Trains of thoughts

Three men lost their lives protecting their girlfriends in the Colorado shooting. They willingly risked their lives to protect women who didn't even have marital or blood ties with them.

Many have asked: if God is good, then why is there suffering in this world?  That's a loaded question and there is no one easy answer to it but this article shows one glimpse of purpose (or silver lining) for such tragedy. Without the shooting, I wouldn't know that heroic people such as these exist.  Call me grim but I thought these stories exist only in fictional works. The truth is, this story gives me hope in humanity. 

Now, is this purpose alone worth burying so many others and grieving even more loved ones who will miss them?  That I can't answer because I don't have the visibility of the effects of this shooting to humans in this world.  Only God does. 

This one incident highlights how evil and honorable human can be.  It shows the consequences of free will.  Like it or not, free will gives us the ability to be good or bad, which will result in good and evil incidents.  If there's good, there has to be evil, or else good itself won't exist - how can we say one is good when that is the only way to be?

Today I relapsed.  I was a chain chewer, 3-4 pieces of gums average daily until I read an article in a magazine saying that chewing too much can make our jaws  muscular (I know I know...).  I've been avoiding the chewing gum shelf all this time but yesterday I glimpsed at those colorful Extra bottles sitting there quietly waiting to be picked up. Two seconds passed.  Life is short.... Before I knew it my hand snapped a light green bottle from the shelf as I was heading to the cashier.

I opened the cap of the bottle and popped a piece into my mouth. The sweet mint taste was glorious.  The taste was pleasant but the chewing sensation felt a little odd to me after being clean for 3 months.  I immediately told my friend how nice it was.  I still enjoyed the experience until 10 minutes later when the taste steadily disappeared. What use is a tasteless gum? The blandness annoyed me so much that I discounted my previous rave. It failed me.  Not long after that, I spat it out on a small piece of tissue, wrapped it and tossed it in the trash can. 

The gum was obsolete when it was tasteless - the best service it could do was to be thrown away. Keep on chewing it will annoy me, waste my energy and will be an opportunity cost - there are many tasty candies to be enjoyed out there.  As I was chatting to my friend, I was reminded about salt which has lost its saltiness and how God spits out those who are lukewarm. God must've felt like I did - only much more intensely, I'd imagine.  I paid Rp 18,000 (US$ 2.00) for a bottle of gums.  God paid the price of His own Son for us.  I didn't even know how it was made. God created us from scratch, in the image of Him. A gum is designed to give a short-term sensual pleasure.  We are created to reflect His glory. If I was that disappointed, I don't even want to imagine God's heartache when his children lose their saltiness.

Compared to a gum, I'd much rather be a cola gummy (the one with sour sugar coating) which burst with flavor in the beginning and cruises into a smooth cola flavor with a lemon zest until the end.  It has a shorter life compared to a gum but it accomplishes its mission towards the end.  A hard candy isn't too bad too... longer life but less variations in flavor over the course of its life. Hard candy, not lollipop, mind you, for a lollipop's impact is flaky - sometimes flavorful and sometimes obsolete, depending on the consumer.  Which in our case, whatever owns you, drives you - put simply, your god.  

But my highest aspiration is to be a Super Lemon.  Round and small, the sourness at the beginning is brutal. I've watched my friends ate it and everyone reacted differently. I was only locally affected - it knotted my jaw muscles.  For some other, however, the effect is more global. I've seen a friend's face turned red in five seconds, another couldn't take it and had to spit it out. Reactions towards it vary but one thing for sure - like it or not, it kicks you hard.  It doesn't end there though. Once you are past the sourness, it glides into lemony sweetness which tastes sweeter than anything because of the initial punch.  It never fails to give you that punch and it is not confused - it has a sweet, hard core.  

I was flipping through Derek Blasberg's book Classy and I saw an image that portrays backstabbing and it looked like the image above. It caught my attention because all this time, I've been imagining backstabbing as tiptoeing behind someone and stabbing the that person quietly when he's off guard.  

Yet this image depicts it even better - it shows how sweet you are in front of the person you backstab while you are ready to destroy him/her. It also shows how we backstab those who are within our reach - people who we can hug.  Brilliant - what would we be without art?

