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I have a clairvoyant friend who informed me that the mirror in my room needed to be removed. Why? Because this could mean that in relationships, there will be a third person. Scarily enough, this has been true for every time I can remember having a mirror in my room facing the bed. Of course I also know that my mind is only trying to justify this to be true, but never the less, it's fun to believe. 

 So I removed the mirror from my bedroom. This happened after my last monogamous relationship about two years ago and since then I can honestly say that no, I have not had a third wheel in my relationships since. Because I have not had one since. 

 She also insists that I get myself two bedside tables that match. I currently have just the one, I felt it created more space in the room. But having two bedside tables is supposed to bring love into my life. A relationship. I'm so comfortable being on my own that I have not even contemplated getting it “rectified"... Until now. I have just purchased two tables that are to be delivered next week. 

I have to admit, I am super curious to see if this voodoo works. But also not completely willing to give up my singledom. What if I set up the tables and suddenly get a boyfriend... Can I just move them away and see if the relationship falters? Would that be playing with karma fire? 

 I guess we will see when everything is set up...

Water installation #ngvmelbourne #ngv (at National Gallery of Victoria)

#aiweiwei #stools #art #warholweiwei #ngv #ngvmelbourne (at National Gallery of Victoria)

I have had an on and off relationship with the app Tinder for nearly two years now. It started off as curiosity and has now progressed to becoming a game. A game that feeds my ego and superficially makes me feel good about myself, if only for a few minutes.

Because I rarely swipe right, I have only physically met five guys through this app. I have heard it is normal to match with hundreds and only chat with a fraction and meet even less.

This particular snippet is about the last fellow I met: the Tinder Tent Thief. Allow me to elaborate. This guy, let’s call him D, “super likes” me. I check out his profile and he was a very good looking man, seemed well traveled as well. I’ve had prior experience with a dude not looking like their profile photos and not being like what they were portraying, so I was a little dubious.

We began messaging. He definitely seemed keen and as I was still dubious and also having an extremely busy month, I was not the quickest in responding. He continued to pursue - in hindsight I believe this was what he was really after - the chase. Typical. My delayed responses prompted him to give me a bit of an ultimatum - “I thought your profile was interesting and I’d like to meet, just let me know if you are too” - this piqued my interest. Perhaps I too, like the chase - I let him know I am keen to catch up and we make plans to meet mid week at lunch time.

We meet. It was good. More than good. I liked him. I was beaming. Like a friggin school girl with a high school crush. This beam lasted for days. I messaged him to let him know that I really enjoyed meeting him. And he lets me know he feels the same and says we should hang out. He asks if I own a tent. Yes, I have two tents - a two man tent and a six man tent. D asks to borrow the smaller tent for a wedding over the weekend. I say yes.

On Friday night, we plan to meet around 8:30pm, he messaged to tell me he was at dinner and that he was running late. An hour later, he shows up at mine with his friend. I lend him the tent and a bed to go with it. We all them go out for a drink and well, long story short, his friend goes home and we go back to mine to watch a movie. Because he had a wedding the next day and I was scheduled for a morning Pilates class, he did not spend the night. Sunday. He messages me to let me know that he was back. Thanks me for the tent and tells me he did not use it…. And that he will return it “pronto”

A few meaningless back and forth messages of basically me asking him to do something with me and him telling me he is busy, I began to feel like some annoying needy girl he was trying to get rid of. Nobody likes to feel this way. So I stop communications. Nothing worse that reaching out to someone when they clearly don’t want to be reached… By you anyway.

Speculations aside… Ok let me share mine with you - D hooked up with someone at the wedding and is now seeing her and like most men I have dealt with, is too cowardly to just let me know. So is instead choosing to pretend to be busy. Forever. While still holding on to my tent and my bed.

Quite the crazy scheme just to steal a tent but without any additional information from the assailant I can only speculate and tell stories. Perhaps there is a secret crime ring that tricks unsuspecting women on Tinder into a false sense of security and then asks to “borrow” items and then disappear. Perhaps D stalks potential victims on the app in order to collect items he does not already own. Maybe everything of his has actually been “borrowed” In the grander scheme of things and in my comically shitty luck with love, this anecdote is definitely more funny than sad. The days of the silly happy beaming when I legitimately thought this could have been something special were really memorable.

Murphy's Law. Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

Although I am reluctant, it has become somewhat of a life motto for me.

