我不喜欢你

Anyone else the dumbest bitch alive?

As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost

i envy people who have dreams with clear rational plots like “i was on my favourite tv show for a day” my dreams are like i’m in a diner and i’m pregnant. i leave the diner and i’m in a forest watching the pregnant woman who is no longer me. she turns around and now we’re in a jeep and she’s my dad. we’re listening to music which is somehow numbers. he asks if i remember the time we went to pakistan and i say yeah because i do. i wake up and remember i’ve never been to pakistan in my life.

If i ever space out just know that this is what’s on my mind

Blabniel I’m the arcangel of motor mouths

Haaasel It’s pronounced “H-*light screaming*-sel”

anyone else live under the assumption that they’re constantly doing something wrong

How about the assumption that everyone’s just being polite and any minute now they’re going to snap and let you know how awful you are

Date someone who will date you

Need me a freak like that

in this house we are violently anti sparkling water