mike The Italian

IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE FRED & DAPHNE

FUCK YOU AND YOUR BITTER JEALOUS LONELINESS HOWARD STERN

YES SO GOOD!!!!!

THIS IS A PRECIOUS POST!

Told you Buffy and Iron Bull were cannon

i forgot how fucking weird november is theres no afternoon its just night after 2pm

A cunning vampire door-to-door salesperson who stands in people’s doorways and talks until they can find a convenient moment to drop their pen and the person picks it up and the vampire says oh “Thank you” and the person says “you’re welcome” and the vampire smiles a big fangy grin and steps inside And that’s this vampire’s modus operandi for decades And then the language starts to change and suddenly millenials have homes and the vampire thanks them and they say “oh, no problem” and the vampire is like ???????????????? this was not the plan

Millineals Are Killing the Vampire Industry

honestly the most unbelievable part of this is where millenials can afford to own homes

the second most unbelievable part of this is millenials answering their front doors for people they didnt know were coming over

listen… nothing in this world makes sense. fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing and boxing rings are square and noses run and feet smell and shrek 1 and 2 made it to cannes film festival. just do whatever the fuck you want honestly