruce who is near tears over this because he only speaks two? "I only speak American and English 😭😭"

Bruce giggling at some charity quiz show panel between Ollie and Lex, because he's so sorry but he doesn't know any countries? Like what are they??? Lex is screaming at him while Ollie hits the button so confidently going "Las Vegas".

Bruce sitting next to Lex on a plane (they're economising for PR) and he's fucking reading a book that's upside down???

Art teacher: *to other teacher* oh, Duke? He’s a good kid, yeah, always helping me put away the supplies after cla—

Halfway across the parking lot:

Jason: *pulls into lot with Dragula blasting from his motorcycle at full volume* EY, DUKE

Duke: *high-fives him, jumps on the still-moving motorcycle with no helmet* yo, I didn’t know you were picking me up!

Jason: hold up. *tosses helmet at him* B would have my head.

Bats: *drive away, Dragula still blasting at full volume*

Art teacher:

*at parent-teacher conference*

Math teacher: Duke’s grades are very stable, he’s an overall delight to have in the class. One of the most mathematically-minded students I’ve come across, for su—

Dick: *scandalized gasp* wait, he’s GOOD at math??? That little fucker’s been lying to get out of grocery duty, then!

New head canon has been acquired idk if this has any bases to it but I love it

So I have gained a head canon that young justice will randomly fuck with their villains or people who caused problems in the team this does include the heros when the do stupid shit

Some examples of this:

lex Luther tries to kidnap Kon and so Tim or Bart hack into his system and make it to where barbie girl plays every single time he walks into the room

The core 4 randomly shooting darkside with confetti or silly string

Kon: This is my friend Tim, he had an appointment in Metropolis and wanted to stop by.

👏🏾Education 👏🏾is 👏🏾a 👏🏾right,👏🏾 not👏🏾 a👏🏾 service 👏🏾

*Alfred coming into the garden with some potted flowers to plant under the sun, all of the boys lounging by the pool nearby*

Damian, sitting on the edge of the pool and dipping his feet in the water: you do do it a lot,

Jason, sunbathing on a sun lounger, sunglasses on: because it’s kinda easy for Tim, B, Dick and I. we’re like basic barbies with interchangeable outfits.

Duke, sat on an inflatable donut in the pool: s’ cause you all have the same kinda build—that brick shithouse energy.

Tim, working on a laptop at the garden table, underneath a parasol: apart from-

Duke: -well yeah, apart from you, but i feel like when you’re smaller than the person you’re trying to imitate then it’s easy because you just pad the suit.

Tim: yeah, that’s fair. i’ve passed myself off as Jay during JL stuff on multiple occasions, it’s not hard.

Jason: *humming in agreement* and the rest of us don’t have to pad at all—unless i’m being Nightwing. then-

Dick, on a lounger next to him, already holding up a hand: -shut up-

Jason, grinning: -then i have to pad my ass a little,

Dick: *smacks him*

Tim: *snickers*

Dick: to be fair, Damian is also a part of this. Tim is easily small enough to still pass as Robin, so he could take Damian's place if we needed.

Duke: *snort of disbelief* are you joking?

Jason, also laughing: yeah- yeah Dick? Tim is the palest motherfucker we have. he ain't passing as shit. he can't even pass as you, that's why i always do it and have him pretend to be me instead.

Tim: yeah- he's right, D. you gotta admit; i'm pasty as shit.

Duke: i honestly only think he could even pass as Jason because of his mask and helmet. like- you look oriental enough that you and B genuinely thought Lady Shiva was a potential match for birth mom.

Jason: that's fair. *wistful* man, i wish it had been her and not Sheila. could you fuckin' imagine if me and Cass were bio-related?

Dick, amused: the murder-twins of the Wayne family.

Jason, gesturing with his hands as if to present: the murder-twins of the Wayne family!

Tim: *snorting* regardless, i might be able to bullshit myself as Jason, but i reflect the sun off my skin enough that anybody who's ever seen Damian before would clock me as an impersonator from a mile away.

