so many ways to lose

ok note to self i gotta leave the house regularly so that i dont feel like im slowly transforming into an evil fucking shadow clone of myself

So as it turns out your sense of self doesnt exist in a vacuum. You gotta actually use it and bounce it off of other people like echolocation to see where you are as a person and shit. So if you dont regularly interact with other people the echoes just get weaker and weaker and before you know it your personality is a blurry fucked up fog clone of its former self. which it sucks because this makes it really hard to interact with people again but yknow

and another thing when pip had that whole monologue abt trying to place ppl in the morally gray and she said abt elliot that oh well hes somewhere in the middle hes not an evil man even though he killed a teenager + had a relationship with a student that attended the high school this 40 plus year old man was teaching at (that his own daughters attended) + kidnapped some girl from the street and kept her locked up in a house for 3 years. like i dont think its that complicated actually i think YOU CAN put him in the unequivocally bad person box. and right after that putting max in the no nuances box which yeah fair, hes a rapist but so is elliot . he had a relationship with a high school student . why is that not acknowledged as rape

like this was insane why is there so much gaslighting in ya books

i havent read the entirety of agggtm yet but i find those books so weird

the stanley forbes retcon was so stupid like genuinely im baffled… like i dont think you can ‘i was raised by a serial killer and went after sal bc i saw my father in him wahh’ out of the fact that he specifically wrote racist articles about him. like the whole point of him was to show the racist bias that got ppl to believe so quickly that sal killed andie and to reframe the treatment ravi and his family went through in that town.. and then it was all taken back so he could become pip’s motivation in the third book like whatttt.. it was one of the FEW times the book acknowledged the optics of a brown boy being falsely accused of killing his white girlfriend even if it didn’t have the guts to fully delve into it and then it just took it back. whats going on. AND THEN TO HAVE THE SINGHS FORGIVE HIM AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SECOND BOOK AND PIP BE THE ONE TO HOLD A GRUDGE?????

sorry this is irrelevant but im watching the show now (bored) and this just pissed me off all over again as if it hasnt been years since i read the books + i didnt even get halfway through the third one

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

Does anyone know if we have the impending doom tomorrow?