hit me with a 2x4 and ill probably moan

It’s just me and my stupid clit against the fucking world

my diva moment will have casualties

sorry i barked when i saw your happy trail do you still want me

Your testosterone is natural? Mine is imported and designer. Loser.

Back hurts need someone to let me lay on their lap and massage the pain out of my back and play with my hair and tell me I did so good today because I did so good today

need someone older than me to talk to me condescendingly with their hands in my hair while i whine and grind against their thigh

you can use your paws to cause events

"this movie doesn't hold up bcos of dated special effects :(" to you, maybe. i would clap at a bat on a string

petplay is crazy. why does my dog have clinical depression

what the fuck man you cant do that

what if someone kept me in their basement as their pet puppy and they fed me high strength edibles at every meal and kept me permanently high

puppies who get bitey when they’re excited. puppies whose teeth are sharper than they realise. puppies who use their owners as chew toys when given the chance. bitey puppies

good morning soft sad freaks on an unprofitable website

dreaming of wearing another man’s hoodie with nothing but my boxers hidden underneath it