Countless instances throughout the years: lost opportunities, un-taken chances, regretful life choices - all of which plague me. Everyday.

I could actually just write a blog solely describing the numerous instances where plans fall apart and the disappointment consumes me. I may even decide to. For now, let's start with this.

Eight months ago I "met" someone. He is a friend of a friend and I have seen him around before. We officially met in the most unusual circumstances. Romantic even. At his comedy show (he’s a comedian, actor, musician etc), he pulled me up on stage as the audience participant.

There was something about him that drew me to him. The fact that he told our mutual friends that he nearly fell off the stage because he thought me so beautiful helped idealize him in my mind.

We met again a couple weeks later at his farewell gig where he DJed and hence was too busy to pay attention to me. He messaged me the next day to meet up. Although I would have loved to tell you that it was romantic and sweet, it wasn't. Not at first. It was clear that besides my so called beauty, he didn't think much else of me.

We went on that date. Had a kiss. He left to go back to London. And we told each other we would keep in touch. Fast forward a couple months later. With more communication and messages, he told me that he didn’t want to be with anyone until he sees me and we become official. The original plan was for him to come back for Xmas. This was the plan for the next few months. The plan we were working towards. Sorry, the plan I thought we were working towards.

Here is the first break. Due to financial issues, he was unable to return for Xmas. Instead of telling met his, he decide to write an email breaking up. I decide to fight. Which is something I rarely do for boys, as I rarely think they are worth it. We try to work something out. He decides to try to return still and this was the plan once again for weeks. Weeks turn into months. And again, with the burden of more financial issues, he is once again unable to return. Determined to spend Xmas and New Years with him, I throw down $2800 (twice the normal price of a return ticket to London) to fly there for the holiday season. Bear in mind, I will be taking my holiday days that I need for the following year. This will disrupt all the holidays I have planned for the next year.

 Excitement all around. This was four months before December. Four months didn’t seem so long anymore now that we had a date. He asked his cousin if he could borrow the car to pick me up as on Xmas day, the whole of London is shut down. This makes me extremely happy as now I won’t have to worry about my airport transfer. After spending so much money getting there, it was nice to have something taken care of.

 Nope.

 No car. I will need to now figure out my own transport. In fact, no money (on his end, not mine) He tells me that because he again has financial troubles, we will have to do London “on the cheap” – everything that was talked about and promised, taking me to a gig, taking me to Paris and Barcelona, taking me to Harry Potter, all out.

 It took a few more weeks for it to completely fall apart. So 2 weeks before I am to leave for the UK, we break up.  I still land on Xmas day. Everything is still shut on that day.

 It was all the lost opportunities, untaken chances, regretful life choices that have taken me to this point. But because I am so familiar with Murphy’s Law, I am surprisingly in a good place about it all. I have dependable friends I can stay with after Boxing day. And lots of old friends I need to catch up with while I am there.

 Oh. One more thing. It is now three days before I get on the plane and someone fraudulently used my credit card to buy a $995 rug online/on the phone. They have cancelled my card and will be reissuing it later this week. I will not have my Mastercard for this trip and not all places accept the AMEX. Because all of the mishaps and misfortunes that have led me to right now have not already been bad enough…

I have been a proudly proclaimed introvert ever since I can remember, well, ever since I found out what an introvert was.

Most people liken introversion to shyness, creativity, perhaps even eccentricity. Like I tell everyone, it simply means we recharge by being on our own or simply by not being sociable.

Living on my own, I am able to escape to my own beloved solitude whenever I please to recuperate and to regain energy to face necessary social interactions. This brilliantly helps me appear sociable and even extroverted, well, the alcohol present in most social situations also helps. A lot.

Okay, back on point. Creativity. I may be an introvert, but I sure would not consider myself creative. I wish I was one who used my alone time to create works of art or music but I am ashamed to admit that I usually sit on my couch, browse the internet on my iPad with Netflix playing in the background.

From time to time I’ll write a blog post, cook up a delicious meal I made up myself, knit a snood, or maybe even make myself a costume for a dress up (man I love a good dress up - any reason will do). But honestly, I have created nothing I am proud enough to brag about or passionate enough to continue doing on a regular basis.

Perhaps I have not been able to find that one specific creative outlet yet. Most likely, I’m just another boring, talentless nobody.