Kokichi and the Pyramid Earth
Okay so Iâm sleepy high (I have not slept all night/day) and I remembered this really stupid yet hilarious thing I did for my role play blog(s) with Kokichi, so sit down, gather round, itâs time I tell you a story about why Kokichi wouldnât pretend to be a flat earther to tease Kaito and rile him upâŚ
⌠Heâd pretend that the Earth was a fucking pyramid.
I think the best way to experience this is to let Kokichi do the talking himself so Iâm just gonna copy-paste his own ridiculous nonsense here for everyone to enjoy:
âRound earth? Flat Earth? Nonsense! Everyone knows
our planet is in the shape of a pyramid.
Ancient Egyptian aliens came to earth and made our
planet,but then once we advanced in technology we
drove the aliens underground to our Earthâs core
where they have rave parties that cause earthquakes
and use magma to cook their food andâ
Oh oh and the Egyptian space-aliens are the reason
why our ocean has waves! They have a giant irrigation
system under our ocean and they suck water from the
cracks in the earth, which is why we have waves in the
ocean! Doesnât it make sense now? I mean the ocean is
technically a still body of water, yet it moves like
why does it move? It has no reason to move, unless you
account for the water displacement caused by the aliens
that live in the earthâs pyramid-shaped core!
Oh yeah, I never clarified on the BBQs did I? Well The
Egyptian-aliens that live in the center of our pyramid-shaped
earth not only throw intense rave parties that cause earthquakes,
but they also have these mass BBQs where they use molten rock
from the earthâs mantle to cook their food. The excess molten
rock is then disposed of in mountains to harden. Thatâs why we
have mountains!
And and, thatâs why we also have volcanoes. Sometimes the molten
rock doesnât harden in time and pop goes a mountain! Lava makes
volcanic soil rich and great for farming because the Egyptian-aliens
dump food waste into the molten rock before sending it up. Itâs true!
Anyway back to the ocean and water displacement stuff, the aliens
have to boil out the salt though, so some of the water turns back
into steam and makes its way back to the surface. The evaporated
water then turns into rain, and thatâs why it rains!Â
Oh oh, and you know the animals we all thought were extinct? The
Aliens took the animals down there to keep for themselves as
livestock and to preserve the population of the species. So all of
the dinosaurs that we thought went extinct are actually thriving in
the center of the earth! The aliens are said to keep T-rexs as pets
and ride on their backs!Â
Sometimes, animals in the core will cross breed and make entirely
new species of animals, and when thereâs enough, the aliens release
the new species of animal on the surface and thatâs why we keep
discovering new species of animals!â
And that concludes Kokichiâs TED TALK about the Earth being a fucking pyramid instead of round or flat, thanks for coming, have a good day/night