Prospecting, negotiating and closing a sales is a game.  Last weekend I visited a gym because a sales rep called a week earlier and offered me a 7-day trial.  The sales rep gave us a tour and at the end of it we sat down in the gym's lobby area to discuss the "investment" that I need to put in as they sales people put it (a.k.a. fees).  The sales rep, manager of the gym and the four of us sat for an hour plus and had quite a fun time discussing about other gyms - they were pretty convincing.  The negotiation was probably one of the most enjoyable business negotiation that I've ever been in my life.  The boss made us laughed sooo hard it felt like we were a bunch of friends. They gave us a reasonable price but I said I wouldn't sign that night, I'd have to try the gym out first, see for myself that it's not too packed and if I like the instructors there. To this he said the "special" offer only lasted that day.  SMACK! It hit me - they are NOT my friends. It's a game. I was so disturbed and disappointed by it that it bothered me for the rest of the night. 

On hindsight, I'm wondering if pressuring people to sign that very day makes sense. Did they meet a lot of potential customers who come only to get the 7-day trial and leave? Or are gym memberships impulse buys for many?

I wondered if it it worked for other potential customers - it definitely backfired in my case. I had no mixed feelings at all - I was plainly taken aback and hurt by that remark. Something which seems to be friendship is replaced by business.  When that happened, my guards climbed up instantly and I was ready to bargain hard.  In my case, it was a bad move.

Now, I think it's all about expectation.  Because it didn't negatively affect my father so much. He came to me and said "what are you waiting for? just join tonight!" My father is extremely decisive and when he's decided, he'll go full speed ahead to accomplish that task.  So I believe he was neither encouraged or discouraged by the remark.  He was unattached. I looked at him thinking "but... but.. they just hurt my feelings!"  On the way back, my brother and I felt quite hurt and uncomfortable while my dad said - "why are you hurt? what do you expect? it's business."

The thing that is so unsettling is how I found it to be hurtful. They got me - they very successfully made me very comfortable and I genuinely find them pleasant in a very short time.  (I am a skeptic so people are generally not likable to me.)  The last remark, however, left me with a bitter after taste worse than those left behind by bitter gourd.

Anyhow, it was an interesting experience, it was definitely a game.  I did join in the end - the sales rep positioned himself to be in my team and opponent of his boss.  I'm not sure, and I don't think want to find out, if this is true - it definitely worked if it was a strategy. 

My good friend Cindy was deciding between getting a cat or a dog.  My other good friend Antonette started a war on cuteness with me when she started sending pictures of her cat, Momo.  Of course pictures of Coco started flowing in to our inboxes.  The result? Cuteness overdose.  

Two days ago my Father came up with that question.  A great question, I think.  I have been so used to saying that, I never stopped and think - why God bless you?

After a quick digging on the web, the reason is because it expresses a wish (in a more technical term, it's subjunctive).  Clearer examples:

God bless you is a compressed version of May God Bless You

God blesses you means that it's a present fact, not a wish or a hope - e.g. God blesses me with so much abundance - it's a fact.

A 17-year-old boy from Anhui province in China sold his kidney because he wanted an iPad 2 and he couldn't afford it.  An illegal black market broker contacted the boy online and the boy agreed to have his kidney removed in a nearby town.  He earned his US$3,400 and he went back home frail with an iPad 2.  His mom asked multiple times before finding out about what he did. After the surgery, he had multiple infections from the operation because the hospital where he had his kidney removed was not a well-equipped hospital for such major surgeries.

I'm not sure who's to blame (apart from the obvious broker and hospital) in this event. Is it innocence which we can't blame or is it materialism ?  It could be a combination of both at lesser extremes - he wants an iPad 2 and thought exchanging his kidney for it is no big deal.   

Regardless of what's to blame, his story confirms my belief that parenting is the most difficult job in the world. How do you prevent such thing from happening to your boy? The madness that exists in this world is just too extensive - you just can't predict and prevent all sorts of crazy things from happening to your family. 

I've heard of different amount of sleep we require - my primary school text book says 7-8 hours, someone once told me that everyone has different amounts of sleep needed, Robin Sharma said if you train yourself, you'll get used to sleeping only 6 hours a night and my ex boss said he can easily pull of 5 hour sleep every night.  Last week I read an article that gave me a clear answer.

According to a study in U Penn - perhaps the longest sleep-restriction study of any kind - we need rock solid 8 hours.  Nope, even 7 is not enough.  In the test, people who sleep 8, 7, 6, 4 hours are tested for their sustained attention time and memory.

