Your Trans Big Sister

(yeah we masterpoastin')

why isn't incest wrong?

what systems does kinamophobia uphold?

what systems does kinamophobia uphold? cont.

the sampling bias

the sampling bias cont.

what makes a thing wrong?

incest as a social construct

the types of kinamophobes

no such thing as thoughtcrime

how are lines defined?

She grabbed the papers and wordlessly rolled the perfect little J, shot me a smile while she licked it shut and lit it up, took a nice long puff before passing it to me, it tasted like her lip balm, something fruity and artificially sweet, I took a long inhale and nearly died on the exhale, she smoked better stuff than my highschool aged ass could get my hands on,

She shot me a look that read both “shut the fuck up so we don’t get caught” and “you’re adorable” as I choked through the smoke, I passed it back to her and leaned into the metal side plating of the little dugout we were in, it was barley big enough for the two of us to stand in, let alone be criss cross, our legs were smushed together, at first I’d tried to shy away, I was still in the “I can’t be touching women, im a danger to those around me” headspace but she’d smiled at me and told me to just get comfortable,

I’d melted at that smile, her mischievous little smile, we’d passed it back and forth until nothing but a roach was left, and the stars above felt like they were spinning, I don’t remember when or how it happened but I ended up leaning on her shoulder, we were the perfect heights that when I did I went right into the crook of her neck, it wasn’t until I felt her shuffle a bit that I realized where I was, I started to panic and got all red and tried to pull away, but she assured me that it was ok, that it was nice, that she liked it, her and her sister weren’t the most affectionate, in fact I’d seen her little sister pin her to the floor and nearly rip her pony tail off, but that’s not important for this story,

I scooted back in, and snuggled my head on her shoulder and looked up at the stars, we sat there together, in silence for what felt like hours, just watching the sky together, I didn’t notice her arms wrap around me, just one at first, around my shoulder, and down my back, to better prop me up, I told myself, until her other arm came around the front half of my torso, and she was pulling me in closer, closing the distance between our bodies, I held my breath as our chests met, mine not yet budding, hers soft and full, she stared down at me with a look I hadn’t seen before, one I didn’t recognize at the time, a look that still haunts me, somewhere between longing and lust, I think she was the first one to see me, really see me,

I don't talk trash about things that don't hurt people, I move about life with a kind soul

I don't talk trash about incest irl either if I can help it. I remain as neutral as I possibly can. If I can't be open about my support for incest, I at least won't be openly hateful

You really never know who's listening, and if it's someone who's in an incestuous relationship, I don't wanna add to the hate they already receive. Especially since I don't believe incest is inherently abusive, why would I lie to look like a good person to those who don't think critically about incest?

it was a long day, and you finally got to lay down in bed. your big sister was already on the other side, doing her usual routine of a little doom scrolling before sleeping. you feel like it's a little embarrassing that you and your sister share a bed despite both of you being in your 20s, but having two separate beds? in this economy? there's just no way it would've happened with your meager combined income.

despite the circumstances, you always look forward to this a bit. before you two moved in together to split the rent, you'd never really slept in the same bed as another person before. even though she's your sister and you'd never do anything weird with her, you appreciate the warmth she gives off, and the comfort of just having another person nearby. you didn't realize how lonely it was before.

"sis?"

she's already done doom scrolling?

"y-yeah?"

"you okay? you had a longer shift today and haven't really said anything tonight, so..."

"oh! i'm okay, thanks though. just thinking about stuff."

"aight."

anddd she's already swiping through tiktoks.

you've always appreciated her. she normally acts calm and cool around others, but she always warms up around you. you're not sure if it's the more feminine style you go for in comparison to the alternative getups she prefers, or if it's just a sister thing. or maybe a secret third thing.

you actually think about that secret third thing sometimes. it was easy to push into the back of your mind back when you both lived at home, but now that you're physically close like this all the time, it's harder to ignore. there's no way she feels the same as you do. there's no other girl on the planet that could have an actual, lovey dovey, very real, crush, on her big sist-

"'kay, i'm going to bed. night."

god, that voice.

