always gold

So something I’m struggling with and trying to be better at is my attitude towards people I work with that annoy me or just are not genuinely nice people. Most coworkers are female (like myself) and I find myself getting sucked into drama that is mainly started by one particular female who I’m trying to figure out why she is the way that she is. She just loves to start things by spreading twisted stories and lies and openly brown noses to my boss, and she has this sense of superiority that I can’t stand, and when I see her get knocked off her pedestal, I get this overwhelming feeling of joy, but then a bit after I feel guilty. Why do I delight in others’ misery, and who am I to say if it is ultimately deserved? Why can’t I just be kind and treat her nicely (along with all the other people who bother me)? I complain about how no one seems to support each other or work as a team, and instead of complaining I need to start being the one to initiate the support and kindness to others. I’m mad at myself for seeing my fellow females as competitors and not supporting them like I should.