Enjoying heavy songs - Amygdala
Trigger warnings: I don't mention anything explicit, just vaguely mental health struggles. Of course tread carefully around the MV.
I've recently gotten into reaction videos and as a Yoongi/SUGA/AgustD bias, of course I watch reaction videos of his songs, love to see people fall in love with his music, love to see them be blown away by the raw authenticity of his lyrics, by the emotions he shows.
Of course not all of them are the quality content we like to see, and I've come across plenty of reactions that don't feel genuine, don't show respect to the artist or voice opinions I don't agree with. Of course there's plenty reactions to one of my favourite songs of the whole D-Day album, Amygdala.
To be honest watching reaction videos of this song is a bit hit and miss. Most are not worth watching and I've now started to actively avoid them. There's a few that are worth the time, done by people who have dealt with similar things like depression and ptsd, who appreciate the space AgustD is creating in the public discourse for mental health topics and who genuinely appreciate the music. Most however, just look shocked or squeeze out some fake tears.
They are not the ones that keep me up at night. There was however a thought voiced in one reaction that really bothered me and here we are. But let me explain first what this song means to me.
Amygdala is the song that makes me wanna cry every time I listen, it's a song that I know all the lyrics to and I really can't claim to speak any Korean. It's the song that enables me to sing, yell, shout along to and feel oh so much. It is not a secret, that Yoongi's songs resonate with a lot of people who struggle with things in their lives, be it mental health topics, friends or family issues. His fans relate to him and his music because he gives our struggles a voice.
I am one of them. And although there are a lot of issues I struggle with that I might not be able to address and deal with (yet), his music means so much to me. It enables me to feel all those emotions, to get a release for all the anger, sadness and pain I feel without it needing to be about me. I can feel angry, sad and hurt over his story and still have a cathartic experience, feel relieved about my own issues afterwards.
It's not the only thing Yoongi's music does. He also gives us hope. He shares his journey with us with all its ups and downs, tells us that he has our back, that we can let go, that he's there for us. And he lets us know that he's okay too. That he is better and gives us hope that we can be better too.
I understand that the song deals with a lot of heavy topics. That the MV for Amygdala specifically shows things that are triggering for people and I respect and support people's decision to not watch and/or listen for those reasons. But, and I hope that the people I have heard voice this opinion are the exception, because some have said, that because of the topics of the song that this song and this MV are not something we should enjoy. And I reject this notion with all my heart.
I love this song. I love turning it up loud, dancing and singing along with it. And that's okay. I don't believe that Yoongi made this song, so we only listen once, make a sad face and move on. I don't believe that he made this song, so we say, yes he indeed had a difficult life, pity him and move on.
I am sure he knew that this is not the sort of subject matter that would top the charts. So it leaves the question, why did he do it? It's clear that making music is a way for him to process his own experiences and emotions. His music has always been like that. But I don't think it's far fetched to say that he probably knows that he is helping other people too. I like to think that he has seen at least some of the things people have written about his music, about how it makes people feel seen, how his songs and him talking about these topics makes space for them in the public discourse, makes people feel validated in their struggles. So I like to believe he made this song not just for himself, but also hoping it would help others. And with that in mind, I think it's wrong to insinuate that this song should not be enjoyed, CANNOT be enjoyed. I reject the idea that it should be a song, we can only listen to in silence with a solemn face. Of course his story should be treated with respect. Of course there are settings and ways this song could be consumed that might be inappropriate. But there is a difference between enjoying it and disrespecting it's subject matter.
I can enjoy this song because I feel seen. I can enjoy it, because I know he is better now. I can enjoy it for the emotional release I experience when listening to it. I an enjoy it for the skill that went into creating it. There are so many ways to enjoy this song that don't equal disrespect.
So if there is anyone out there who feels like they shouldn't be allowed to enjoy this song, this is for you. Please turn it up loud and sing along and dance to it and let it make you feel all the emotions. Let us enjoy the music, the beautiful lyrics, let us appreciate the skill with which he made this song.
It is okay to enjoy this song. It is okay to enjoy the MV. Both are brilliant. So much work and skill and dedication went into them. It is okay to feel joy while listening, because he's a brilliant artist, making something so beautiful from so much pain.
There is a delicate balance between wanting people to know this song, wanting people who struggle feel seen, create a platform for mental health topics and feeling like capitalising on pain in a society that is so obsessed with consumption. Maybe I am in a bubble, but I respect the fandom for how mindful they have been in creating content around this song and for the lack of content that uses imagery from the MV specifically in inappropriate ways.
But this should not mean, we should not "consume" the song and the MV. The worst we could do to this song is push it aside because "it's too heavy" or too delicate of a topic to talk about.
Let us enjoy the story he tells, the pain he sings about, the cry for help this song so clearly is. Let us enjoy it and feel it. Because despite his struggles, he is still here. And because even if we struggle, we are still here. Let this song be the voice that says, I struggle too and it's okay. Let us listen to it and remind ourselves. Let us talk about it and support each other. Because we are still here and we are not alone.
