..

but you deserve to give informed consent to that process.

the lies around pregnancy - that it's inherently safe, that it doesn't do you permanent damage, that it's only extremely rare for people to die of pregnancy complications, etc like

all of these are lies constructed so that more people will get pregnant w/o knowing all that

there needs to be more talk about the impact of miscarriages and how common they are, how different abortion processes are and how accessible they are

but also like. talking about how pregnancy fucks your body up should not be taboo

this is a process that permanently changes most people's bodies, and that's even if the pregnancy doesn't do them like. severe illness or injury

and i just think everybody should have a right to KNOW that

When I was pregnant I was in a million forums for pregnant people because (cough adhd hyperfixation) and I had something called SPD (Symphysis pubis dysfunction) (not Sensory Processing Disorder though I also have that) which is where your pubic bones separate early (more or less) because they get all loosey goosey as your body gets ready to crank that baby out.

Except my pubic bone got confused and got misaligned at like 3 months pregnant. I could barely walk. I couldn't roll over in bed. Doing something that required me to shift my weight from one foot to another like opening a door knob was like an excruciatingly painful knife being stabbed into my pubic bone, I can't express how intense and blinding it was.

So I am in one million baby forums like "am I dying what is happening why is there a knife in my pubic bone" and all these people are like "I have that too! my doctor says it's normal and not to worry because it doesn't hurt the baby. I just deal with it by laying in bed for months in excruciating pain and think about how lucky I am to be having a little miracle growing in my body."

So lol nope. I went to my midwife and they are like, "Oh squeeze a can between your knees look up a physical therapy youtube on SPD" and I did that can-squeeze thing and it CURED THE PROBLEM in ONE DAY. I had been SUFFERING, y'all, it felt miraculous.

And I was so full of rage (flames, flames on the side of my face) that people are being told "Oh, it's NORMAL just deal with it" "It doesn't hurt the baby." Like, look, yes it's NORMAL but it's 100% treatable!!! SPD (again, not Sensory processing disorder) affects 1 in 5 pregnant people.

I was lucky to have amazing midwives (need a gender neutral term for that profession, but they see pregnant men and women)(side note highly recommend midwives if you are gender nonconfirming/a man/etc) and I have DOZENS of examples of shit like this.

Some people in moderate car crashes are very lucky, and walk away with zero injury. Some are very unlucky, and die. But most people fall into the third category, where they'll be injured at the time, then heal, and then for the rest of their life they have some minor and liveable complication from the injury. Like a knee that lets you know when the rain is coming, or a back that doesn't like seats without lumbar support, or a shoulder that never quite gets its full range of motion back.

she's been suffering with this since she gave birth to me. I'm 38 years old. she had that surgery last week.

Granted, it still needs to be updated because not just women give birth.

Here is an etymologically equivalent but gender neutral term I just made:

transandrophobia is real

transmisogyny is real

exorsexism is real

turn friendly fire off

>ask if its sexual appreciation of trans men or a boypussy fetish

>they dont understand

>explain that being attracted to trans men and talking about it is normal and good but trans men have all sorts of different bodies and sexual preferences and a lot of trans men dont have vaginas or dont want anything to do with that part of themselves and even a lot of trans men who do have vaginas and like using them during sex dont want to just be fetishized for being a man with a vagina

>they laugh and say "we love and support trans men sir"

>look inside

"egg is for trans women"

"tranny is only reclaimable by trans women"

"femboy is only reclaimable by trans women"

great. lets blame a marginalized group daring to speak about their own opression for fascism.

People will say things like, "Holding onto anger isn't healthy," and I understand what they're trying to say. If years go by and anger is the only place you're able to live, it can absolutely keep you stuck.

But I also think there's a difference between staying angry forever and allowing yourself to be angry while you're healing.

For a lot of survivors, anger is actually an important part of recovery. It can be the moment you stop blaming yourself. The moment you stop minimizing what happened. The moment you realize that you deserved better.

Many of us spent years making excuses for the people who hurt us. We focused on their trauma, their intentions, their struggles, and their pain. We understood them so well that we forgot to make room for our own feelings.

Sometimes anger is what creates that space.

That doesn't mean anger should be taken out on other people. It doesn't mean every angry reaction is healthy. But the feeling itself isn't automatically a problem.

Sometimes anger is simply grief with boundaries.

Sometimes it's self-respect showing up for the first time.

I have a whole section in my post explicitly pointing out that I am not aiming it at the representation (of transfemmes & nonbinary people) that is there. Thanks for proving me right in thinking tumblr needs every single thing simplified down to toddler thinking levels otherwise none of you can fucking read.

No one said trans women are properly represented. A lot of the transfem "rep" in media is fetishization and tokenization just to be there. No one said a single fucking thing about the quality of transfem or nonbinary rep in media.

All I said was this: trans men and transmascs are an afterthought among the already dire queer representation in media.

Is this obvious enough? Do I need to spell it out more?

If you took it as me viewing our sisters as the enemy, congrats for being the very fucking idiot I thought about when adding my "btw, before anyone crawls out of the woodwork, clarification:" section in that post. I literally can't stand you.

Kirara Hoshi (JJK)

Denise Bryson (Twin Peaks)

Donna Gibson (Grey's Anatomy)

Carla (Mr. Robot)