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*me talking to a guy with a penis* listen here, penis boy.

I would chortle so hard if someone addressed me this way

the hard chortler

part of being an ally to trans men is not being a dick to cis men for their appearance btw

the short trans men hear you. the trans men with bottom growth—or who are post-phalloplasty—hear your bad jokes about small dicks. the trans men undergoing hrt who are losing their hair hear you talk shit about bald spots.

also, hot take, you should care about not hurting random cis men in addition to not hurting trans men. like just because some guy is being an asshole online doesn’t mean the thousands of young boys reading your comments about someone with their same acne deserved it. i don’t care what your reason is, even if you think someone is bad enough to warrant being bullied, who gave you permission to hurt the innocent bystander?

hey y’all should spread this version bc some people need to hear this context

my gender is becoming queerer

I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw

you are so beautiful in every way

We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible

When I had a Regular Job™ I would just go in with my raging IBS and spend half my shift on the shitter, clocked in ofc. 💅

Fr like whether you like it or not, tell us abt your "concerns" or not, make fun of us or not, we will still be fat. And that, quite frankly, is none of your business why that is.

Fat people are genetically superior.

the older i get, the more i need time & personal space to be as boring as possible

I understand old men sitting on porches staring at an empty field more now than ever.

I worked at an old folks home for 5 years and I always got along w the residents, because I understood them, I too am grumpy and cranky.

bitches will have the scared disorder and be like why am i so scared

what they dont want you to know about gender affirming surgery is when the doctors are done for the day they take all the cut off boobs and penises and play an epic game of bowling

*flub flub flub flub flub* sound of a bewb being bowled

dear professor i wont be doing your essay because i think humans should only ever cook, do drugs, and fuck nasty. regards.

i wish pussy were deepthroatable

It is if you shove your tongue in til you choke while sucking their clit 🤌

ive never seen a saw movie but i like how people talk about them on here. i like how saw starts off every trap with a greeting and a description of what is going on like a subsitute teacher reading the lesson plan out loud. it’s nice. i feel at home

SAW is only okay, tbh, fell asleep during the first two, eventually finished the first one but I kept falling asleep it's p basic. Never did finish the second one.

In other exciting news, water is wet, bears shit in the woods etc. 🤣