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weird and off-putting but endearingly so

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what I gathered so far from Meronia Fanon Consensus is that many people tend to make near more self-aware (near??) and conscious of their dynamic. resulting in somewhat absurd uhh bl-tropes-induced situation where near figured it all out at age zero and is willing to graciously and faithfully wait till mello gets over his baseless badboy hysterics. and I’m not saying mello is without his delusions fuelled by insecurities, just that I can’t say they are completely divorced from reality. like… we are shown that near is impassive, withdrawn, immature, willing to use people (including mello) as means to an end, has a very high opinion of himself (being told throughout your life that you’re the specialest cookie ever does that to a person) and unless the stakes are worth it is not willing to inconvenience himself. not to mention his negative social skills. this guy is NOT equipped for feelings realisations much less doing something sensible about them unless put under extreme pressure
and at the end of the day it’s just boring? mello’s reservations about their dynamic without the degree of realism that near’s shitty behaviour lends them become too silly. but at least mello has his own shit to deal with. unlike near whose only job is to ruefully wait until mello calms down. why throw away their mutual fun canon dysfunction? #not my monkeys
I am interested to know where your fanon meronia assessment is coming from. Meta posts, fanfiction, comics? Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds like your take away is that the meronia fanon consensus of Near is that he has figured out his feeling for Mello, figured out Mello's feelings for him, and is calmly waiting for Mello to get over himself so they can be together? If my understanding is correct, it feels like a surface level (or worst case, bad faith) read of how I have seen the fandom explore the ship through Near. As you point out, Near is stoic and withdrawn, which is why a lot of fic authors write him as more introspective on his own feelings when exploring him in a romantic context. I have not gotten a sense that it is a trope that Near is aware of Mello's feelings for him, if anything I have seen the opposite much more often. Near's passiveness in this context is a result of him thinking that he has no chance and thus is not going to try for more than proximity to Mello. It is how some people interpret his bad social skills, even if he thinks that Mello doesn't really hate him (which I think is well illustrated in their reunion scene), he is not going to try to proposition him.
I also disagree with some of your interpretations of Near. Near is not purely impassive. We see him smile, giggle, smash toys in frustration, flinch in fear, as well point blank express that he is upset or scared. He is not devoid of emotion, he just expresses it differently than most. I don't think he uses people. He states his intentions for what he wants from people and gives them the choice to work with him or not. He is incredibly blunt about it which often makes it come off as uncaring, but he also states multiple times that he understands if people do not want to put themselves at risk. I don't think he's shown to have an overly high opinion of himself. While he has been told that he is "special" enough to succeed L he knows he was not chosen outright. He got the role to himself because Mello left. From most of Near's dialogue about L, I would say that he thinks of L as the "specialist little cookie" who he will never be able to live up to on his own. Though, I do think he is a little prince about a lot of things, he is especially not used to hearing "No". I don't think any of these points stop him from having realizations about his own feelings, he is still a very smart person. What he does with them of course is where fan works thrive.
And of course Mello is not purely hysterical, Near does know how to hit a nerve in him and vice versa. Most meronia fans that create fan works are exploring that tension in all kinds of different ways. I've seen so many different interpretation of their dynamic in the meronia fandom, all of which are very influenced by the conditions of the universe they are set it. It's rare that meronia will be purely set in the canon timeline given that Mello is, well, dead in that one.
Also, in reference to your reply: While true, it is your blog and you can post whatever you want, posting something calling the majority of fan interpretations "absurd ahh bl-tropes" and "boring" into the ship tag is kind of as close as you can get to calling people out by name without actually doing it. There are not that many people actively making work and they're doing it for their enjoyment and the enjoyment of others.
woah… alright, so. though I chose a pretty specific example, as I said the gist of my bitching is (as it often happens in fandom) there’s noticeable gap between the level of inner life/agency/shortcomings that have to be overcome given to each character in a ship. while it could be said that their proactive/reactive dualism is the point, which I can agree with in a lot of cases. but character’s passivity, in actions or thoughts, is something that can be addressed and woven into the plot. whereas in near’s case it often looks like it’s less his own developed trait and more like passivity inherent to Designated Love Interest. this is an existing trend in fandoms that amounts to more than each person’s personal preference/interpretation.
as for my interpretation of near you’re right that points I made can be given counterexamples. I don’t really think he’s just the sum of flaws I listed. however I do think each is present in canon to some degree. and specifically mentioned them as a sort of… example? why mellos antipathy towards near isnt nonsensical or influenced solely by his insecurities/cultivated rivalry. also because I think overlooking characters flaws is just as detrimental as overlooking their good qualities. let near be an asshole my 2026 campaign.
