This is my last brie torte.

i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue

ah ha ha no girl don't use Vampirism, Religion, and/or Cannibalism as a metaphor for all consuming love and obsession you're so sexy ah ha

one of the funniest things about percy exploring the mythic world is that unlike other children’s fantasy stories, there is absolutely no starry-eyed wonder, instead percy’s just going “ah fuck” at the tenth vaguely greek looking structure or yet another unexplainable magical occurrence. more than excitement at discovering this new world, he is just so tired of all the bullshit surrounding him 24/7 and i think it’s just so valid.

not to be problematic but i literally do not give a shit about age gaps when dating vampires. they thirst for your blood. "but it's predatory!!!!" yeah. it is. "they're preying on you!!!" they're vampires. they do that. "it's a power imbalance!!!!!!" what part of vampires are you not getting

love it when my cats make that one face when i scratch their chins. the -ﻌ- one you know what i mean.

hate that english makes you say things like "that that" and "do do"

cat laziness is so contagious. you'll see your cat flopped on its back in your bed a completely comfy cozy baby and you'll be like. you're right. you make a compelling argument.

*covered in blood & in visible distress* i just need to write a list

People being like "why is Ken just Ken" and thinking it's a gimmick for girl bossing Barbie clearly never watched Barbie Life in the Dream House because if they had they'd know that Ken is a very smart and capable guy but chooses to dedicate his life to Barbie because he loves her. He literally has a sixth sense for if Barbie is unhappy or needs something and will drop everything to help/cheer her up. Ken chooses not to pursue careers like Barbie does because it would interrupt his Barbie time. Ken is a self imposed trophy husband and I won't let people question his decision!

“how can a horror movie be comforting” sigh……. u wouldn’t get it

. that is a serial killer

moon knight is not realistic because if oscar isaac stood me up on a date then called me back two days later i’d simply haul ass and meet him. you’re right babe it IS friday that’s on me.