"oh, night."

the glow of her phone disappears and now you only see darkness. you hear the groan of the mattress as she turns over - towards you. this is normal. she does it every night. but of course, since your train of thought is heading towards her lips, it's now going to be an issue for you trying to get a good night's sleep. you turn over, towards her, as well. like you always do.

a few minutes pass, and it's hopeless. you can feel the warmth radiating from her. the audible rhythm of her breath, inches from your face. one of her hands is near yours, under the covers. fuck it. you gently hold it. in the dark, you just barely see her eyes flutter open.

"y'good?"

"sorry, just...feeling bleh."

"that's cool. you want a hug?"

now your eyes flutter, no, snap open. is she trying to tempt you? i mean, rationally, you Know she means well, but-

*mhm."

"okay, c'mere."

you shuffle towards her, and feel her arms wrap around you. in your internal gay panic, you don't realize a minute has passed and she still hasn't let go.

"lemme know if you get sick of this."

oh, she's not letting go. and she's rubbing your back now. and playing with your hair. is she fucking with you? there's no way she could feel the same, right? or is it her weird idea of platonic?

you can't keep this up. you love her, you love her touch, and you'd give anything for this to never end. but she has to know how you really feel, or else stuff like this will never truly feel right to you. even if it means destroying your relationship. you've felt this way for years. she has to know, no matter what.

"s-sis?"

"yeah, what's up?"

"um, can i tell you something? and don't let go, please."

"uh, okay."

"okay, um. would it be weird if i had a c,..crush on you?"

"a little, y-"

"i know it's wrong, and i shouldn't feel that way, but I can't h-"

"wait, this isn't hypothetical?"

she shifts away a bit so she can see your eyes, however difficult that is in the dark.

"i'm so sorry, sis. i-i don't have the words, i know i'm fucked up and that-"

"hold on, hold on, it's okay. calm down, sis. it's fine."

"but it's Not Fi-"

"it Is Fine! you're my sister, dummy, i wouldn't just throw you away over something like that!"

she raised her voice a bit at first, but soon lowered her volume, knowing your sensitivity. you still can't help but shrink back and feel your throat tighten. thoughts of your deadbeat father start coming to mind, but you try your best to fight them.

"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry, sis. i didn't mean to raise my voice. it's not fair to you. come here, please? can i hold you some more?"

her sweet voice helps ground you, and you return to her tight embrace. you both sit in silence for a few minutes, processing. then, your big sis says words you never thought you would hear.

"i know this...is a bit of a leap from a sudden confession of love, but...do you want a kiss? would that help?"

your mind becomes a whirlwind of thoughts. is it a pity kiss? a real kiss? a test to see if She likes it? will this become a habit? a one time thing? fuck, what if it's all a ruse and she tells her friends as a crazy story?

"sis?"

"ah, um...d-..do you love me back? y'know, uh...romantically,,"

"i... i want to. for you. it seems like it makes you really happy."

no. this is real? a happy ending? what the fuck?

"i, uh, okay. c..can you kiss me, then?"

"mhm."

and with that, her face comes closer, the warmth strengthening, her soft skin touching yours strands of hair tickling your face. its everything you wanted. then your lips meet. no makeup, no chapstick, no moisturizer, nothing. just her. at her purest. you want it to last forever. it's only a few seconds, but it feels like 5 minutes with every micron of feeling burning into your memory. you've never felt such ecstasy.

your lips separate and she looks into your eyes, waiting patiently. she wants to know. did you like it? did you hate it? was it just a phase for you?

you start crying, years of little whimpers coming out as you bury your head in her chest. it's muffled, but understandable.

"thank you, thank you thank you thank you, sis, i love you so so so much, i, i needed this so much, i-"

"shhhh. you're safe. you're with me now, okay? we can do this whenever you want."

"b-but we're sisters, it's wr-"

" we both want it, silly."

you sob harder. why did you wait so long?

"okay, okay. shhh. relax. i know it must've been hard holding this in. you've got me now. for real. i'm pretty sure i'm a convert, now."

"i love you so much, sis. so fucking much."

"i love you too, you silly anxious baby. you won't be alone anymore, okay?"

"mhm.."