After being deprived of sleep for 2 weeks, the 6 hours subjects' performance were as impaired as those who haven't slept straight for 24 hours (apparently this is the cognitive equivalent of being drunk).

Those who sleep for 7 hours have deteriorating response times at their tests for the first three days before stabilizing at a lower time compared to when they start.

The research shows that there's a tiny fraction of the population (5% or less), probably due to genetics, who can pull 5 hours or less without impairing their performance.

If you think you sleep enough and you're sleeping anything less than 8 hours, think again.

A rather weird quote to be included in a restaurant, don’t you think? I’d think that such quote is counter productive for the restaurant which hears more “KA-CHING” when its customers order more?

My brother said that the restaurant may do that because it promotes healthy lifestyle but then I noticed that they quoted Sophie Kinsella’s character in Shopaholic on their table mats. It’s about how she loves shopping and if everyone can shop, there will be no depression in the world. Am I the only one missing the link here or are they just randomly putting quotes for their branding? hmmm….. What do I know… maybe they have a purpose for all that. I’m no marketing guru, after all. No, I’m just a curious customer who can’t seem to put the pieces together.

I'd say not, usually - unless I'm in a distressed situation and I have just dialed 911, like in the movies (then again, at that point there's a bigger chance I'll cry from relief than smile). American movies, because I don't recall seeing such scenes in Chinese or Indonesian movies.  Not like it's too far off from reality here, I won't think of calling a police in a distressed situation - now that I've come to think about it, I don't even know what's the 911 number here in Indonesia!

I was sidetracked - point is, because of the nature of the police here - mostly corrupt - they are not that highly honored in this society.  I think it's safe to say that when we see a plump policeman, we'll think "gee, he must have pocketed a lot of money."  The stereotype is usually not a positive one.  But today I'm bringing you my 5th inspiring ordinary - the smiling policeman. I see him quite often on my way to work and downtown- he's often stationed in a busy intersection 15 minutes from my house.  He's always smiling, showing off his big white teeth to the sleepy, unmotivated drivers (hey, it's 7 am and it's Jakarta-we're at least in the top 6 most congested cities in the world) while enthusiastically waving his traffic baton in the middle of the road.

I really can't say how much of a help he is to that intersection - we have passed that intersection when there's no police and it's usually not much worse than the mornings he was there.  Then again, he always makes me smile, which is much more nourishing than a minute saved in that intersection.  I'm not the only person too, my brother feels the same way.  So no, it's not my overly-sensitive side speaking here. It's also scientifically proven that smile is contagious. I bet he puts a smile on many faces in that intersection when he's there.  Actually, looking at his megawatt smile every time I passed that place, he must be putting smiles to people's faces ALL DAY LONG, wherever he is.  

While my brother appreciates his attitude, he did say this when I told him I'm going to feature him in my blog: "what if he's smiling because he has taken loads of money from people?" To be fair, his actions may not be different from that of other policemen, who knows? He hasn't caught me, so I haven't dealt with him personally.  But I still think I should brag about him.  Because mistakes and being sinful is a part of being a ordinary person, right?  Even people who hold high positions and adored by many in this world have their own vices.

The black-and-white-lover side of me wants to dismiss him as there's such a big chance people can react the same way as my brother does.  But unfortunately, life is messy. Who knows, I might be writing a post saying how I dislike that smiling policeman a week from now after being caught by him - but I'd rather be the person who gets inspired, then disappointed/ashamed because of it than that person who looks at the world and doesn't appreciate the small beauties the world brings.  I don't want to be picky in being inspired too. Call me a dreamer, but I want to be inspired everyday and everywhere.  

So, isn't this smiling policeman great?  He just uses an ordinary ability that God gives to most of the people in this world and reminds groggy drivers and passengers to lighten up a bit and smile.  I know I smile whenever I see him and think of him.

When you can, smile more, would you?

I was driving home hungry this evening, I noticed my half-full (can't you tell what kind of a person I am) tumbler from my morning coffee. I was so hungry I sipped it to discover that It. Was. Awesome. Warm and rich in flavor like it was freshly made. I said it's the tumbler, my brother said it was the Jakarta heat. Delicious, warm coffee sitting on a cup holder, one grab away from me when I was starving? I couldn't care less why it tasted good. It brought such a little joy to me. Little, yet it's a joy.

Being adventurous paid off today.