anyway I do realise people’s preferences regarding fandom activity/shipping are influenced by many factors and the end goal is to have a good time. however imo complaining without singling anyone out is not really close to unwanted/unwarranted open confrontations. I could’ve expressed my point more politely but ultimately I feel there’s a certain level of rudeness that is acceptable in these situations thanks to ease of managing one’s online experience
thanks for your response. although I think it’s “everyone will stick to their own opinions” situation, you expressed your point well
what I gathered so far from Meronia Fanon Consensus is that many people tend to make near more self-aware (near??) and conscious of their dynamic. resulting in somewhat absurd uhh bl-tropes-induced situation where near figured it all out at age zero and is willing to graciously and faithfully wait till mello gets over his baseless badboy hysterics. and I’m not saying mello is without his delusions fuelled by insecurities, just that I can’t say they are completely divorced from reality. like… we are shown that near is impassive, withdrawn, immature, willing to use people (including mello) as means to an end, has a very high opinion of himself (being told throughout your life that you’re the specialest cookie ever does that to a person) and unless the stakes are worth it is not willing to inconvenience himself. not to mention his negative social skills. this guy is NOT equipped for feelings realisations much less doing something sensible about them unless put under extreme pressure
and at the end of the day it’s just boring? mello’s reservations about their dynamic without the degree of realism that near’s shitty behaviour lends them become too silly. but at least mello has his own shit to deal with. unlike near whose only job is to ruefully wait until mello calms down. why throw away their mutual fun canon dysfunction? #not my monkeys
quillsh wammy is genuinely so funny. literally a dude going ok this omelas kid idea is working out so well I should just build an omelas kids factory
near prophetic perfect tensed mello as deadwife when he started carrying his “dear mello” photo under shirt. probably stared at it imagining mello doing dead wife stuff like touching grass and having emotions too. like no shit mello then had to dramatically die to save his ass. near brought this upon himself

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i don't disagree with the view that near eating chocolate at the end of the manga is a very sweet tribute but i will not lie the first time i read it i was like (nodding) symbolic cannibalism (nodding some more) i support you forever near
reentering dn fandom is kind of embarrassing in general… this story has already been disassembled into atoms and each separate atom has its own 3000+ words essay. a heavy blow for my #provider mentality
someone must’ve done it before cause it’s Literally Them for realsies but idc some things you just have to do for yourself. meme selfcare
near…. larvae-coded character of all time….
not really an unpopular opinion but gay light is so boring…. could be said about many “functionally asexual” male anime characters since it sort of shuts down conversation about misogyny, homosociality and how they facilitate red pill ideal of a man who is Above base attraction to inferior females and thus is able to achieve his full potential. but with light especially its a choice that makes him (and ironically the appeal of lawlight) so much flatter. I need him locked in a loveless love triangle from hell
Light doesn't like alot of people in general. He just sees women as even worse than men in intelligence. But I won't be shocked if he sees men as less morally pure either, which is why he ses himself as the only one who can fix things. He thinks he has the highest intelligence and the greatest morals to fix things. He wants legal and moral authority. I think making this solely about his misogyny even more boring. He doesn't respect L because L is male, he respects L because L is like him. He would definitely be shocked if L was a woman, but would respect her nevertheless, he might exam a fem!L like an interesting specimen and wait to see the 'easy female' moment and be shocked and impressed that L is more like Light and more intelligent and ruthless than any man Light knows and will overthink everything.
I feel like Light acts very feminine himself at times because he is a very moralistic person as much as he is an apathetic one and he sees himself as morally superior just as much as he sees himself as intellectually superior and he doesn't know how to be healthy and balanced about these two selfs. The intellectual, bored amoral genius and the moralfag who wants to help everyone and make this world a better place.
to clarify my point, I was talking about fandom discussions surrounding this archetype in fiction and not stating that light is like ultraincel (although he absolutely is a misogynist). my frustration is that often people see male characters who express zero interest in sex but have some charged rivalry with another dude and jump to “haha he’s just gay (in denial)” rather than examine why authors are only capable of writing complicated deep connection between male characters. their disinterest in sex is supposed to be cool, admirable trait indicating commitment to the cause and immunity to cheap feminine wiles and absolutely not a sign of homosexuality
so I often prefer to work with them as intended in text (well not.. really. but to classify them as asexuals). definitely in lights case, since absolute self-absorption is his defining trait and viewing his dynamic with L (and his treatment of misa) through gay romance lens is imo boring oversimplification

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not really an unpopular opinion but gay light is so boring…. could be said about many “functionally asexual” male anime characters since it sort of shuts down conversation about misogyny, homosociality and how they facilitate red pill ideal of a man who is Above base attraction to inferior females and thus is able to achieve his full potential. but with light especially its a choice that makes him (and ironically the appeal of lawlight) so much flatter. I need him locked in a loveless love triangle from hell
ok another brilliant au idea this guy manages to get them to join and the rest of the manga is sports. all the other stuff is practically the same
I made a comprehensive list of every time Mello and Near interact/mention each other/think about each other in the manga (minus a few brief mentions because they didn’t feel notable enough; things like Near saying that Light wants him and Mello dead, etc). I compiled this for my own reference, but I figured someone else might find it useful so here it is!
