all hail the swarm

We are a very responsible and highly ethical technology company that makes Products™®© and Services™®© to let schools monitor their students in a variety of ways, including:

activity on school devices

activity on non-school devices

medical information of all kinds

physical activities, 24/7 and both on- and off-campus

gender and sexual orientation

private thoughts inside their heads

dreams

and then come up with excuses to use this information to SWAT them! Also, we are currently conferencing with some Highly Reputable and Not-At-All biased scientists so we can have a paper that shows how much our services are totally good and helpful for everyone involved! We don't know specifically what they are researching but we are confident it will be good.

Our Mission

Torment Hypercube™®© turns mobile-friendly security insight into centralized integration approval, optimizing your district to maximize contextual response intervention, drive integration, and maximize the agentic risk insight of your centralized prevention optimization. 87% say our company is good and does good things [citation needed].

Our Name

"Torment Hypercube" is inspired by the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel "Don't Create the Torment Nexus" and by the word "hypercube" because it sounds very sciencey and quantum despite being only one of these things at best.

Orphan Crushing Hydraulic Press™®©

Introducing Torment Hypercube™®© AI-powered Thumbscrews™®©! school counselors will never have any trouble extracting confessions from students again.

By gathering students suspected by our AI to be at risk of mental illness and using a variety of medieval torture devices on them, we can reduce the amount of false negatives to zero! Talking about your mental health has never been easier. We just need you to give us all your money first.

note that these are things that worked at some point in time for me and my friends at our school, and may not work for everyone depending on how on top of things your school's IT person is! also if you have solutions for anything you can comment them and i'll add them to this post

GoGuardian (chrome extension): delete the profile you've been using with your school account, create a new one (with the school account,) and select the "no" response when it prompts you to sync your history/tabs/theme/extensions. this worked for me when i was in middle school, but i haven't checked since then

GoGuardian (app): network settings > vpn > goguardian press the little information icon and turn off "connect on demand," then turn off the vpn this works for me as of right now and is how i'm on tumblr making this post. it's also very patchable and probably will not work for everyone, but might be worth a try if your school hasn't figured it out yet

VisigoAgent (app): if your school has installed visigoagent and you keep getting an annoying popup asking you to give it screen recording and input monitoring permissions, this stops the popup from existing while it's running :3 indent everything after "while True"

import subprocess import time

while True: result1 = subprocess.run(['killall', "System Settings"], capture_output=True, text=True) result2 = subprocess.run(['killall', "VisigoAgent"], capture_output=True, text=True) if result1.stderr != "No matching processes belonging to you were found\n": print("Other output from System Settings killer: " + str(result1)) if result2.stderr != "No matching processes belonging to you were found\n": print("Other output from VisigoAgent killer: " + str(result2)) time.sleep(0.1)

courtesy of one of the Torment Hypercube people who is not on tumblr! to be run in a local python file