Damian: we would have to put so much fake tan on you that i think it would become problematic.

Duke: *cackles*

Dick, grinning: what if it was for a case? what if it was really important to a case, would it be problematic then?

Duke, pointing at Dick: good question. what if it was to save Damian's life?

Damian and Jason: *snickering*

Tim, incredulous: in what fucking universe is there a scenario that me dressing up in brownface would save Damian's life?!

Duke, composure cracking: i- *pause* ... ok i can't think of one off the top of my head-

Tim, indignant: RIGHT, SO-

Dick, visibly holding back laughter: no no no, we're just saying, in a hypothetical world where a scenario has occurred that means Damian's life is in danger, and the only way to save him is to dress up as Robin and pass as Damian, is it ethical?

Damian, completely solemn: *to Tim* would you do it to save me?

Tim: w- i don't- i don't know?!

Duke and Jason: *laughing*

Tim: i mean i guess i'd ask Damian. i'd be trying to pass as him so it's his opinion that matters, right?

Jason: *high-pitched weeping, covering his face with his hands* *muffled* so it's- so Damian has a gun to his head and you're just- on the phone or something with him like 'do you think it's racist if i save your life right now?'

Damian, also grinning: i'm dying and he's texting me just 'is this chill or nah?'

Duke: *wheezes*

Tim: well I DON'T FUCKIN' KNOW?!

Dick, trying to keep composure: i think it's- at least part of it has to come down to the intent and motivation behind it, right? like... nobody got mad at Robert Downey Jr.

Tim, pointing: that's a fair point. in this hypothetical scenario can i call up RDJ and make him save Damian's life?

Jason: *breathless wheezing*

Damian: *cackles*

Duke, also laughing: no- *wheeze* no, it has to be you.

Tim: well i don't- what am i even doing as Robin? do i just have to walk through a room of people that know Damian as Robin without getting clocked?

Damian: maybe you just have to sit through a JLA meeting without getting caught as not me.

Tim: in what universe-

Damian: -just answer, would you save me or not?

Tim, genuinely distressed: i don't feel like there's a good answer here for me?! like- ok, i feel like this would only involve Damian, so if Damian's ok with me putting on a shitton of fake tan to save his life, then i feel like that's the thing i should care about the most, right?

Duke: so you'd save him?

Tim, still distressed: i- probably?!?!? i don't know?!

Jason: *wheezes, leaning towards Dick* he's so scared,

Dick: *silently weeping*

Damian: we're making it too easy by making it only about me,

Tim, incredulous: HELLO?

Damian: i- *wheeze* *cough* no, ok; same scenario, but you don't need to pass yourself off as me to save my life, you have to pass yourself off as Signal.

Duke: ooooooh,

Dick: *falls off his chair* *starts slapping the ground*

Tim, distraught: i don't have an answer to this?!?! why would i have an answer to this?!

Duke, instantly: *eager* no you have to. you have to answer. would you or would you not try and pass yourself off as me in order to save Damian's life.

Damian, stern: now keep in mind, Drake. if you say yes, Thomas will never forgive you. if you say no, then your baby brother will die forever, and it will be all your fault because you a hundred percent could have saved me.

Tim: *face of intense despair* WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?

Duke, genuinely starting to lose it: you have to- you have to- *wheeze*

Damian, grinning at Duke: *turning to Tim* he's right, you have to answer.

Tim: i'd probably fucking kill myself to be honest.

Jason, cupping his hands around his mouth: COP OUT, BOOOOOOO

Tim: oh fuck off- what the hell am i supposed to say? it's the most unethical would you rather of the twenty-first century, there is no good outcome. like- *spots Alfred, peacefully gardening nearby* like- hey, Alfred, what would you do? what do you think?

Alfred:

Alfred:

Alfred: i think these conversations are exactly why Master Bruce won't let any of you start a podcast.

The boys:

Dick: *still weeping on the patio floor*