i am being perfectly fucking civil

a billionaire can never be held accountable, therefore a billionaire must never make a management decision

i have a suggestion

forcefemming the billionaires won't help

sorry I thought you were someone else

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

Somewhere out there on a planet very far away is a civilization that has included our sun in a beloved constellation of some animal we couldn't dream up if we tried

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

how is there work tomorrow i mean how is that possible

what doesn’t kill me leaves a pit in my stomach that never goes away

Lately everything that happens feels like it was engineered in a lab to drive us all insane

i hope we all never have to hear about soccer ever the fuck again

If your life is horrible and you need a new source of meaning and direction.... Do NOT find religion. Learn to identify plants.