Chapter 59
- Mello walks past a room at Wammy’s House where Near is sitting and appears to look in
- Mello and Near are called into Roger’s office and informed of L’s death
Chapter 60
- Mello thinks about how much he wants to beat Near, establishing their rivalry and Mello’s primary motivation throughout the mafia arc
Chapter 61
- Continuation of Roger’s office scene
- There is a flashback where Mello receives a paper graded less than Near’s and glances back to see a crowd of students admiring Near’s score
- Mello hands L’s role over to Near
- Near is quite willing to work with Mello and looks sad, or perhaps a little annoyed, when he leaves
Chapter 62
- Near pulls Mello’s photo out of… where exactly?? His shirt???
Chapter 63
- Near says “it might be better if the notebook moves from the hands of the Japanese police into someone else’s possession”. I find this line interesting because the context suggests that he wants Mello to get the notebook; he’s talking about how he’s going to let L, who he sees as incompetent, deal with the kidnapping, i.e., he assumes L will fail to negotiate and the Death Note will be handed over to the mafia, so the line suggests that this could be a good thing (or at least the lesser of two evils, in which the mafia having the Death Note is more favourable than the task force having the Death Note). Maybe Near assumes that Mello acquiring the Death Note will result in the SPK ultimately getting more information about it, which isn’t technically wrong, but there is the intermediate step that many of his employees will be killed… there is no indication that he predicted that, though
Chapter 64
- Near looks like he’s smiling each time Mello outsmarts Light. Per my previous ramble, this could be another sign that he wants Mello to acquire the Death Note and is excited that Light is failing to prevent this. Alternatively, he finds it funny that Light is so incompetent. Or a combination of the two.
Chapter 65
- Near interrogates Mr Yagami about whether Mello was eating chocolate, and sort of compliments his plan by describing it as “elaborate”
Chapter 66
- Mello kills most of the SPK’s members
- Near tells Light about Mello
- The task force receives the drawings of Mello and Near, in addition to information about Wammy’s House
Chapter 67
- Near tells Light he is going to capture Mello and tries to explain Mello’s thought process behind sparing Chief Yagami and certain members of the SPK – it’s clear he understands Mello’s psyche in depth, and also feels that he is one of the people who matters to Mello (“Kira, you and L are all just people standing in his way”), though obviously not in a positive way
- Near states that “Mello isn’t stupid”
Chapter 68
- Mello requests that the president tell him all the SPK’s movements, meanwhile Near tries to track Mello
Chapter 75
- Near mentions Mello when discussing the fact that the task force joined up with Kira
- He says the words “Luckily, Mello escaped”, suggesting that he is happy Mello survived. There are several ways to interpret this. A) He believes Mello will cooperate with him at some point, which is also supported in chapter 76. B) He believes Mello has the knowledge and skills to track down Kira on his own (and to Near, either of them catching Kira is a victory). C) He did not want Mello to die for sentimental reasons. Mello is someone he grew up with and canonically, he likes and cares about Mello. I could realistically believe that Kira aside, Near was just glad that Mello lived
Chapter 76
- Light says, “Near would probably believe Mello” and damn right he would
- Near once again analyses Mello’s thought process and basically implies that he needs Mello in order to progress through the case. He asks his team to give Mello all their information if they come into contact with him
- Mello thinks about Near whilst an attractive woman showers in front of him
- Mello visits Near’s headquarters in his classic dramatic fashion and Near welcomes him
Chapter 77
- Near defends Mello when Gevanni and Rester act wary of him
- Near compliments Mello’s achievements in the case thus far, which Mello misinterprets as Near using him as a tool
- Near gives back Mello’s photo (once again, pulling it out of his shirt) in exchange for information
- “Dear Mello” is written on the back of the photo which indicates to Mello that Near always intended to give it back and wasn’t just holding it for future blackmail or with some other malicious intent
- Mello gives his iconic “I’ll be waiting for you” line
Chapter 78
- Near lies to the task force about the circumstances of Mello’s visit
- Light tries to convince Near that Mello is lying to him, but Near doesn’t even entertain the notion
- Near says “I believe Mello over a Shinigami”
- Near volunteers to write Mello’s name in the Death Note, expecting the task force to say no
Chapter 79
- Mello sends Mogi to the SPK headquarters and tells Near he’s good at interrogating; Near is impressed with Mello’s plans
- Near justifies Mello’s questionable actions to Mogi
- Near’s hideout gets raided two days later whilst Mello is still on the phone, which suggests that they’ve been working together to interrogate Mogi for those two days (or they’ve at least been in contact with each other)
- Light proposes that Mello was responsible for the attack which Near doesn’t buy for a second
Chapter 80
- Near tells Mello that he’s going to escape from the SPK building
- Mello looks annoyed when the raid happens – it could be because his plan was interrupted, or some rare semblance of concern for Near’s wellbeing (I am firmly of the belief that he never wanted Near to get hurt or die, even if it was just because a victory by default is not a victory in his eyes), or it could also be related the fact that Near is discarding a very large portion of a fortune that Mello was a potential heir to
Chapter 82
- Near explains Mello’s thought process in detail to Aizawa with the context of their upbringing at Wammy’s House
Chapter 83
- Near asks Lidner to give Mello information about the case, except that Light is L as he has faith that Mello will also reach that conclusion – presumably, if Mello independently identifies Light as the prime suspect, it would strengthen his conviction
- Mello correctly assumes that Near wanted Lidner to give him all his information, but does a lot of mental gymnastics to convince himself that they’re just doing favours for one another rather than outright working together
Chapter 85
- Mello tries to guess what Near was thinking when he gave Mello information, nothing particularly notable but it’s interesting that they both have a good understanding of one another and their thought processes/working styles
Chapter 86
- Continuation of Mello pondering Near’s intentions in giving him information. Interesting to note that he doesn’t come across as angry at all when he thinks about Near – the interaction in chapter 77 was tense but it really feels like he mellows out after that (pun intended)
Chapter 90
- Near mentions that Mello is a wanted criminal, and that he “lets his emotions control him”
Chapter 94
- This is the first time Near’s finger puppets are shown, and Mello’s puppet is positioned next to his in the collection. They seem to be arranged by organisation (so the SPK’s puppets are together, the task force’s puppets are together, and Near and Mello’s are side-by-side in the middle)
Chapter 99
- Near is frustrated by Mello interfering, and asks Lidner to stop him “at all costs” – this is one of the few times that Near seems genuinely angry in the manga
- Near mentions that Mello wouldn’t respond if he contacted him
Chapter 100
- There isn’t much shown of Near’s reaction to Mello’s death (even his facial expressions are hidden) and he is very quick to cut Lidner off when she’s about to mention him
Chapter 103
- Near retrieves Mello’s puppet and gives him credit for the victory. His eyes are obscured in these panels
Chapter 104
- Near goes into detail about why he owes the victory to Mello, and explains that he has always believed the two of them could only surpass L together rather than alone
- Lidner mentions that in her last conversation with Mello, he said “I guess I’m going to have to do it”, and when he’s shown, he looks very sombre – Near doesn’t believe he thought far ahead enough to know that the notebook in Near’s possession was fake, but there is an implication that the act of kidnapping Takada was done in an effort to assist Near, rather than surpass him as was his goal in the beginning
- Mello’s eyes are obscured in the panel that’s shown of him, and Near’s eyes are obscured most of the time whilst he’s talking about Mello – this doesn’t necessarily mean anything but it makes them look sad. I find it hard to believe this wasn’t deliberate
Chapter 108
- Near is shown eating a bar of chocolate
reject “lawlight & light isn’t kira” aus cause L wouldn’t give a single fuck if this dude wasn’t his ugly and true reflection aka mass murderer with a god complex. however one must recognize the need for exceptions. scenario where lawlight somehow end up (working) together & like six months in L manages to piss light off enough for him to decide to go amy dunne is lowkey my crackcocaine
I had a feeling someone else had the same stroke of genius. now I just have to find them. and I will.
reject “lawlight & light isn’t kira” aus cause L wouldn’t give a single fuck if this dude wasn’t his ugly and true reflection aka mass murderer with a god complex. however one must recognize the need for exceptions. scenario where lawlight somehow end up (working) together & like six months in L manages to piss light off enough for him to decide to go amy dunne is lowkey my crackcocaine

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